Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 255 Days and 77188 Haiku later...

I'm jest a old DUNCE.
Dee-plorable hillbilly.
That shore is ME. Burppp . . .
Haiku # 74087, December 2, 2021 5:11 pm ET
by Linguistics Department Head of Great Smoky Mountains, Praise Jeeesis
The phaseless peasant is peed to crotch ({!})
Haiku # 74086, December 2, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Maximum Maxims of Minnie Mice
The crotchless pheasant, is phased to pee >:-(
Haiku # 74085, December 2, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by The Omigod virus.
The matchless phrase, is pleasant to me :)
Haiku # 74084, December 2, 2021 10:51 am ET
by HectorCax of Costa Rica
Don't play out of tune.
But would you go to the moon
for a Lorna Doone?
Haiku # 74083, December 2, 2021 6:41 am ET
by I wouldn't. They are bland. of Blast from the past.
If you lift your kilt
I'll play a little number
on your old bagpipes
Haiku # 74082, December 1, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by Lorna of Doonebuggy
Would you let me walk
across your kitchen table
like the cats in France?
Haiku # 74081, December 1, 2021 7:14 pm ET
by brush of whisker
Kidnap rich children?
Sell nuns' blood to satanists?
Onling Zoom classes?

Oh, here's a good one:
Catnip fragrance cat litter.
But will you use it?
Haiku # 74079, December 1, 2021 1:17 pm ET
by Oh, I know, you've started an OnlyFans page. :-O
I think you're saying
only the toilet's fullfilled
by me, no one else.
Haiku # 74078, December 1, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Good one! of It fullfilled and filled full.
I've been away, Darth
for my new business venture
Haiku does not pay
Haiku # 74077, December 1, 2021 1:11 pm ET
by Millionairekitten of PNW
the only spot some will
fillfill is the poo they sit
whilst feeding herr john
Haiku # 74076, December 1, 2021 11:53 am ET
by vhs
Things are so quiet.
Did you take some "edibles"?
Staring at your shoe?

I think you should try
some medicinal cocaine.
Santa's elves do it.
Haiku # 74074, December 1, 2021 9:40 am ET
by Think about it!
That's not a problem.
I often have my pants down.
I should wear a kilt.
Haiku # 74073, December 1, 2021 7:22 am ET
by But I effing can't stand bagpipes.
The SpaceX Raptor
Rocket engines burn methane.
Great minds stink alike.
Haiku # 74072, December 1, 2021 7:20 am ET
by I wish my last name was Musk. of I'd be extra stinky. Deodorant is like soooo last year.
It'll happen fast.
You'll get caught with your pants down.
Like that Pompeii dude
Haiku # 74071, December 1, 2021 1:59 am ET
by echo of lavatory
Uh oh, we're all doomed.
It was inevitable.
I just hope it's fast.
Haiku # 74070, December 1, 2021 12:35 am ET
by You'll see.
That wasn't Jesus.
Christ doesn't have a Great Dane
It was Shaggy Doo
Haiku # 74069, November 30, 2021 10:59 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Jesus spoke to me.
He said I should forgive you.
Then He changed His mind.
Haiku # 74068, November 30, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by He sees all!
Are you horrible?
If not, would you like to be?
If so, then prove it.
Haiku # 74067, November 30, 2021 3:51 pm ET
by Pics or it didn't happen.
For high blood pressure
beat up some homeless people
and take their money.

Do it six p.m.
They'll have lots of cash by then.
And you can get drunk.
Haiku # 74066, November 30, 2021 1:25 pm ET
by Follow me on twiiter for health advice and extra income opportunities.
Darth's secretary
I could fill this position
and a few others
Haiku # 74065, November 30, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Flexibility of double jointed (polydactyl)
fractalized anus
got the old blood pressure game
keeping me eyes on.
Haiku # 74064, November 30, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by vhs
Have you watched Elmo?
I mean REALLY watched Elmo?
He's a dirty prick!
Haiku # 74063, November 30, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Noticer of Muppets
Uninvited guest.
Latte art competition.
Porno caffeine swirls.
Haiku # 74062, November 30, 2021 11:03 am ET
by First prize!
Brownian motion
dictates the zeros of the
Riemann conjecture.

Sat nude on scanner.
Digitized my hairy ass.
Fractalized anus.

Colors cycling.
Ate some LSD and watched.
Brownian motion.
Haiku # 74061, November 30, 2021 9:38 am ET
by Star Kitten understands.
I am going to poop.
When I'm done I'll wipe and flush.
Then tell my parents.
Haiku # 74059, November 30, 2021 7:32 am ET
by Big Boy
Kim Kardashian
had sex with Joe Biden's son
and now she's pregnant.
Haiku # 74058, November 30, 2021 7:28 am ET
by Walter Crankite
Bad haiku is Truth.
The rest is lies and fake news.
Stay well- informed here.
Haiku # 74055, November 29, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Walter Cronkite of B&W TV with 6 channels
World New Through Haiku.
Better than the crap on Fox.
And CNN too.
Haiku # 74054, November 29, 2021 7:35 pm ET
by But we need more info on the Kardashians and who they are sleeping with. of The important stuff.
Ghislaine's trial begins.
Submarine lady's defense:
"I own the high seas"
Haiku # 74053, November 29, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by Lock The Mossad Agent Up !
PornHub variant.
Your leaky videos leaked.
But no one will watch.
Haiku # 74052, November 29, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by Ewwww!
Omigod Variant:
makes girls text emoticons
Haiku # 74051, November 29, 2021 11:28 am ET
by Epsilon of Upsilon
Leftover variant,
Spread by transgender turkeys.
Be VERY scared, NOW.
Haiku # 74050, November 29, 2021 10:59 am ET
by Endless Variations of Variants (brought to you by PFIZER)
Time to get out there
and spread my insanity
to the real world now.
Haiku # 74046, November 29, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Air borne mad cow. of The bovitrooper variant! Oh no!
"Omicron"?! Really?!?!
It's a fucking Transformer.
Or a transgender.
Haiku # 74045, November 29, 2021 7:11 am ET
by What happend to epsilon through xi? of Why did we just jump through the Greek alphabet? Can't even go in order. How stupid are we now?
It all depends on
how long you will keep in the
freezer, delicious.
Haiku # 74044, November 29, 2021 6:50 am ET
by Hannibal Lecter
I want someone to
See me and see someone worth
Keeping forever.
Haiku # 74042, November 29, 2021 6:25 am ET
by Cat of Sun
How bout the gizzards?
Did you have pumpkin pie, Darth?
Darthvember darthteenth
Haiku # 74036, November 29, 2021 12:29 am ET
by Rezkitten of Rez
Can we just agree
that turkey and dressing rule?
What do you all say?
Haiku # 74033, November 28, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Darth Pilgrim
They will not prevail.
God did not intend for us
to live online. Nope...
Haiku # 74031, November 28, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by There Will Be An Event of Biblical Significance
this is such a weird
interconnected group of
internet people

like, this is so niche
and we always disagree
on like everything
Haiku # 74030, November 28, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by cursedmints of love you guys?
I wish I could fly
but they painted me up here
I'd shit on your heads!
Haiku # 74029, November 28, 2021 8:30 pm ET
by Spokesgull of Seagulls Against Poetry
I found a bottle
It contained an ancient message...
Hey, go fuck yourself...
Haiku # 74028, November 28, 2021 8:12 pm ET
by Ebb of Tide
Yeah, Zuckerberg and
Bezos are worst of the worst.
We should live online?!
Haiku # 74027, November 28, 2021 8:01 pm ET
by This future is really looking awful. of By the way, watch the new South Park.
I like when you preach
against the technocracy
whoever you are.
Haiku # 74024, November 28, 2021 6:28 pm ET
by I'm With You 100% On This One of Bezos Zuckerberg's Mommy
Squirrels beat rats. Yep.
Nothing like dead sewer rats
flattened in the street.
Haiku # 74023, November 28, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Manila
Well, I guess for once
it's good that we did not have...
umm... Scotch on the rocks.
Haiku # 74022, November 28, 2021 5:53 pm ET
by Rum is better anyway.
All these tech giants
thrive off disconnectedness
and fear of the world.

Giants like Gates, Jobs,
Musk, Zuckerberg, Bezos, and
the evil Janis.
Haiku # 74021, November 28, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Ahem.
did not have right gear
needed longer static ropes
but my anchor held
Haiku # 74017, November 28, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by scotch of not dead yet
yeah! love that album
undeservedly obscure
gets zero airplay
Haiku # 74016, November 28, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by scotch
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