Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 224 Days and 77150 Haiku later...

oh for Christ sakes the
coronavirus has a
spitting image puppet...
Haiku # 74178, December 7, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by vhs
Donald Trump funded
the production of covid
at his Chinese labs.
Haiku # 74177, December 7, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by His revenge on us all.
Have you heard the news?!
Covid-HIV hybrid!
Haiku # 74174, December 7, 2021 2:22 pm ET
by Merry Christmas!
Did you eat breakfast.
It's the most important meal.
Balot, rice, and rum.
Haiku # 74173, December 7, 2021 11:46 am ET
by I need to get a turkey. Don't ask why.
All new variants!
Get them while they're hot! Be scared!
Jabbed-- but still at RISK !
Haiku # 74172, December 7, 2021 11:09 am ET
by This Absurd Hype brought to you by PFIZER
'Twas a huge relief!
But it wasn't really poo.
More like parasite.
Haiku # 74171, December 7, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Poo is useful. Fertilizer and such. Parasites are... parasites. of You understand, I'm sure.
I also pooed huge.
In December a while back.
Forget the date though.
Haiku # 74169, December 7, 2021 9:59 am ET
by I think it weighed in at 75 Katie Courics.
no that was me, i
was in a shitty mood
wanted to poo joke
Haiku # 74168, December 7, 2021 8:54 am ET
by vhs of silly turd ;).
Omicron's a joke.
The response to it isn't.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Haiku # 74166, December 7, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Lather, rinse, repeat. of All over again.
That's not vhs.
And I know it wasn't me.
Unless I'm insane.
Haiku # 74165, December 7, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Possible... possible. of Although... vhs is a silly bastard after he's had a beer or two. LOL
i took a huge dump
a shit that will live in
infamy. dec 7th
Haiku # 74164, December 7, 2021 1:16 am ET
by vhs
Of course I can sing.
But only when no one's near.
Figaro's my fave.
Haiku # 74163, December 6, 2021 9:49 pm ET
by Elmer Fudd's my idol.
Can you sing, Darth?
Haiku # 74162, December 6, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by sk of Darthcropolis
A brown, claw-like hand
reaches out of the toilet,
Just wants some respect
Haiku # 74161, December 6, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Urethra Franklin of Flushing, NY
A brown, claw-like hand
reaches out of the toilet,
but what does it want?
Haiku # 74160, December 6, 2021 3:47 pm ET
by It's come to take us away! NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Haiku is true news.
The rest is propaganda,
global deception.
Haiku # 74158, December 6, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Gill Bates
we all suck in life
I get my news from haikus
Haiku # 74157, December 6, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by cursedmints
what's scary is the
AI might write a haiku
and we think it's Darth
Haiku # 74156, December 6, 2021 12:20 pm ET
by vhs of Maine
In my opinion you are mistaken. I suggest it to discuss. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.
Haiku # 74155, December 6, 2021 8:31 am ET
by DavidScone of Saudi Arabia
wank wank wank wank wank
scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub
Haiku # 74154, December 6, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Stainislov Notkominovski of Waiting Room furniture
Cold and medical
Stainless steel, autoclaved dink
Robot Physician
Haiku # 74153, December 6, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Stain of Steel
The word "masturbate"
is so cold and medical.
Can't we just say "wank"?
Haiku # 74152, December 6, 2021 6:12 am ET
by I'd rather wank than masturbate any day!
We all one being.
We that baddest of haiku.
You cannot stop us!
Haiku # 74151, December 6, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Our powers grow stronger with each minute! of Soon the world will be ours!
We have multiple
personality syndrome
like Sybil, don't we?
Haiku # 74150, December 6, 2021 6:02 am ET
by Yes, we do! I'm glad we all agree. of Remember Sybil with Sally Fields. Freaky movie. Haven't seen it in forever.
I won't do Meta.
But I'll do Mark Zuckerberg.
Sand paper strap-on.
Haiku # 74149, December 6, 2021 5:48 am ET
by That's not virtual blood.
This site is hardly
the virtual Metaverse.
So, yeah, I post here.
Haiku # 74148, December 6, 2021 5:41 am ET
by Guilt free pumpkin pie.
I am exhausted
Yet sleep seems so far away
So I post haiku
Haiku # 74147, December 6, 2021 3:57 am ET
by And also smoke some weed? of Cozy in eternity
they are posting here
but then complain of the “here”
online infinite
Haiku # 74146, December 6, 2021 3:50 am ET
by Meta’s going to be hard for you all of Good luck in the next chapter of modernity
It is the valuable answer
Haiku # 74145, December 6, 2021 2:22 am ET
by AndrewOxils of Brunei Darussalam
Must be an echo
Was I talking to myself?
And masturbating?
Haiku # 74144, December 6, 2021 12:31 am ET
by Feeding the geese of Out in left field
Is it possible
we are all the same person
and just don't know it?
Haiku # 74143, December 5, 2021 11:57 pm ET
by Whoa! Heavy, dude. of You blew my mind!
You and "Starkitten"
Have "conversations" it seems . . .
But you're same person.
Haiku # 74142, December 5, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by Definition of Schizophrenia Vindicated
Actually, it made my crack crack a smile.
Haiku # 74141, December 5, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by Rosy cheeks with one brown eye.
Blow up Christmas trees.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
That stuff isn't snow!
Haiku # 74140, December 5, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by F Xmas! Literally!
c'mon Darth that made you crack a smile
Haiku # 74139, December 5, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by sk
New position
Inquire within now
Haiku # 74138, December 5, 2021 6:43 pm ET
by French butter of Last Tango in Paris
Free root canals from
my robot proctologist
make me have bad breath.
Haiku # 74137, December 5, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Kiss me, you fool!
My robot dentist
Offers free rectal exams
Makes me so happy
Haiku # 74136, December 5, 2021 2:56 pm ET
by Arthur Denton
Here, I'll hold your balls
You concentrate on coughing
(Robot malfunctions)

Screams and clunking sounds
Robot Physician death grip
Uprooted penis
Haiku # 74135, December 5, 2021 2:30 pm ET
by Robot of Medical Centre
you know i stuck here
for the argument and to
be accepted then.

i sort of moved on
like establishing closure
over internet, stuff
Haiku # 74134, December 5, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
I would hang myself
if I could transmit the smell
of post-mortem poo.

To think, posting farts
as easy as posting this.
Metaverse awaits!
Haiku # 74133, December 5, 2021 12:55 pm ET
by Technoseology. of "Transmitting smell-o-gram." 3, 2, 1...
Black bean and brown rice.
Spicy garlic tuna eggs.
Can I share with you?

The farts, not the food.
VR smell simulator.
Come to my "meta".
Haiku # 74132, December 5, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by This is the future! of The future is now!
I love the future.
Computers will think for us.
We write fart poems.

As we vegetate
computers decide our fate.
It's the beans I ate.

Corona virus?!
Escape with VR headset.
Order beans online.

A tube's in my ass.
It's sucking out all my gas.
Powers my PC.
Haiku # 74131, December 5, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by You're Welcome
It's karaoke.
That means: it's KARA, o.k.?
So step up and SING.
Haiku # 74129, December 4, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by I Will Blow You Away of My Shameful Humiliation
Miniscule haiku,
Intense and MASSIVE impact:
My five-seven-five.
Haiku # 74128, December 4, 2021 5:51 pm ET
by Line of Lines of URRRRRRPPP
The electric ass
Roasts your baloney like fries
And chairs your weiner.
Haiku # 74124, December 4, 2021 10:27 am ET
by Chairperson of Baloney Dept.
It's call and response.
African call and response.
That's what it is, Lord.
Haiku # 74123, December 4, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Syncopation of Aryan Nation
Elves live in my brain.
They all had diarrhea.
This haiku came out.
Haiku # 74121, December 4, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Literary septic rupture.
Darth, should I watch the new South Park?
Haiku # 74120, December 4, 2021 10:05 am ET
by your friend, Starkitten
After I wrote this
I wiped hard seventeen times
but it's still dirty.
Haiku # 74119, December 4, 2021 10:03 am ET
by OCD of PNW
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