Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 190 Days and 77102 Haiku later...

When guys pee, we try
to foam up the whole surface.
And God does that too.
Haiku # 74218, December 9, 2021 7:09 am ET
by With infinite power, what else would one do?
In the middle of
my psychological test
I spoke in haiku
Haiku # 74216, December 9, 2021 2:39 am ET
by sk of Straitjacket
That was a bad bad
Haiku where I just farted
After reading it.
Haiku # 74214, December 8, 2021 9:06 pm ET
by Vhs
Yeah, you win.
Haiku # 74213, December 8, 2021 6:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i know I'm getting
older, high blood pressure and
pissing contests here.

as in pissing out
the high blood pressure causing
coffee, gatorade.
Haiku # 74212, December 8, 2021 6:27 pm ET
by vhs of i had a pissing contest this evening.
Too much glory hole.
You should get a hotel room.
Your knees will thank you.
Haiku # 74211, December 8, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Or by today's standard, just do it on a park bench. of If arrested, just claim cultural discrimination and denying your gender identity.
Heck, my knees are stiff
Haikumatoid darthritis
Need horse liniment
Haiku # 74210, December 8, 2021 4:44 pm ET
by Good neighbor of Neighborhood
The balot ballet.
Dance with fertilized swan eggs.
Hard boiled, limber.
Haiku # 74207, December 8, 2021 2:26 pm ET
by Karaoke Opera
Weird old uncle Joe:
hit were YOU that abused me...
now yore PREZIDINT?
Haiku # 74206, December 8, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Ah Knowed Hit Were You of Mama Done Tole Me
If you distill me
you'll get a vial of vile.
Sell it on dark web.
Haiku # 74205, December 8, 2021 9:59 am ET
by Cousin Hillbilly-Joe Figpucker of Arkansas meth lab.
Balot scented air
freshener cracked my ass up!
That was effing gold!
Haiku # 74204, December 8, 2021 9:55 am ET
by I needed that!
Oh Darth, we love you.
We love you because you're vile,
and also quite gay.
Haiku # 74202, December 8, 2021 9:11 am ET
by Joyful, Glad, Happy, Christmasy, Pumpkin Latte of Balot Air Freshener
The price of haiku
The cost of one balot egg
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 74201, December 8, 2021 8:24 am ET
by Selection of Dollar Menu
*too
Haiku # 74200, December 8, 2021 7:27 am ET
by oops
Don't get to angry.
You might spit out your dentures.
And I'll have to laugh.
Haiku # 74199, December 8, 2021 7:27 am ET
by Goood. Goooood! I can feel that hate flow through you!
Pumpkin spice latte.
That's as gay as you can get.
"Wooo-Wooo!" Fag alert!
Haiku # 74198, December 8, 2021 7:17 am ET
by Siren noises are gay too, huh? of Lot of things are gay!
I am not that gay.
Maybe just a little bit.
I might suck a dick.

But I will never
ever eat pineapple on
pizza--that's too gay!

Airport glory hole.
Preferable meal to
Hawaiian pizza.
Haiku # 74197, December 8, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Four out of five fags agree!
Hip-hip hooray ! Yay!
Fabulous Darth is so gay!
(Just wanted to say...)
Haiku # 74196, December 8, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Brand New Day of While Sunny, Make Hay
Women without teeth
are never to be trusted.
Lies rot everything.
Haiku # 74195, December 8, 2021 4:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When my head's opened.
What strange disease rots my brain.
Skull meat on a slide.
Haiku # 74194, December 8, 2021 4:08 am ET
by Wheeee!
Let's gamble on bugs.
Beats the hell out of cock fight.
Spider vs. Roach.
Haiku # 74193, December 8, 2021 4:04 am ET
by $50
Moooo goes the brown cow.
Bark bark goes the yellow dog.
Wait, the dog's yellow?!
Haiku # 74192, December 8, 2021 3:57 am ET
by That's just wrong!
I ate the parsley.
Then gave the steak to the dog.
Uncle Jim was pissed.
Haiku # 74191, December 8, 2021 3:54 am ET
by Parsley, sage, rosemary, and time of your life.
listen, did i have
time, im distracted by the
usual suspects
Haiku # 74189, December 8, 2021 2:52 am ET
by vhs of wheres kaiser sosa now?
Say, have you ever
stood under the cameltoe
and got a wet kiss?
Haiku # 74188, December 8, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Foolishness of Xmas
VHS wrote that?
Did someone spike the Moxie?
End of year clean out
Haiku # 74187, December 7, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Toilet Paper made of of 2021 calendar
But you can't die yet
Then the show would be over
Only commercials
Haiku # 74186, December 7, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Studio Audience of Out there in the dark
Have you ever wanted to just die?
All because you're sick of counting syllables.
I mean, why the fuck bother, right?
Haiku # 74185, December 7, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by I like the idea of puppets spitting. of Nasty little puppet, you like my hand up there, don'cha?
einei meini mi
will not take a knee in this
ritual toss off...
Haiku # 74184, December 7, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by vhs
Please do not ask Darth
About "Chinese Wet-markets"
If he's been drinking...
Haiku # 74182, December 7, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Abominable Things Are In Their Vessels of Dragon People
It's all Bill Gates fault.
Terrible vengeance draws near:
Let's Wuhan his ass!
Haiku # 74181, December 7, 2021 9:28 pm ET
by "Vengeance is Mine" Sayeth Somebody
It's "gain-of-function".
Really. I am an expert.
It's the "spike proteins".
Haiku # 74180, December 7, 2021 9:24 pm ET
by We Is All Epidemiologists Now of Breathe my Sneeze
vhs watch out
that one is 5-7-6
anyways im gay
Haiku # 74179, December 7, 2021 9:19 pm ET
by cursedmints
oh for Christ sakes the
coronavirus has a
spitting image puppet...
Haiku # 74178, December 7, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by vhs
Donald Trump funded
the production of covid
at his Chinese labs.
Haiku # 74177, December 7, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by His revenge on us all.
Have you heard the news?!
Covid-HIV hybrid!
Chinese-engineered!
Haiku # 74174, December 7, 2021 2:22 pm ET
by Merry Christmas!
Did you eat breakfast.
It's the most important meal.
Balot, rice, and rum.
Haiku # 74173, December 7, 2021 11:46 am ET
by I need to get a turkey. Don't ask why.
All new variants!
Get them while they're hot! Be scared!
Jabbed-- but still at RISK !
Haiku # 74172, December 7, 2021 11:09 am ET
by This Absurd Hype brought to you by PFIZER
'Twas a huge relief!
But it wasn't really poo.
More like parasite.
Haiku # 74171, December 7, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Poo is useful. Fertilizer and such. Parasites are... parasites. of You understand, I'm sure.
I also pooed huge.
In December a while back.
Forget the date though.
Haiku # 74169, December 7, 2021 9:59 am ET
by I think it weighed in at 75 Katie Courics.
no that was me, i
was in a shitty mood
wanted to poo joke
Haiku # 74168, December 7, 2021 8:54 am ET
by vhs of silly turd ;).
Omicron's a joke.
The response to it isn't.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Haiku # 74166, December 7, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Lather, rinse, repeat. of All over again.
That's not vhs.
And I know it wasn't me.
Unless I'm insane.
Haiku # 74165, December 7, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Possible... possible. of Although... vhs is a silly bastard after he's had a beer or two. LOL
i took a huge dump
a shit that will live in
infamy. dec 7th
Haiku # 74164, December 7, 2021 1:16 am ET
by vhs
Of course I can sing.
But only when no one's near.
Figaro's my fave.
Haiku # 74163, December 6, 2021 9:49 pm ET
by Elmer Fudd's my idol.
Can you sing, Darth?
Haiku # 74162, December 6, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by sk of Darthcropolis
A brown, claw-like hand
reaches out of the toilet,
Just wants some respect
Haiku # 74161, December 6, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Urethra Franklin of Flushing, NY
A brown, claw-like hand
reaches out of the toilet,
but what does it want?
Haiku # 74160, December 6, 2021 3:47 pm ET
by It's come to take us away! NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Haiku is true news.
The rest is propaganda,
global deception.
Haiku # 74158, December 6, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Gill Bates
we all suck in life
I get my news from haikus
capitalism
Haiku # 74157, December 6, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by cursedmints
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