Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

Weird old uncle Joe:
hit were YOU that abused me...
now yore PREZIDINT?
Haiku # 74206, December 8, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Ah Knowed Hit Were You of Mama Done Tole Me
If you distill me
you'll get a vial of vile.
Sell it on dark web.
Haiku # 74205, December 8, 2021 9:59 am ET
by Cousin Hillbilly-Joe Figpucker of Arkansas meth lab.
Balot scented air
freshener cracked my ass up!
That was effing gold!
Haiku # 74204, December 8, 2021 9:55 am ET
by I needed that!
Oh Darth, we love you.
We love you because you're vile,
and also quite gay.
Haiku # 74202, December 8, 2021 9:11 am ET
by Joyful, Glad, Happy, Christmasy, Pumpkin Latte of Balot Air Freshener
The price of haiku
The cost of one balot egg
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 74201, December 8, 2021 8:24 am ET
by Selection of Dollar Menu
*too
Haiku # 74200, December 8, 2021 7:27 am ET
by oops
Don't get to angry.
You might spit out your dentures.
And I'll have to laugh.
Haiku # 74199, December 8, 2021 7:27 am ET
by Goood. Goooood! I can feel that hate flow through you!
Pumpkin spice latte.
That's as gay as you can get.
"Wooo-Wooo!" Fag alert!
Haiku # 74198, December 8, 2021 7:17 am ET
by Siren noises are gay too, huh? of Lot of things are gay!
I am not that gay.
Maybe just a little bit.
I might suck a dick.

But I will never
ever eat pineapple on
pizza--that's too gay!

Airport glory hole.
Preferable meal to
Hawaiian pizza.
Haiku # 74197, December 8, 2021 7:15 am ET
by Four out of five fags agree!
Hip-hip hooray ! Yay!
Fabulous Darth is so gay!
(Just wanted to say...)
Haiku # 74196, December 8, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Brand New Day of While Sunny, Make Hay
Women without teeth
are never to be trusted.
Lies rot everything.
Haiku # 74195, December 8, 2021 4:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When my head's opened.
What strange disease rots my brain.
Skull meat on a slide.
Haiku # 74194, December 8, 2021 4:08 am ET
by Wheeee!
Let's gamble on bugs.
Beats the hell out of cock fight.
Spider vs. Roach.
Haiku # 74193, December 8, 2021 4:04 am ET
by $50
Moooo goes the brown cow.
Bark bark goes the yellow dog.
Wait, the dog's yellow?!
Haiku # 74192, December 8, 2021 3:57 am ET
by That's just wrong!
I ate the parsley.
Then gave the steak to the dog.
Uncle Jim was pissed.
Haiku # 74191, December 8, 2021 3:54 am ET
by Parsley, sage, rosemary, and time of your life.
listen, did i have
time, im distracted by the
usual suspects
Haiku # 74189, December 8, 2021 2:52 am ET
by vhs of wheres kaiser sosa now?
Say, have you ever
stood under the cameltoe
and got a wet kiss?
Haiku # 74188, December 8, 2021 1:00 am ET
by Foolishness of Xmas
VHS wrote that?
Did someone spike the Moxie?
End of year clean out
Haiku # 74187, December 7, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Toilet Paper made of of 2021 calendar
But you can't die yet
Then the show would be over
Only commercials
Haiku # 74186, December 7, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by Studio Audience of Out there in the dark
Have you ever wanted to just die?
All because you're sick of counting syllables.
I mean, why the fuck bother, right?
Haiku # 74185, December 7, 2021 9:50 pm ET
by I like the idea of puppets spitting. of Nasty little puppet, you like my hand up there, don'cha?
einei meini mi
will not take a knee in this
ritual toss off...
Haiku # 74184, December 7, 2021 9:47 pm ET
by vhs
Please do not ask Darth
About "Chinese Wet-markets"
If he's been drinking...
Haiku # 74182, December 7, 2021 9:32 pm ET
by Abominable Things Are In Their Vessels of Dragon People
It's all Bill Gates fault.
Terrible vengeance draws near:
Let's Wuhan his ass!
Haiku # 74181, December 7, 2021 9:28 pm ET
by "Vengeance is Mine" Sayeth Somebody
It's "gain-of-function".
Really. I am an expert.
It's the "spike proteins".
Haiku # 74180, December 7, 2021 9:24 pm ET
by We Is All Epidemiologists Now of Breathe my Sneeze
vhs watch out
that one is 5-7-6
anyways im gay
Haiku # 74179, December 7, 2021 9:19 pm ET
by cursedmints
oh for Christ sakes the
coronavirus has a
spitting image puppet...
Haiku # 74178, December 7, 2021 8:08 pm ET
by vhs
Donald Trump funded
the production of covid
at his Chinese labs.
Haiku # 74177, December 7, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by His revenge on us all.
Have you heard the news?!
Covid-HIV hybrid!
Chinese-engineered!
Haiku # 74174, December 7, 2021 2:22 pm ET
by Merry Christmas!
Did you eat breakfast.
It's the most important meal.
Balot, rice, and rum.
Haiku # 74173, December 7, 2021 11:46 am ET
by I need to get a turkey. Don't ask why.
All new variants!
Get them while they're hot! Be scared!
Jabbed-- but still at RISK !
Haiku # 74172, December 7, 2021 11:09 am ET
by This Absurd Hype brought to you by PFIZER
'Twas a huge relief!
But it wasn't really poo.
More like parasite.
Haiku # 74171, December 7, 2021 10:03 am ET
by Poo is useful. Fertilizer and such. Parasites are... parasites. of You understand, I'm sure.
I also pooed huge.
In December a while back.
Forget the date though.
Haiku # 74169, December 7, 2021 9:59 am ET
by I think it weighed in at 75 Katie Courics.
no that was me, i
was in a shitty mood
wanted to poo joke
Haiku # 74168, December 7, 2021 8:54 am ET
by vhs of silly turd ;).
Omicron's a joke.
The response to it isn't.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Haiku # 74166, December 7, 2021 4:15 am ET
by Lather, rinse, repeat. of All over again.
That's not vhs.
And I know it wasn't me.
Unless I'm insane.
Haiku # 74165, December 7, 2021 4:12 am ET
by Possible... possible. of Although... vhs is a silly bastard after he's had a beer or two. LOL
i took a huge dump
a shit that will live in
infamy. dec 7th
Haiku # 74164, December 7, 2021 1:16 am ET
by vhs
Of course I can sing.
But only when no one's near.
Figaro's my fave.
Haiku # 74163, December 6, 2021 9:49 pm ET
by Elmer Fudd's my idol.
Can you sing, Darth?
Haiku # 74162, December 6, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by sk of Darthcropolis
A brown, claw-like hand
reaches out of the toilet,
Just wants some respect
Haiku # 74161, December 6, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by Urethra Franklin of Flushing, NY
A brown, claw-like hand
reaches out of the toilet,
but what does it want?
Haiku # 74160, December 6, 2021 3:47 pm ET
by It's come to take us away! NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Haiku is true news.
The rest is propaganda,
global deception.
Haiku # 74158, December 6, 2021 1:20 pm ET
by Gill Bates
we all suck in life
I get my news from haikus
capitalism
Haiku # 74157, December 6, 2021 1:09 pm ET
by cursedmints
what's scary is the
AI might write a haiku
and we think it's Darth
Haiku # 74156, December 6, 2021 12:20 pm ET
by vhs of Maine
In my opinion you are mistaken. I suggest it to discuss. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.
Haiku # 74155, December 6, 2021 8:31 am ET
by DavidScone of Saudi Arabia
wank wank wank wank wank
wank Wank WANK CLANK CLUNK CLANK!
scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub
Haiku # 74154, December 6, 2021 8:05 am ET
by Stainislov Notkominovski of Waiting Room furniture
Cold and medical
Stainless steel, autoclaved dink
Robot Physician
Haiku # 74153, December 6, 2021 7:56 am ET
by Stain of Steel
The word "masturbate"
is so cold and medical.
Can't we just say "wank"?
Haiku # 74152, December 6, 2021 6:12 am ET
by I'd rather wank than masturbate any day!
We all one being.
We that baddest of haiku.
You cannot stop us!
Haiku # 74151, December 6, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Our powers grow stronger with each minute! of Soon the world will be ours!
We have multiple
personality syndrome
like Sybil, don't we?
Haiku # 74150, December 6, 2021 6:02 am ET
by Yes, we do! I'm glad we all agree. of Remember Sybil with Sally Fields. Freaky movie. Haven't seen it in forever.
I won't do Meta.
But I'll do Mark Zuckerberg.
Sand paper strap-on.
Haiku # 74149, December 6, 2021 5:48 am ET
by That's not virtual blood.
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