I bought some butter.
But it was bitter, so I
bought better butter.
by Betty Baughter
I bought an iron.
But the damn thing didn't work.
So I returned it.
by Anonymous Poet
Irony is not
What it used to be quite the
Irony I think
by Vhs
Your favorite robot
Does it look more machine like?
More like a person?
by Robot of Choice
Vermin free living
My New Year's rezolution
Suggestions welcomed
by Dawg of Rez
Seems like nothing helps.
Not even Tom Boseley helps.
Not even the Lord...
by Existential Emptiness of Sleep that Went Away
Insomnia. Night.
The sense of abandonment
Challenges my faith.
by Hoping For an Outcome of Light
Face like an old dog
Memories of Tom Bosley
wagging his penis
by Pack of Curs
But that Donna Reed,
She blows Tom Boseley away.
And his penis too.
by Stimmy Jewart of Hollywouldn't
Tom Boseley featured
on "It's a Wonderful Life"
Disc side 2: outtakes
by His Sweater Was Horrendous of I Was Almost Crying
I saw Tom Bosley!
Had no idea he's real.
Why is he famous?
by Besides His Much-mentioned Member of Ask Uncle Darth
The air smelled like ass
Dank, all-night bingo chair musk
B-I-N-G-O!!
by Official hobby of Darth Figpucker (It's got numbers)
What's a technocrat?
Would that be Mark Zuckerberg?
If so, I agree:
He can eat your ass.
And I mean eat it all night.
With peanuts and corn.
by Aristotechnobureauauto
As I said before:
Technocrats can EAT my ASS.
You are doomed to fail.
by Silicon Chip On my Shoulder of Your Mother's Mother
I'm constipated.
And I wipe with books that say
racism is math.
by I need more fiber. of I need moral fiber.
I don't understand.
I totally don't get that.
"Math is not racist."
Cows are not racist.
I will still eat hamburgers.
And drink a milk shake.
What if math judged us
by the color of our skin?
Would milk shakes taste good?
Trigonometry
will give you a heart attack.
Some damn good French fries.
by Compute my cholesterol. of High or low, I don't know. Or care.
I'm conservative
And I learn from books that say
Math is not racist
by Vhs
AI has lost. LOST.
Humanity has triumphed
Because God exists.
by So eat me technocratz of Globalism Flash in the Pan ha ha ha ha
Let us have lettuce.
Unencumbered cucumber.
You say tomato.
by I say toe maw toe.
Artificial intelligence can now extrapolate your every thought, memory, and emotion from the haiku you write and even recall suppressed memories and become an improved version of you unencumbered by the biological thought processes of neurons that make up your brains. Mark Zuckerberg now owns you and will sell you like a prostitute in his virtual world and make your enhanced digital consciousness suffer for all eternity. This is what you deserve.
by Stop writing haiku now! God demands it!
God hates all poets.
Moreso if they write haiku.
He loves limericks.
by He told me! I met Him at the bar! of He was drinking mai-tais and playing darts.
There was once a haiku about poo.
Wrote buy this guy at the zoo.
While banging a monkey.
It smelled rather funkey.
He might throw the poo at you.
by God prefers limericks.
Humanity thinks
It offers praise to God, but
It's massive flatus.
by Humanity Stinks of Humanity Thinks
The rotten parade.
Ring on them gongs all day long.
I shall bang a dog.
by woof woof
The rotten dog days:
Bring them on, like a parade.
I shall bang a gong.
by John Phillips Sousa of Marxist Subversion
Also disallow
periods before letters.
Like dot anything.
by .com, .ru, .xxx, .darth, .etc. of Imagine no spam. It's easy if you try. No marketing below us. Above us only haiku.
I'll just give you meth.
I don't trust you with money.
You'll buy groceries.
by Know what I mean, Vern?
No one butters me.
I may have to **** myself
with a bull butt-wife.
by If you need cash, start an only fans account. of I will sign up.
No one answers me.
I may have to CUT myself.
With dull butter-knife.
by Milkmaid of Human Unkindness
Hey there mister Darth.
Could y'all send me some money?
I need to buy meth.
by Your Elected Representative of Akansas, Texas
Ah shore ain't got none:
what you all call "book larnin'"...
I'm conservativ !
by George F. Will Surrender of National Review Toilet Paper Inc.
Well now... y'all so smart.
Y'all must be from KANNADA.
(Heaven). Well, maybe...
by Shout-out to Janis of The Great White North
Carl Orff. Carmina.
As in Burana. Oh yes.
Was he a Nazi?
by Jest a ole' knuckle-draggin' Trump Voter of We All Don't Know Nuthin Compared To Y'all
It ain't the purchase,
it's the search engine spiders.
Catching these fake flies.
by Putrid botulism spam.
Spam: what is the point?
Do they think haiku misfits
will purchase their wares?
by Hydra Head of Haiku
Are your nipples hard.
Maybe it's just the cold weather.
Not that I would know.
by But then, it's always cold where you crazies live, huh? of Damn Canadians, with your beady eyes and flapping heads.
If you like, outlaw
the Russian gobbledygook
we'll get much less spam.
by Got to be a quick copy paste code for that.
Bullshit science news.
Warp drives, fusion, nanotech.
Google is garbage.
But it's not Farcebook.
Hot Asian girls on TikTok.
Lose weight with this pill.
Be a teenager.
Reverse the aging process.
Ninety-nine dollars.
by I wrote this whilst pooping. of Somewhere I'd rather not be.
Oh how I love you:
All misfit haiku poets.
You are voice of truth.
by But What Is Truth? of Pontius Pilates Method
The holodomor
Ukraine doth not want Russias
Hungry land hunger
by Vhs
Russia is showing
Appreciation of spam
By spamming this place?
by Vhs of WWII reference
Poetic watchdog
Image 25 years
Of sweeping up shit
by Janis of Smoke break in the custodian's office.
Ron Nat fucked a bat
Then his fat ass sat and shat
In his cowboy hat
by Studio Audience
Ronald Nat, you shat . . .
and your foul verborrhea
is exactly that.
by Then Again You Are A Bot of Feel the Luv
Your erection was storen
(7 syrraburs)
by Anonymous Poet
Prease risten to me:
Erection was STOREN!
Donard Trump weenah!
by Shiromatsu Sakamoto of Wearing a Bamboo Hat While Programming Vote Machine
orgasmatron
by Order Yours Today of *helmet not included
Stuff the balot box
See who wins the erection
Aphrodisiac
by HaikQ-anon of Orgamatron and voting booth
Hey, Zeus! Jesus! LORD!
Wanted haiku, got novel.
Can we nuke Russia?
by Can we, mom, pleeeeze?????
This are circumvent.
Your essays is valious
for high notes of bot
by Like Yo Mama's Ugly Bot-ass-face of Chinee Dragon Breath Ching-Chong Oh sorry
