Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

Cold and medical
Stainless steel, autoclaved dink
Robot Physician
Haiku # 74153, December 6, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Stain of Steel
The word "masturbate"
is so cold and medical.
Can't we just say "wank"?
Haiku # 74152, December 6, 2021 6:12 am ET
by I'd rather wank than masturbate any day!
We all one being.
We that baddest of haiku.
You cannot stop us!
Haiku # 74151, December 6, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Our powers grow stronger with each minute! of Soon the world will be ours!
We have multiple
personality syndrome
like Sybil, don't we?
Haiku # 74150, December 6, 2021 6:02 am ET
by Yes, we do! I'm glad we all agree. of Remember Sybil with Sally Fields. Freaky movie. Haven't seen it in forever.
I won't do Meta.
But I'll do Mark Zuckerberg.
Sand paper strap-on.
Haiku # 74149, December 6, 2021 5:48 am ET
by That's not virtual blood.
This site is hardly
the virtual Metaverse.
So, yeah, I post here.
Haiku # 74148, December 6, 2021 5:41 am ET
by Guilt free pumpkin pie.
I am exhausted
Yet sleep seems so far away
So I post haiku
Haiku # 74147, December 6, 2021 3:57 am ET
by And also smoke some weed? of Cozy in eternity
they are posting here
but then complain of the “here”
online infinite
Haiku # 74146, December 6, 2021 3:50 am ET
by Meta’s going to be hard for you all of Good luck in the next chapter of modernity
It is the valuable answer
Haiku # 74145, December 6, 2021 2:22 am ET
by AndrewOxils of Brunei Darussalam
Must be an echo
Was I talking to myself?
And masturbating?
Haiku # 74144, December 6, 2021 12:31 am ET
by Feeding the geese of Out in left field
Is it possible
we are all the same person
and just don't know it?
Haiku # 74143, December 5, 2021 11:57 pm ET
by Whoa! Heavy, dude. of You blew my mind!
You and "Starkitten"
Have "conversations" it seems . . .
But you're same person.
Haiku # 74142, December 5, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by Definition of Schizophrenia Vindicated
Actually, it made my crack crack a smile.
Haiku # 74141, December 5, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by Rosy cheeks with one brown eye.
Blow up Christmas trees.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
That stuff isn't snow!
Haiku # 74140, December 5, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by F Xmas! Literally!
c'mon Darth that made you crack a smile
Haiku # 74139, December 5, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by sk
New position
Inquire within now
Haiku # 74138, December 5, 2021 6:43 pm ET
by French butter of Last Tango in Paris
Free root canals from
my robot proctologist
make me have bad breath.
Haiku # 74137, December 5, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Kiss me, you fool!
My robot dentist
Offers free rectal exams
Makes me so happy
Haiku # 74136, December 5, 2021 2:56 pm ET
by Arthur Denton
Here, I'll hold your balls
You concentrate on coughing
(Robot malfunctions)

Screams and clunking sounds
Robot Physician death grip
Uprooted penis
Haiku # 74135, December 5, 2021 2:30 pm ET
by Robot of Medical Centre
you know i stuck here
for the argument and to
be accepted then.

i sort of moved on
like establishing closure
over internet, stuff
Haiku # 74134, December 5, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
I would hang myself
if I could transmit the smell
of post-mortem poo.

To think, posting farts
as easy as posting this.
Metaverse awaits!
Haiku # 74133, December 5, 2021 12:55 pm ET
by Technoseology. of "Transmitting smell-o-gram." 3, 2, 1...
Black bean and brown rice.
Spicy garlic tuna eggs.
Can I share with you?

The farts, not the food.
VR smell simulator.
Come to my "meta".
Haiku # 74132, December 5, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by This is the future! of The future is now!
I love the future.
Computers will think for us.
We write fart poems.

As we vegetate
computers decide our fate.
It's the beans I ate.

Corona virus?!
Escape with VR headset.
Order beans online.

A tube's in my ass.
It's sucking out all my gas.
Powers my PC.
Haiku # 74131, December 5, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by You're Welcome
It's karaoke.
That means: it's KARA, o.k.?
So step up and SING.
Haiku # 74129, December 4, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by I Will Blow You Away of My Shameful Humiliation
Miniscule haiku,
Intense and MASSIVE impact:
My five-seven-five.
Haiku # 74128, December 4, 2021 5:51 pm ET
by Line of Lines of URRRRRRPPP
The electric ass
Roasts your baloney like fries
And chairs your weiner.
Haiku # 74124, December 4, 2021 10:27 am ET
by Chairperson of Baloney Dept.
It's call and response.
African call and response.
That's what it is, Lord.
Haiku # 74123, December 4, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Syncopation of Aryan Nation
Elves live in my brain.
They all had diarrhea.
This haiku came out.
Haiku # 74121, December 4, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Literary septic rupture.
Darth, should I watch the new South Park?
Haiku # 74120, December 4, 2021 10:05 am ET
by your friend, Starkitten
After I wrote this
I wiped hard seventeen times
but it's still dirty.
Haiku # 74119, December 4, 2021 10:03 am ET
by OCD of PNW
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74118, December 4, 2021 9:57 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
Moxie, you know what?
You are way too sensitive.
But prolly good guy.
Haiku # 74117, December 4, 2021 9:55 am ET
by Allies Needed to Bully Bullies
I can suggests to
visit to you a site which
are many question.
Haiku # 74116, December 4, 2021 9:49 am ET
by Asian Bot of Needs ESOL Classes
Your haiku are bad.
Your testicles are rancid.
You're a samurai.
Haiku # 74115, December 4, 2021 9:20 am ET
by really!
Ahem: Breeze of dusk
Pale lotus floats below bridge.
Shrine lanterns lit. Burp.
Haiku # 74114, December 4, 2021 9:19 am ET
by I Wish I was Lit of But it's not 11:30 am yet...
But seriously,
Haiku's unsustainable;
Releases methane.
Haiku # 74113, December 4, 2021 9:15 am ET
by Hunter Biden of Ukrainian National Gas Board of Erectors
Hey Greta Thunberg:
your haiku is APPALLING.
Take a fucking walk.
Haiku # 74112, December 4, 2021 9:11 am ET
by But Please Do Not Swear of The Kids Are Asleep
Oh sire, dark tidings:
the foe is now at our gate
and wants ta git DOWN.
Haiku # 74111, December 4, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Bassline with Scratch Guitar of Medieval Feudalism
Ah caint git enuf
of that funky stuff. Well well.
Oh yaas chile. Funkay.
Haiku # 74110, December 4, 2021 9:06 am ET
by That 70's Voice of Ohio Players
Now haiku rages.
Now I'm a desperate poet.
Now I vomit verse.
Haiku # 74109, December 4, 2021 9:04 am ET
by Curse of Adverse Hearse Call the Nurse
I'm a get DOWN now.
ALL the way down. The boogie.
Don't fall off your shoes.

Haiku # 74108, December 4, 2021 8:59 am ET
by Kool of The Jungle
Ungh! Jungle boogie.
Hah! I gots to git down. Unh!
Ha! Shake it around.
Haiku # 74107, December 4, 2021 8:51 am ET
by That Funky Jungle Beat of 1970's Platform Shoes
Yo, it's Ladies Night!
as in "for women - not men".
Greta: "How DARE you".
Haiku # 74106, December 4, 2021 8:49 am ET
by Cisgender Bigot of Count Your Chromosomes
I am Tom Bosley.
You, as well, are Tom Bosely.
In Tom, we are one.
Haiku # 74105, December 4, 2021 8:45 am ET
by One Male Organ, that is of Even the Ladies Too
Oh Joy! Haiku love
Is dripping all over me.
I might need a towel...
Haiku # 74104, December 4, 2021 8:42 am ET
by Dizzying Heights of Haiku (almost got arrested)
Yay! It's a new day !
To say "hey", to play, and pray
that Darth would stay gay.
Haiku # 74103, December 4, 2021 8:19 am ET
by Meaning, of course, filled with carefree delight of Wearing Studded Black Leather With a Glitter Dog Leash Around His Fabulous
Anthony Weiner:
Got roasted by a laptop
Between Huma's buns.
Haiku # 74102, December 4, 2021 8:08 am ET
by He Wrote, With Relish of Frankfurt, Zimbabwe with Onions
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74101, December 4, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
None of this matters
Why do we even bother?
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74100, December 3, 2021 11:54 pm ET
by Now In Zesty Ranch Flavor
None of this matters
why do we even bother
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74099, December 3, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Back again and even fresher than before
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