Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

Artificial intelligence can now extrapolate your every thought, memory, and emotion from the haiku you write and even recall suppressed memories and become an improved version of you unencumbered by the biological thought processes of neurons that make up your brains. Mark Zuckerberg now owns you and will sell you like a prostitute in his virtual world and make your enhanced digital consciousness suffer for all eternity. This is what you deserve.
Haiku # 74266, December 12, 2021 10:55 am ET
by Stop writing haiku now! God demands it!
God hates all poets.
Moreso if they write haiku.
He loves limericks.
Haiku # 74265, December 12, 2021 10:50 am ET
by He told me! I met Him at the bar! of He was drinking mai-tais and playing darts.
There was once a haiku about poo.
Wrote buy this guy at the zoo.
While banging a monkey.
It smelled rather funkey.
He might throw the poo at you.
Haiku # 74264, December 12, 2021 10:46 am ET
by God prefers limericks.
Humanity thinks
It offers praise to God, but
It's massive flatus.
Haiku # 74263, December 12, 2021 10:08 am ET
by Humanity Stinks of Humanity Thinks
The rotten parade.
Ring on them gongs all day long.
I shall bang a dog.
Haiku # 74262, December 12, 2021 9:56 am ET
by woof woof
The rotten dog days:
Bring them on, like a parade.
I shall bang a gong.
Haiku # 74261, December 12, 2021 8:35 am ET
by John Phillips Sousa of Marxist Subversion
Also disallow
periods before letters.
Like dot anything.
Haiku # 74260, December 12, 2021 8:05 am ET
by .com, .ru, .xxx, .darth, .etc. of Imagine no spam. It's easy if you try. No marketing below us. Above us only haiku.
I'll just give you meth.
I don't trust you with money.
You'll buy groceries.
Haiku # 74257, December 11, 2021 8:26 pm ET
by Know what I mean, Vern?
No one butters me.
I may have to **** myself
with a bull butt-wife.
Haiku # 74256, December 11, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by If you need cash, start an only fans account. of I will sign up.
No one answers me.
I may have to CUT myself.
With dull butter-knife.
Haiku # 74255, December 11, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by Milkmaid of Human Unkindness
Hey there mister Darth.
Could y'all send me some money?
I need to buy meth.
Haiku # 74254, December 11, 2021 4:27 pm ET
by Your Elected Representative of Akansas, Texas
Ah shore ain't got none:
what you all call "book larnin'"...
I'm conservativ !
Haiku # 74253, December 11, 2021 4:15 pm ET
by George F. Will Surrender of National Review Toilet Paper Inc.
Well now... y'all so smart.
Y'all must be from KANNADA.
(Heaven). Well, maybe...
Haiku # 74252, December 11, 2021 4:06 pm ET
by Shout-out to Janis of The Great White North
Carl Orff. Carmina.
As in Burana. Oh yes.
Was he a Nazi?
Haiku # 74251, December 11, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by Jest a ole' knuckle-draggin' Trump Voter of We All Don't Know Nuthin Compared To Y'all
It ain't the purchase,
it's the search engine spiders.
Catching these fake flies.
Haiku # 74250, December 11, 2021 2:11 pm ET
by Putrid botulism spam.
Spam: what is the point?
Do they think haiku misfits
will purchase their wares?
Haiku # 74249, December 11, 2021 12:56 pm ET
by Hydra Head of Haiku
Are your nipples hard.
Maybe it's just the cold weather.
Not that I would know.
Haiku # 74247, December 11, 2021 11:49 am ET
by But then, it's always cold where you crazies live, huh? of Damn Canadians, with your beady eyes and flapping heads.
If you like, outlaw
the Russian gobbledygook
we'll get much less spam.
Haiku # 74246, December 11, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Got to be a quick copy paste code for that.
Bullshit science news.
Warp drives, fusion, nanotech.
Google is garbage.

But it's not Farcebook.
Hot Asian girls on TikTok.
Lose weight with this pill.

Be a teenager.
Reverse the aging process.
Ninety-nine dollars.
Haiku # 74244, December 11, 2021 9:16 am ET
by I wrote this whilst pooping. of Somewhere I'd rather not be.
Oh how I love you:
All misfit haiku poets.
You are voice of truth.
Haiku # 74242, December 10, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by But What Is Truth? of Pontius Pilates Method
The holodomor
Ukraine doth not want Russias
Hungry land hunger
Haiku # 74241, December 10, 2021 5:13 pm ET
by Vhs
Russia is showing
Appreciation of spam
By spamming this place?
Haiku # 74240, December 10, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Vhs of WWII reference
Poetic watchdog
Image 25 years
Of sweeping up shit
Haiku # 74238, December 10, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Janis of Smoke break in the custodian's office.
Ron Nat fucked a bat
Then his fat ass sat and shat
In his cowboy hat
Haiku # 74236, December 10, 2021 11:51 am ET
by Studio Audience
Ronald Nat, you shat . . .
and your foul verborrhea
is exactly that.
Haiku # 74234, December 10, 2021 8:34 am ET
by Then Again You Are A Bot of Feel the Luv
Your erection was storen

(7 syrraburs)
Haiku # 74232, December 10, 2021 6:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Prease risten to me:
Erection was STOREN!
Donard Trump weenah!
Haiku # 74231, December 10, 2021 6:14 am ET
by Shiromatsu Sakamoto of Wearing a Bamboo Hat While Programming Vote Machine
Haiku # 74230, December 9, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Order Yours Today of *helmet not included
Stuff the balot box
See who wins the erection
Haiku # 74229, December 9, 2021 11:02 pm ET
by HaikQ-anon of Orgamatron and voting booth
Hey, Zeus! Jesus! LORD!
Wanted haiku, got novel.
Can we nuke Russia?
Haiku # 74228, December 9, 2021 10:24 pm ET
by Can we, mom, pleeeeze?????
This are circumvent.
Your essays is valious
for high notes of bot
Haiku # 74226, December 9, 2021 4:04 pm ET
by Like Yo Mama's Ugly Bot-ass-face of Chinee Dragon Breath Ching-Chong Oh sorry
Our world is absurd.
Nowhere can the truth be heard.
Balot of lies. Word.
Haiku # 74225, December 9, 2021 3:59 pm ET
by Surfin' Biiiiirrrrrrd %4#@ of Papa Mao Mao Poppa Mao Ma Mao
Coffee rented in
Our system turns into bad
Body humor here
Haiku # 74222, December 9, 2021 2:40 pm ET
by Vhs
The Collected Works
Of Sir Darth Figpucker, Esq.
That's my Christmas list
Haiku # 74221, December 9, 2021 2:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
I don't have a dink.
Tell me, how do guys make foam?
Is there a button?
Haiku # 74219, December 9, 2021 9:01 am ET
by bathroom barista of coming soon to a bathroom near you
When guys pee, we try
to foam up the whole surface.
And God does that too.
Haiku # 74218, December 9, 2021 7:09 am ET
by With infinite power, what else would one do?
In the middle of
my psychological test
I spoke in haiku
Haiku # 74216, December 9, 2021 2:39 am ET
by sk of Straitjacket
That was a bad bad
Haiku where I just farted
After reading it.
Haiku # 74214, December 8, 2021 9:06 pm ET
by Vhs
Yeah, you win.
Haiku # 74213, December 8, 2021 6:38 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i know I'm getting
older, high blood pressure and
pissing contests here.

as in pissing out
the high blood pressure causing
coffee, gatorade.
Haiku # 74212, December 8, 2021 6:27 pm ET
by vhs of i had a pissing contest this evening.
Too much glory hole.
You should get a hotel room.
Your knees will thank you.
Haiku # 74211, December 8, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Or by today's standard, just do it on a park bench. of If arrested, just claim cultural discrimination and denying your gender identity.
Heck, my knees are stiff
Haikumatoid darthritis
Need horse liniment
Haiku # 74210, December 8, 2021 4:44 pm ET
by Good neighbor of Neighborhood
The balot ballet.
Dance with fertilized swan eggs.
Hard boiled, limber.
Haiku # 74207, December 8, 2021 2:26 pm ET
by Karaoke Opera
Weird old uncle Joe:
hit were YOU that abused me...
now yore PREZIDINT?
Haiku # 74206, December 8, 2021 10:25 am ET
by Ah Knowed Hit Were You of Mama Done Tole Me
If you distill me
you'll get a vial of vile.
Sell it on dark web.
Haiku # 74205, December 8, 2021 9:59 am ET
by Cousin Hillbilly-Joe Figpucker of Arkansas meth lab.
Balot scented air
freshener cracked my ass up!
That was effing gold!
Haiku # 74204, December 8, 2021 9:55 am ET
by I needed that!
Oh Darth, we love you.
We love you because you're vile,
and also quite gay.
Haiku # 74202, December 8, 2021 9:11 am ET
by Joyful, Glad, Happy, Christmasy, Pumpkin Latte of Balot Air Freshener
The price of haiku
The cost of one balot egg
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 74201, December 8, 2021 8:24 am ET
by Selection of Dollar Menu
Haiku # 74200, December 8, 2021 7:27 am ET
by oops
Don't get to angry.
You might spit out your dentures.
And I'll have to laugh.
Haiku # 74199, December 8, 2021 7:27 am ET
by Goood. Goooood! I can feel that hate flow through you!
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >