Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 217 Days and 77133 Haiku later...

Your haiku are bad.
Your testicles are rancid.
You're a samurai.
Haiku # 74115, December 4, 2021 9:20 am ET
by really!
Ahem: Breeze of dusk
Pale lotus floats below bridge.
Shrine lanterns lit. Burp.
Haiku # 74114, December 4, 2021 9:19 am ET
by I Wish I was Lit of But it's not 11:30 am yet...
But seriously,
Haiku's unsustainable;
Releases methane.
Haiku # 74113, December 4, 2021 9:15 am ET
by Hunter Biden of Ukrainian National Gas Board of Erectors
Hey Greta Thunberg:
your haiku is APPALLING.
Take a fucking walk.
Haiku # 74112, December 4, 2021 9:11 am ET
by But Please Do Not Swear of The Kids Are Asleep
Oh sire, dark tidings:
the foe is now at our gate
and wants ta git DOWN.
Haiku # 74111, December 4, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Bassline with Scratch Guitar of Medieval Feudalism
Ah caint git enuf
of that funky stuff. Well well.
Oh yaas chile. Funkay.
Haiku # 74110, December 4, 2021 9:06 am ET
by That 70's Voice of Ohio Players
Now haiku rages.
Now I'm a desperate poet.
Now I vomit verse.
Haiku # 74109, December 4, 2021 9:04 am ET
by Curse of Adverse Hearse Call the Nurse
I'm a get DOWN now.
ALL the way down. The boogie.
Don't fall off your shoes.


Haiku # 74108, December 4, 2021 8:59 am ET
by Kool of The Jungle
Ungh! Jungle boogie.
Hah! I gots to git down. Unh!
Ha! Shake it around.
Haiku # 74107, December 4, 2021 8:51 am ET
by That Funky Jungle Beat of 1970's Platform Shoes
Yo, it's Ladies Night!
as in "for women - not men".
Greta: "How DARE you".
Haiku # 74106, December 4, 2021 8:49 am ET
by Cisgender Bigot of Count Your Chromosomes
I am Tom Bosley.
You, as well, are Tom Bosely.
In Tom, we are one.
Haiku # 74105, December 4, 2021 8:45 am ET
by One Male Organ, that is of Even the Ladies Too
Oh Joy! Haiku love
Is dripping all over me.
I might need a towel...
Haiku # 74104, December 4, 2021 8:42 am ET
by Dizzying Heights of Haiku (almost got arrested)
Yay! It's a new day !
To say "hey", to play, and pray
that Darth would stay gay.
Haiku # 74103, December 4, 2021 8:19 am ET
by Meaning, of course, filled with carefree delight of Wearing Studded Black Leather With a Glitter Dog Leash Around His Fabulous
Anthony Weiner:
Got roasted by a laptop
Between Huma's buns.
Haiku # 74102, December 4, 2021 8:08 am ET
by He Wrote, With Relish of Frankfurt, Zimbabwe with Onions
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74101, December 4, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
None of this matters
Why do we even bother?
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74100, December 3, 2021 11:54 pm ET
by Now In Zesty Ranch Flavor
None of this matters
why do we even bother
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74099, December 3, 2021 9:59 pm ET
by Back again and even fresher than before
That Merri Clayton.
Sang so hard she miscarried.
She needed shelter.
Haiku # 74098, December 3, 2021 8:58 pm ET
by Too Much 70s Music
Came out from closet
The 1.69 Gaycraft
In this date, it's cool.
Haiku # 74097, December 3, 2021 7:56 pm ET
by So many genders to choose from!
Came out days ago
The 1.18 Minecraft
Update and it's cool
Haiku # 74096, December 3, 2021 11:42 am ET
by cursedmints
Back-end dream catcher
Charcoal infused underwear
You'll be popular!
Haiku # 74095, December 3, 2021 8:46 am ET
by Downwinder Patel of Kakastain
Discord and chaos.
Imperfect vulgarities.
Megs are not dinos.

Except Meg Ryan.
She's a Bangajoosipus.
I would dig her bones.
Haiku # 74091, December 2, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Paleontologistic Phenominal Phenomenon.
Megalodon dung
steaming like Christmas pudding
Get figgywith it!
Haiku # 74090, December 2, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Fignacious D. of Figippines
Have you ever thought
about the experience
of stepping in shit?
Haiku # 74089, December 2, 2021 8:25 pm ET
by Kaka of dinosaurs
If you know the word
'deplorable,' then you are
not a hillbilly.
Haiku # 74088, December 2, 2021 7:12 pm ET
by I am plorable. You can plore me all night long.
I'm jest a old DUNCE.
Dee-plorable hillbilly.
That shore is ME. Burppp . . .
Haiku # 74087, December 2, 2021 5:11 pm ET
by Linguistics Department Head of Great Smoky Mountains, Praise Jeeesis
The phaseless peasant is peed to crotch ({!})
Haiku # 74086, December 2, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Maximum Maxims of Minnie Mice
The crotchless pheasant, is phased to pee >:-(
Haiku # 74085, December 2, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by The Omigod virus.
The matchless phrase, is pleasant to me :)
Haiku # 74084, December 2, 2021 10:51 am ET
by HectorCax of Costa Rica
Don't play out of tune.
But would you go to the moon
for a Lorna Doone?
Haiku # 74083, December 2, 2021 6:41 am ET
by I wouldn't. They are bland. of Blast from the past.
If you lift your kilt
I'll play a little number
on your old bagpipes
Haiku # 74082, December 1, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Lorna of Doonebuggy
Would you let me walk
across your kitchen table
like the cats in France?
Haiku # 74081, December 1, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by brush of whisker
Kidnap rich children?
Sell nuns' blood to satanists?
Onling Zoom classes?

Oh, here's a good one:
Catnip fragrance cat litter.
But will you use it?
Haiku # 74079, December 1, 2021 1:17 pm ET
by Oh, I know, you've started an OnlyFans page. :-O
I think you're saying
only the toilet's fullfilled
by me, no one else.
Haiku # 74078, December 1, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Good one! of It fullfilled and filled full.
I've been away, Darth
for my new business venture
Haiku does not pay
Haiku # 74077, December 1, 2021 1:11 pm ET
by Millionairekitten of PNW
the only spot some will
fillfill is the poo they sit
whilst feeding herr john
Haiku # 74076, December 1, 2021 11:53 am ET
by vhs
Things are so quiet.
Did you take some "edibles"?
Staring at your shoe?

I think you should try
some medicinal cocaine.
Santa's elves do it.
Haiku # 74074, December 1, 2021 9:40 am ET
by Think about it!
That's not a problem.
I often have my pants down.
I should wear a kilt.
Haiku # 74073, December 1, 2021 7:22 am ET
by But I effing can't stand bagpipes.
The SpaceX Raptor
Rocket engines burn methane.
Great minds stink alike.
Haiku # 74072, December 1, 2021 7:20 am ET
by I wish my last name was Musk. of I'd be extra stinky. Deodorant is like soooo last year.
It'll happen fast.
You'll get caught with your pants down.
Like that Pompeii dude
Haiku # 74071, December 1, 2021 1:59 am ET
by echo of lavatory
Uh oh, we're all doomed.
It was inevitable.
I just hope it's fast.
Haiku # 74070, December 1, 2021 12:35 am ET
by You'll see.
That wasn't Jesus.
Christ doesn't have a Great Dane
It was Shaggy Doo
Haiku # 74069, November 30, 2021 10:59 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Jesus spoke to me.
He said I should forgive you.
Then He changed His mind.
Haiku # 74068, November 30, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by He sees all!
Are you horrible?
If not, would you like to be?
If so, then prove it.
Haiku # 74067, November 30, 2021 3:51 pm ET
by Pics or it didn't happen.
For high blood pressure
beat up some homeless people
and take their money.

Do it six p.m.
They'll have lots of cash by then.
And you can get drunk.
Haiku # 74066, November 30, 2021 1:25 pm ET
by Follow me on twiiter for health advice and extra income opportunities.
Darth's secretary
I could fill this position
and a few others
Haiku # 74065, November 30, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Flexibility of double jointed (polydactyl)
fractalized anus
got the old blood pressure game
keeping me eyes on.
Haiku # 74064, November 30, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by vhs
Have you watched Elmo?
I mean REALLY watched Elmo?
He's a dirty prick!
Haiku # 74063, November 30, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Noticer of Muppets
Uninvited guest.
Latte art competition.
Porno caffeine swirls.
Haiku # 74062, November 30, 2021 11:03 am ET
by First prize!
Brownian motion
dictates the zeros of the
Riemann conjecture.

Sat nude on scanner.
Digitized my hairy ass.
Fractalized anus.

Colors cycling.
Ate some LSD and watched.
Brownian motion.
Haiku # 74061, November 30, 2021 9:38 am ET
by Star Kitten understands.
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