Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 224 Days and 77150 Haiku later...

wank wank wank wank wank
wank Wank WANK CLANK CLUNK CLANK!
scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub
Haiku # 74154, December 6, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Stainislov Notkominovski of Waiting Room furniture
Cold and medical
Stainless steel, autoclaved dink
Robot Physician
Haiku # 74153, December 6, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Stain of Steel
The word "masturbate"
is so cold and medical.
Can't we just say "wank"?
Haiku # 74152, December 6, 2021 6:12 am ET
by I'd rather wank than masturbate any day!
We all one being.
We that baddest of haiku.
You cannot stop us!
Haiku # 74151, December 6, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Our powers grow stronger with each minute! of Soon the world will be ours!
We have multiple
personality syndrome
like Sybil, don't we?
Haiku # 74150, December 6, 2021 6:02 am ET
by Yes, we do! I'm glad we all agree. of Remember Sybil with Sally Fields. Freaky movie. Haven't seen it in forever.
I won't do Meta.
But I'll do Mark Zuckerberg.
Sand paper strap-on.
Haiku # 74149, December 6, 2021 5:48 am ET
by That's not virtual blood.
This site is hardly
the virtual Metaverse.
So, yeah, I post here.
Haiku # 74148, December 6, 2021 5:41 am ET
by Guilt free pumpkin pie.
I am exhausted
Yet sleep seems so far away
So I post haiku
Haiku # 74147, December 6, 2021 3:57 am ET
by And also smoke some weed? of Cozy in eternity
they are posting here
but then complain of the “here”
online infinite
Haiku # 74146, December 6, 2021 3:50 am ET
by Meta’s going to be hard for you all of Good luck in the next chapter of modernity
It is the valuable answer
Haiku # 74145, December 6, 2021 2:22 am ET
by AndrewOxils of Brunei Darussalam
Must be an echo
Was I talking to myself?
And masturbating?
Haiku # 74144, December 6, 2021 12:31 am ET
by Feeding the geese of Out in left field
Is it possible
we are all the same person
and just don't know it?
Haiku # 74143, December 5, 2021 11:57 pm ET
by Whoa! Heavy, dude. of You blew my mind!
You and "Starkitten"
Have "conversations" it seems . . .
But you're same person.
Haiku # 74142, December 5, 2021 9:09 pm ET
by Definition of Schizophrenia Vindicated
Actually, it made my crack crack a smile.
Haiku # 74141, December 5, 2021 8:10 pm ET
by Rosy cheeks with one brown eye.
Blow up Christmas trees.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
That stuff isn't snow!
Haiku # 74140, December 5, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by F Xmas! Literally!
c'mon Darth that made you crack a smile
Haiku # 74139, December 5, 2021 6:45 pm ET
by sk
New position
Anusthesiologist
Inquire within now
Haiku # 74138, December 5, 2021 6:43 pm ET
by French butter of Last Tango in Paris
Free root canals from
my robot proctologist
make me have bad breath.
Haiku # 74137, December 5, 2021 5:35 pm ET
by Kiss me, you fool!
My robot dentist
Offers free rectal exams
Makes me so happy
Haiku # 74136, December 5, 2021 2:56 pm ET
by Arthur Denton
Here, I'll hold your balls
You concentrate on coughing
(Robot malfunctions)

Screams and clunking sounds
Robot Physician death grip
Uprooted penis
Haiku # 74135, December 5, 2021 2:30 pm ET
by Robot of Medical Centre
you know i stuck here
for the argument and to
be accepted then.

i sort of moved on
like establishing closure
over internet, stuff
Haiku # 74134, December 5, 2021 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
I would hang myself
if I could transmit the smell
of post-mortem poo.

To think, posting farts
as easy as posting this.
Metaverse awaits!
Haiku # 74133, December 5, 2021 12:55 pm ET
by Technoseology. of "Transmitting smell-o-gram." 3, 2, 1...
Black bean and brown rice.
Spicy garlic tuna eggs.
Can I share with you?

The farts, not the food.
VR smell simulator.
Come to my "meta".
Haiku # 74132, December 5, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by This is the future! of The future is now!
I love the future.
Computers will think for us.
We write fart poems.

As we vegetate
computers decide our fate.
It's the beans I ate.

Corona virus?!
Escape with VR headset.
Order beans online.

A tube's in my ass.
It's sucking out all my gas.
Powers my PC.
Haiku # 74131, December 5, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by You're Welcome
It's karaoke.
That means: it's KARA, o.k.?
So step up and SING.
Haiku # 74129, December 4, 2021 7:50 pm ET
by I Will Blow You Away of My Shameful Humiliation
Miniscule haiku,
Intense and MASSIVE impact:
My five-seven-five.
Haiku # 74128, December 4, 2021 5:51 pm ET
by Line of Lines of URRRRRRPPP
The electric ass
Roasts your baloney like fries
And chairs your weiner.
Haiku # 74124, December 4, 2021 10:27 am ET
by Chairperson of Baloney Dept.
It's call and response.
African call and response.
That's what it is, Lord.
Haiku # 74123, December 4, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Syncopation of Aryan Nation
Elves live in my brain.
They all had diarrhea.
This haiku came out.
Haiku # 74121, December 4, 2021 10:11 am ET
by Literary septic rupture.
Darth, should I watch the new South Park?
Haiku # 74120, December 4, 2021 10:05 am ET
by your friend, Starkitten
After I wrote this
I wiped hard seventeen times
but it's still dirty.
Haiku # 74119, December 4, 2021 10:03 am ET
by OCD of PNW
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74118, December 4, 2021 9:57 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
Moxie, you know what?
You are way too sensitive.
But prolly good guy.
Haiku # 74117, December 4, 2021 9:55 am ET
by Allies Needed to Bully Bullies
I can suggests to
visit to you a site which
are many question.
Haiku # 74116, December 4, 2021 9:49 am ET
by Asian Bot of Needs ESOL Classes
Your haiku are bad.
Your testicles are rancid.
You're a samurai.
Haiku # 74115, December 4, 2021 9:20 am ET
by really!
Ahem: Breeze of dusk
Pale lotus floats below bridge.
Shrine lanterns lit. Burp.
Haiku # 74114, December 4, 2021 9:19 am ET
by I Wish I was Lit of But it's not 11:30 am yet...
But seriously,
Haiku's unsustainable;
Releases methane.
Haiku # 74113, December 4, 2021 9:15 am ET
by Hunter Biden of Ukrainian National Gas Board of Erectors
Hey Greta Thunberg:
your haiku is APPALLING.
Take a fucking walk.
Haiku # 74112, December 4, 2021 9:11 am ET
by But Please Do Not Swear of The Kids Are Asleep
Oh sire, dark tidings:
the foe is now at our gate
and wants ta git DOWN.
Haiku # 74111, December 4, 2021 9:09 am ET
by Bassline with Scratch Guitar of Medieval Feudalism
Ah caint git enuf
of that funky stuff. Well well.
Oh yaas chile. Funkay.
Haiku # 74110, December 4, 2021 9:06 am ET
by That 70's Voice of Ohio Players
Now haiku rages.
Now I'm a desperate poet.
Now I vomit verse.
Haiku # 74109, December 4, 2021 9:04 am ET
by Curse of Adverse Hearse Call the Nurse
I'm a get DOWN now.
ALL the way down. The boogie.
Don't fall off your shoes.


Haiku # 74108, December 4, 2021 8:59 am ET
by Kool of The Jungle
Ungh! Jungle boogie.
Hah! I gots to git down. Unh!
Ha! Shake it around.
Haiku # 74107, December 4, 2021 8:51 am ET
by That Funky Jungle Beat of 1970's Platform Shoes
Yo, it's Ladies Night!
as in "for women - not men".
Greta: "How DARE you".
Haiku # 74106, December 4, 2021 8:49 am ET
by Cisgender Bigot of Count Your Chromosomes
I am Tom Bosley.
You, as well, are Tom Bosely.
In Tom, we are one.
Haiku # 74105, December 4, 2021 8:45 am ET
by One Male Organ, that is of Even the Ladies Too
Oh Joy! Haiku love
Is dripping all over me.
I might need a towel...
Haiku # 74104, December 4, 2021 8:42 am ET
by Dizzying Heights of Haiku (almost got arrested)
Yay! It's a new day !
To say "hey", to play, and pray
that Darth would stay gay.
Haiku # 74103, December 4, 2021 8:19 am ET
by Meaning, of course, filled with carefree delight of Wearing Studded Black Leather With a Glitter Dog Leash Around His Fabulous
Anthony Weiner:
Got roasted by a laptop
Between Huma's buns.
Haiku # 74102, December 4, 2021 8:08 am ET
by He Wrote, With Relish of Frankfurt, Zimbabwe with Onions
The electric chair
fries your ass like baloney
and roasts your weiner
Haiku # 74101, December 4, 2021 1:23 am ET
by Reddy Kilowatt of Power Lunch
None of this matters
Why do we even bother?
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74100, December 3, 2021 11:54 pm ET
by Now In Zesty Ranch Flavor
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