Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
Seems like nothing helps.
Not even Tom Boseley helps.
Not even the Lord...
Haiku # 74280 December 13, 2021 3:57 am ET
by Existential Emptiness of Sleep that Went Away
Insomnia. Night.
The sense of abandonment
Challenges my faith.
Haiku # 74279 December 13, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Hoping For an Outcome of Light
Face like an old dog
Memories of Tom Bosley
wagging his penis
Haiku # 74278 December 13, 2021 3:47 am ET
by Pack of Curs
But that Donna Reed,
She blows Tom Boseley away.
And his penis too.
Haiku # 74277 December 12, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by Stimmy Jewart of Hollywouldn't
Tom Boseley featured
on "It's a Wonderful Life"
Disc side 2: outtakes
Haiku # 74276 December 12, 2021 9:45 pm ET
by His Sweater Was Horrendous of I Was Almost Crying
I saw Tom Bosley!
Had no idea he's real.
Why is he famous?
Haiku # 74275 December 12, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by Besides His Much-mentioned Member of Ask Uncle Darth
The air smelled like ass
Dank, all-night bingo chair musk
B-I-N-G-O!!
Haiku # 74274 December 12, 2021 9:07 pm ET
by Official hobby of Darth Figpucker (It's got numbers)
What's a technocrat?
Would that be Mark Zuckerberg?
If so, I agree:

He can eat your ass.
And I mean eat it all night.
With peanuts and corn.
Haiku # 74273 December 12, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Aristotechnobureauauto
As I said before:
Technocrats can EAT my ASS.
You are doomed to fail.
Haiku # 74272 December 12, 2021 5:09 pm ET
by Silicon Chip On my Shoulder of Your Mother's Mother
I'm constipated.
And I wipe with books that say
racism is math.
Haiku # 74271 December 12, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by I need more fiber. of I need moral fiber.
I don't understand.
I totally don't get that.
"Math is not racist."

Cows are not racist.
I will still eat hamburgers.
And drink a milk shake.

What if math judged us
by the color of our skin?
Would milk shakes taste good?

Trigonometry
will give you a heart attack.
Some damn good French fries.
Haiku # 74270 December 12, 2021 4:44 pm ET
by Compute my cholesterol. of High or low, I don't know. Or care.
I'm conservative
And I learn from books that say
Math is not racist
Haiku # 74269 December 12, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs
AI has lost. LOST.
Humanity has triumphed
Because God exists.
Haiku # 74268 December 12, 2021 3:32 pm ET
by So eat me technocratz of Globalism Flash in the Pan ha ha ha ha
Let us have lettuce.
Unencumbered cucumber.
You say tomato.
Haiku # 74267 December 12, 2021 12:09 pm ET
by I say toe maw toe.
Artificial intelligence can now extrapolate your every thought, memory, and emotion from the haiku you write and even recall suppressed memories and become an improved version of you unencumbered by the biological thought processes of neurons that make up your brains. Mark Zuckerberg now owns you and will sell you like a prostitute in his virtual world and make your enhanced digital consciousness suffer for all eternity. This is what you deserve.
Haiku # 74266 December 12, 2021 10:55 am ET
by Stop writing haiku now! God demands it!
God hates all poets.
Moreso if they write haiku.
He loves limericks.
Haiku # 74265 December 12, 2021 10:50 am ET
by He told me! I met Him at the bar! of He was drinking mai-tais and playing darts.
There was once a haiku about poo.
Wrote buy this guy at the zoo.
While banging a monkey.
It smelled rather funkey.
He might throw the poo at you.
Haiku # 74264 December 12, 2021 10:46 am ET
by God prefers limericks.
Humanity thinks
It offers praise to God, but
It's massive flatus.
Haiku # 74263 December 12, 2021 10:08 am ET
by Humanity Stinks of Humanity Thinks
The rotten parade.
Ring on them gongs all day long.
I shall bang a dog.
Haiku # 74262 December 12, 2021 9:56 am ET
by woof woof
The rotten dog days:
Bring them on, like a parade.
I shall bang a gong.
Haiku # 74261 December 12, 2021 8:35 am ET
by John Phillips Sousa of Marxist Subversion
Also disallow
periods before letters.
Like dot anything.
Haiku # 74260 December 12, 2021 8:05 am ET
by .com, .ru, .xxx, .darth, .etc. of Imagine no spam. It's easy if you try. No marketing below us. Above us only haiku.
I'll just give you meth.
I don't trust you with money.
You'll buy groceries.
Haiku # 74257 December 11, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by Know what I mean, Vern?
No one butters me.
I may have to **** myself
with a bull butt-wife.
Haiku # 74256 December 11, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by If you need cash, start an only fans account. of I will sign up.
No one answers me.
I may have to CUT myself.
With dull butter-knife.
Haiku # 74255 December 11, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Milkmaid of Human Unkindness
Hey there mister Darth.
Could y'all send me some money?
I need to buy meth.
Haiku # 74254 December 11, 2021 4:27 pm ET
by Your Elected Representative of Akansas, Texas
Ah shore ain't got none:
what you all call "book larnin'"...
I'm conservativ !
Haiku # 74253 December 11, 2021 4:15 pm ET
by George F. Will Surrender of National Review Toilet Paper Inc.
Well now... y'all so smart.
Y'all must be from KANNADA.
(Heaven). Well, maybe...
Haiku # 74252 December 11, 2021 4:06 pm ET
by Shout-out to Janis of The Great White North
Carl Orff. Carmina.
As in Burana. Oh yes.
Was he a Nazi?
Haiku # 74251 December 11, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by Jest a ole' knuckle-draggin' Trump Voter of We All Don't Know Nuthin Compared To Y'all
It ain't the purchase,
it's the search engine spiders.
Catching these fake flies.
Haiku # 74250 December 11, 2021 2:11 pm ET
by Putrid botulism spam.
Spam: what is the point?
Do they think haiku misfits
will purchase their wares?
Haiku # 74249 December 11, 2021 12:56 pm ET
by Hydra Head of Haiku
Are your nipples hard.
Maybe it's just the cold weather.
Not that I would know.
Haiku # 74247 December 11, 2021 11:49 am ET
by But then, it's always cold where you crazies live, huh? of Damn Canadians, with your beady eyes and flapping heads.
If you like, outlaw
the Russian gobbledygook
we'll get much less spam.
Haiku # 74246 December 11, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Got to be a quick copy paste code for that.
Bullshit science news.
Warp drives, fusion, nanotech.
Google is garbage.

But it's not Farcebook.
Hot Asian girls on TikTok.
Lose weight with this pill.

Be a teenager.
Reverse the aging process.
Ninety-nine dollars.
Haiku # 74244 December 11, 2021 9:16 am ET
by I wrote this whilst pooping. of Somewhere I'd rather not be.
Oh how I love you:
All misfit haiku poets.
You are voice of truth.
Haiku # 74242 December 10, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by But What Is Truth? of Pontius Pilates Method
The holodomor
Ukraine doth not want Russias
Hungry land hunger
Haiku # 74241 December 10, 2021 5:13 pm ET
by Vhs
Russia is showing
Appreciation of spam
By spamming this place?
Haiku # 74240 December 10, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs of WWII reference
Poetic watchdog
Image 25 years
Of sweeping up shit
Haiku # 74238 December 10, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Janis of Smoke break in the custodian's office.
Ron Nat fucked a bat
Then his fat ass sat and shat
In his cowboy hat
Haiku # 74236 December 10, 2021 11:51 am ET
by Studio Audience
Ronald Nat, you shat . . .
and your foul verborrhea
is exactly that.
Haiku # 74234 December 10, 2021 8:34 am ET
by Then Again You Are A Bot of Feel the Luv
Your erection was storen

(7 syrraburs)
Haiku # 74232 December 10, 2021 6:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Prease risten to me:
Erection was STOREN!
Donard Trump weenah!
Haiku # 74231 December 10, 2021 6:14 am ET
by Shiromatsu Sakamoto of Wearing a Bamboo Hat While Programming Vote Machine
orgasmatron
Haiku # 74230 December 9, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Order Yours Today of *helmet not included
Stuff the balot box
See who wins the erection
Aphrodisiac
Haiku # 74229 December 9, 2021 11:02 pm ET
by HaikQ-anon of Orgamatron and voting booth
Hey, Zeus! Jesus! LORD!
Wanted haiku, got novel.
Can we nuke Russia?
Haiku # 74228 December 9, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Can we, mom, pleeeeze?????
This are circumvent.
Your essays is valious
for high notes of bot
Haiku # 74226 December 9, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by Like Yo Mama's Ugly Bot-ass-face of Chinee Dragon Breath Ching-Chong Oh sorry
Our world is absurd.
Nowhere can the truth be heard.
Balot of lies. Word.
Haiku # 74225 December 9, 2021 3:59 pm ET
by Surfin' Biiiiirrrrrrd %4#@ of Papa Mao Mao Poppa Mao Ma Mao
Coffee rented in
Our system turns into bad
Body humor here
Haiku # 74222 December 9, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Vhs
The Collected Works
Of Sir Darth Figpucker, Esq.
That's my Christmas list
Haiku # 74221 December 9, 2021 2:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
I don't have a dink.
Tell me, how do guys make foam?
Is there a button?
Haiku # 74219 December 9, 2021 9:01 am ET
by bathroom barista of coming soon to a bathroom near you
When guys pee, we try
to foam up the whole surface.
And God does that too.
Haiku # 74218 December 9, 2021 7:09 am ET
by With infinite power, what else would one do?
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >