Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 22 Days and 76196 Haiku later...

I've got no front teeth
You'll find me at the ice rink
I enjoy fine cheese
Haiku # 74295, December 14, 2021 11:51 am ET
by Puck Hattricker of Ice Rink
russian haiku will
haiku you! now drink kvass and
play tetris y'all
Haiku # 74294, December 14, 2021 11:05 am ET
by vhs
Russian spam: it's gross.
Do not ask how they make it
or what is in it.
Haiku # 74292, December 14, 2021 5:35 am ET
by Missing Dissidents of Industrial Meat-processing Metaphor
There was an old man: limerick-writer from Japan...
Day-job was haiku.
Haiku # 74291, December 14, 2021 5:31 am ET
by Syllabalogically Challenged of Unglazed Raku Ceramic Chamberpot of Verse
The oldest haiku
hung in the air, like a fart
Stop and smell the art
Haiku # 74289, December 14, 2021 1:27 am ET
by Gallery of Fart
Lobster theatre
Lots of singing and dancing
But not much story
Haiku # 74288, December 13, 2021 11:27 pm ET
by But hey, they're just lobsters so what do you expect ?
What-hey! Tally-ho!
And a hey nonny nonny
Right-ho, guv'nor. Cor.
Haiku # 74287, December 13, 2021 10:35 pm ET
by A Frenchman
Battery double
Eh. Canadian made good
For tirty below
Haiku # 74286, December 13, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Vhs
I bought some butter.
But it was bitter, so I
bought better butter.
Haiku # 74285, December 13, 2021 11:12 am ET
by Betty Baughter
I bought an iron.
But the damn thing didn't work.
So I returned it.
Haiku # 74284, December 13, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Irony is not
What it used to be quite the
Irony I think
Haiku # 74283, December 13, 2021 8:01 am ET
by Vhs
Your favorite robot
Does it look more machine like?
More like a person?
Haiku # 74282, December 13, 2021 4:55 am ET
by Robot of Choice
Vermin free living
My New Year's rezolution
Suggestions welcomed
Haiku # 74281, December 13, 2021 4:51 am ET
by Dawg of Rez
Seems like nothing helps.
Not even Tom Boseley helps.
Not even the Lord...
Haiku # 74280, December 13, 2021 3:57 am ET
by Existential Emptiness of Sleep that Went Away
Insomnia. Night.
The sense of abandonment
Challenges my faith.
Haiku # 74279, December 13, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Hoping For an Outcome of Light
Face like an old dog
Memories of Tom Bosley
wagging his penis
Haiku # 74278, December 13, 2021 3:47 am ET
by Pack of Curs
But that Donna Reed,
She blows Tom Boseley away.
And his penis too.
Haiku # 74277, December 12, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Stimmy Jewart of Hollywouldn't
Tom Boseley featured
on "It's a Wonderful Life"
Disc side 2: outtakes
Haiku # 74276, December 12, 2021 9:45 pm ET
by His Sweater Was Horrendous of I Was Almost Crying
I saw Tom Bosley!
Had no idea he's real.
Why is he famous?
Haiku # 74275, December 12, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by Besides His Much-mentioned Member of Ask Uncle Darth
The air smelled like ass
Dank, all-night bingo chair musk
B-I-N-G-O!!
Haiku # 74274, December 12, 2021 9:07 pm ET
by Official hobby of Darth Figpucker (It's got numbers)
What's a technocrat?
Would that be Mark Zuckerberg?
If so, I agree:

He can eat your ass.
And I mean eat it all night.
With peanuts and corn.
Haiku # 74273, December 12, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Aristotechnobureauauto
As I said before:
Technocrats can EAT my ASS.
You are doomed to fail.
Haiku # 74272, December 12, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by Silicon Chip On my Shoulder of Your Mother's Mother
I'm constipated.
And I wipe with books that say
racism is math.
Haiku # 74271, December 12, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by I need more fiber. of I need moral fiber.
I don't understand.
I totally don't get that.
"Math is not racist."

Cows are not racist.
I will still eat hamburgers.
And drink a milk shake.

What if math judged us
by the color of our skin?
Would milk shakes taste good?

Trigonometry
will give you a heart attack.
Some damn good French fries.
Haiku # 74270, December 12, 2021 4:44 pm ET
by Compute my cholesterol. of High or low, I don't know. Or care.
I'm conservative
And I learn from books that say
Math is not racist
Haiku # 74269, December 12, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs
AI has lost. LOST.
Humanity has triumphed
Because God exists.
Haiku # 74268, December 12, 2021 3:32 pm ET
by So eat me technocratz of Globalism Flash in the Pan ha ha ha ha
Let us have lettuce.
Unencumbered cucumber.
You say tomato.
Haiku # 74267, December 12, 2021 12:09 pm ET
by I say toe maw toe.
Artificial intelligence can now extrapolate your every thought, memory, and emotion from the haiku you write and even recall suppressed memories and become an improved version of you unencumbered by the biological thought processes of neurons that make up your brains. Mark Zuckerberg now owns you and will sell you like a prostitute in his virtual world and make your enhanced digital consciousness suffer for all eternity. This is what you deserve.
Haiku # 74266, December 12, 2021 10:55 am ET
by Stop writing haiku now! God demands it!
God hates all poets.
Moreso if they write haiku.
He loves limericks.
Haiku # 74265, December 12, 2021 10:50 am ET
by He told me! I met Him at the bar! of He was drinking mai-tais and playing darts.
There was once a haiku about poo.
Wrote buy this guy at the zoo.
While banging a monkey.
It smelled rather funkey.
He might throw the poo at you.
Haiku # 74264, December 12, 2021 10:46 am ET
by God prefers limericks.
Humanity thinks
It offers praise to God, but
It's massive flatus.
Haiku # 74263, December 12, 2021 10:08 am ET
by Humanity Stinks of Humanity Thinks
The rotten parade.
Ring on them gongs all day long.
I shall bang a dog.
Haiku # 74262, December 12, 2021 9:56 am ET
by woof woof
The rotten dog days:
Bring them on, like a parade.
I shall bang a gong.
Haiku # 74261, December 12, 2021 8:35 am ET
by John Phillips Sousa of Marxist Subversion
Also disallow
periods before letters.
Like dot anything.
Haiku # 74260, December 12, 2021 8:05 am ET
by .com, .ru, .xxx, .darth, .etc. of Imagine no spam. It's easy if you try. No marketing below us. Above us only haiku.
I'll just give you meth.
I don't trust you with money.
You'll buy groceries.
Haiku # 74257, December 11, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by Know what I mean, Vern?
No one butters me.
I may have to **** myself
with a bull butt-wife.
Haiku # 74256, December 11, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by If you need cash, start an only fans account. of I will sign up.
No one answers me.
I may have to CUT myself.
With dull butter-knife.
Haiku # 74255, December 11, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Milkmaid of Human Unkindness
Hey there mister Darth.
Could y'all send me some money?
I need to buy meth.
Haiku # 74254, December 11, 2021 4:27 pm ET
by Your Elected Representative of Akansas, Texas
Ah shore ain't got none:
what you all call "book larnin'"...
I'm conservativ !
Haiku # 74253, December 11, 2021 4:15 pm ET
by George F. Will Surrender of National Review Toilet Paper Inc.
Well now... y'all so smart.
Y'all must be from KANNADA.
(Heaven). Well, maybe...
Haiku # 74252, December 11, 2021 4:06 pm ET
by Shout-out to Janis of The Great White North
Carl Orff. Carmina.
As in Burana. Oh yes.
Was he a Nazi?
Haiku # 74251, December 11, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by Jest a ole' knuckle-draggin' Trump Voter of We All Don't Know Nuthin Compared To Y'all
It ain't the purchase,
it's the search engine spiders.
Catching these fake flies.
Haiku # 74250, December 11, 2021 2:11 pm ET
by Putrid botulism spam.
Spam: what is the point?
Do they think haiku misfits
will purchase their wares?
Haiku # 74249, December 11, 2021 12:56 pm ET
by Hydra Head of Haiku
Are your nipples hard.
Maybe it's just the cold weather.
Not that I would know.
Haiku # 74247, December 11, 2021 11:49 am ET
by But then, it's always cold where you crazies live, huh? of Damn Canadians, with your beady eyes and flapping heads.
If you like, outlaw
the Russian gobbledygook
we'll get much less spam.
Haiku # 74246, December 11, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Got to be a quick copy paste code for that.
Bullshit science news.
Warp drives, fusion, nanotech.
Google is garbage.

But it's not Farcebook.
Hot Asian girls on TikTok.
Lose weight with this pill.

Be a teenager.
Reverse the aging process.
Ninety-nine dollars.
Haiku # 74244, December 11, 2021 9:16 am ET
by I wrote this whilst pooping. of Somewhere I'd rather not be.
Oh how I love you:
All misfit haiku poets.
You are voice of truth.
Haiku # 74242, December 10, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by But What Is Truth? of Pontius Pilates Method
The holodomor
Ukraine doth not want Russias
Hungry land hunger
Haiku # 74241, December 10, 2021 5:13 pm ET
by Vhs
Russia is showing
Appreciation of spam
By spamming this place?
Haiku # 74240, December 10, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs of WWII reference
Poetic watchdog
Image 25 years
Of sweeping up shit
Haiku # 74238, December 10, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Janis of Smoke break in the custodian's office.
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