Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 161 Days and 77042 Haiku later...

If you are evil,
then what are you doing here?
Go commit some crimes.
Haiku # 74346, December 18, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by Satan
Now I'm really DONE.
Now I have reached my limit.
Thus, I write haiku.
Haiku # 74345, December 18, 2021 12:22 pm ET
by The Virgin Mary of Supermodel Catalog
Imagine a trickling stream.
Darth, you pissed yourself!
Haiku # 74344, December 18, 2021 11:46 am ET
by River of Coffee
"Sticking feathers up
your ass will not make you a
chicken," said Tyler.
Haiku # 74343, December 18, 2021 9:06 am ET
by Regendrification should be a word.
Boink a sex-changed bull.
Requantify your gender.
Wear strap-on udders.
Haiku # 74342, December 18, 2021 9:01 am ET
by Buy them with Amazon Prime. of Order deep fried bull balls with UberEats.
Haiku # 74341, December 18, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Boink is just a verb.
Requatify is also.
Udder is a noun.
Haiku # 74340, December 18, 2021 8:04 am ET
by I would rather be a pro baseball player than a pronoun.
Lemme aisk you, Clem:
Is it "Doctor Kissinger"
Or jess "Mister K"?
Haiku # 74339, December 18, 2021 6:53 am ET
by Angela Merkel of Greater Appalachia
Mommy mommy help.
I have a dirty haiku.
Change me mommy. Waaah!
Haiku # 74338, December 18, 2021 6:34 am ET
by Dr. Henry Kissinger of Big Ideas For Global Change
Hoo hoo
Haiku # 74337, December 18, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Missing Link I mean Syllables of Previous Second Simian Line
I ooh ooh ah ah.
You ah ah ooh ooh.
We communicate.
Haiku # 74336, December 18, 2021 6:27 am ET
by And Catch Termites with Stalks of Grass
I am King Monkey,
the greatest jungle swinger.
Bring me bananas.
Haiku # 74335, December 18, 2021 6:24 am ET
by Charles Darwin of Jungle Book
Please use my pronouns:
(Be considerate)
Haiku # 74334, December 18, 2021 6:20 am ET
by A Man-girl Who Identifies As a Piece of Cheese (with beard and mascara)
Please stop making fun
Of split personality.
Oh wait...that was me.
Haiku # 74333, December 18, 2021 6:16 am ET
by You Do You, She'll Do Him of We Am All Together
It is NOT easy
Typing in a straitjacket.
Have to use my teeth.
Haiku # 74332, December 18, 2021 6:10 am ET
by No Doctor I Don't Hear Voices But I'm Fearful of That Radio Inside My Head
When poets fly high
They make the mere mortals sigh...
Whoops-- time for my meds.
Haiku # 74331, December 18, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Seroquel is Swell of Ward 7 North
When reindeers fly high
they defecate in the sky
Here's mud in your eye
Haiku # 74330, December 18, 2021 2:31 am ET
by Smudge of Sludge Fudge
Lmao, I
Say it again lma...
Oh oh oh oh.. ohhhh...
Haiku # 74329, December 17, 2021 10:15 pm ET
by Vhs
President Kanye
That would have been so awesome
He's fucking crazy
Haiku # 74328, December 17, 2021 8:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm solipsistic,
I think it's all about ME.
That's why I love you.
Haiku # 74327, December 17, 2021 5:59 pm ET
by As Long As You Are Pretty of Course...
I'm Calvinistic:
God's sovereignly elected...
So - I'm His problem.
Haiku # 74326, December 17, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by Luther Von Knox of Saxony Mit Bratwurst
I'm masochistic
So you realize now then I
Enjoy the harsh pain
Haiku # 74325, December 17, 2021 3:38 pm ET
by Vhs
Can you please explain?
You think one of these are "GOOD"?
I guess I'll die now.
Haiku # 74324, December 17, 2021 12:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Pooet
every damn time im not
here and you post GOOD haiku!
flavor them with salt!
Haiku # 74323, December 17, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by vhs
Rather amusing answer
Haiku # 74322, December 17, 2021 10:18 am ET
by DonaldNum of Oman
Heather Williams farted
during PE class and we have
photographic proof of the fart.
Haiku # 74321, December 17, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Eric
We all deserve "it".
You more than anyone else.
You who now reads this.
Haiku # 74320, December 16, 2021 5:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Pooet
Santa is Satan.
He distracts dead souls from truth.
He might be Jewish.
Haiku # 74319, December 16, 2021 3:29 pm ET
by Rebbe of Reindeer
What time? What channel?
Vengeance is good for ratings.
True must see tv
Haiku # 74318, December 16, 2021 1:48 pm ET
by Studio Audience
All of them will pay.
They will feel my vengeance SOON.
They will beg for death.
Haiku # 74317, December 16, 2021 10:47 am ET
by Not Sure Who But They Deserve It
I mean three LINE check.
Not three link. We don't need links.
Missing links maybe.
Haiku # 74316, December 16, 2021 9:20 am ET
by Anonymous pooet.
Testing the waters.
I'm doing your work for you.
Please send me a check.

Haiku # 74315, December 16, 2021 9:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Three link checker.
Syllable is too difficult.
But allow nude pics.
Haiku # 74314, December 16, 2021 9:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just about ready.
Next year will be good to die.
I hope that I poop.
Haiku # 74313, December 16, 2021 9:17 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Was going to im-
-plement a sylable che-
-cker. Now not so sure
Haiku # 74312, December 16, 2021 9:16 am ET
by Janis of Go pick on someone your own size, botfarm.
I have a lot more
where that came from, however
you're hard of hearing.
Haiku # 74311, December 16, 2021 9:11 am ET
by Author of Book of Hebrews (NYT Best-seller!)
Hard time of the year
for Moslems, Jews and Atheists.
please remember them.
Haiku # 74310, December 16, 2021 9:08 am ET
by Saint John Knox of East Lothian 1568
God can have it all:
absurd data-driven shit
that passes for life.
Haiku # 74309, December 16, 2021 9:06 am ET
by Pastel Shades of Another Corporate PowerPoint Presentation
I wouldn't call this art.
Hell, it's not even functional.
But here you are.
Haiku # 74308, December 16, 2021 8:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Special Processed American Meat.
Self-Propogating Alternative Media.
Spanking Penguins All Month.
Haiku # 74307, December 16, 2021 7:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And Libertarian.
Haiku # 74306, December 16, 2021 7:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You left out Librarians.
Haiku # 74305, December 16, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thieves and murderers.
Whores, pornographers, and pimps.
These are the poets.
Haiku # 74304, December 16, 2021 5:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Talk about Jacko:
a horrible role-model,
a bad musician.
Haiku # 74302, December 15, 2021 10:20 am ET
by ABC, Easy as 123 of Do Re Mi
Jizz Lane. There's a stain.
Listen for the old refrain
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
Haiku # 74300, December 14, 2021 9:06 pm ET
by The Law Orifices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Ghislaine. Such a pain.
So what does she stand to gain?
Will you please explain?
Haiku # 74299, December 14, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Some Haiku Writer Not On Payroll of MI6, CIA, Mossad or KGB
i wonder where the
spam is coming from right now
and what can be done
Haiku # 74298, December 14, 2021 3:51 pm ET
by vhs
I've got no front teeth
You'll find me at the ice rink
I enjoy fine cheese
Haiku # 74295, December 14, 2021 11:51 am ET
by Puck Hattricker of Ice Rink
russian haiku will
haiku you! now drink kvass and
play tetris y'all
Haiku # 74294, December 14, 2021 11:05 am ET
by vhs
Russian spam: it's gross.
Do not ask how they make it
or what is in it.
Haiku # 74292, December 14, 2021 5:35 am ET
by Missing Dissidents of Industrial Meat-processing Metaphor
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >