I molest hamsters.
PetSmart restraining order.
Thank God there's PetCo.
by Darth Figpucker
I wear disguises.
Dressing up like a poodle.
Then sniff dogs' buttholes.
by Darth Figpucker
I wear Underoos
and wank watching videos
of myself wanking.
by Darth Figpucker
I can't piss myself.
I am nothing but urine.
A big pee puddle.
by Darth Figpucker
If you are evil,
then what are you doing here?
Go commit some crimes.
by Satan
Now I'm really DONE.
Now I have reached my limit.
Thus, I write haiku.
by The Virgin Mary of Supermodel Catalog
Visualization.
Imagine a trickling stream.
Darth, you pissed yourself!
by River of Coffee
"Sticking feathers up
your ass will not make you a
chicken," said Tyler.
by Regendrification should be a word.
Boink a sex-changed bull.
Requantify your gender.
Wear strap-on udders.
by Buy them with Amazon Prime. of Order deep fried bull balls with UberEats.
*Requantify
by Anonymous Poet
Boink is just a verb.
Requatify is also.
Udder is a noun.
by I would rather be a pro baseball player than a pronoun.
Lemme aisk you, Clem:
Is it "Doctor Kissinger"
Or jess "Mister K"?
by Angela Merkel of Greater Appalachia
Mommy mommy help.
I have a dirty haiku.
Change me mommy. Waaah!
by Dr. Henry Kissinger of Big Ideas For Global Change
Hoo hoo
by Missing Link I mean Syllables of Previous Second Simian Line
I ooh ooh ah ah.
You ah ah ooh ooh.
We communicate.
by And Catch Termites with Stalks of Grass
I am King Monkey,
the greatest jungle swinger.
Bring me bananas.
by Charles Darwin of Jungle Book
Please use my pronouns:
Boink/Udder/Requantify
(Be considerate)
by A Man-girl Who Identifies As a Piece of Cheese (with beard and mascara)
Please stop making fun
Of split personality.
Oh wait...that was me.
by You Do You, She'll Do Him of We Am All Together
It is NOT easy
Typing in a straitjacket.
Have to use my teeth.
by No Doctor I Don't Hear Voices But I'm Fearful of That Radio Inside My Head
When poets fly high
They make the mere mortals sigh...
Whoops-- time for my meds.
by Seroquel is Swell of Ward 7 North
When reindeers fly high
they defecate in the sky
Here's mud in your eye
by Smudge of Sludge Fudge
Lmao, I
Say it again lma...
Oh oh oh oh.. ohhhh...
by Vhs
President Kanye
That would have been so awesome
He's fucking crazy
by Anonymous Poet
I'm solipsistic,
I think it's all about ME.
That's why I love you.
by As Long As You Are Pretty of Course...
I'm Calvinistic:
God's sovereignly elected...
So - I'm His problem.
by Luther Von Knox of Saxony Mit Bratwurst
I'm masochistic
So you realize now then I
Enjoy the harsh pain
by Vhs
Can you please explain?
You think one of these are "GOOD"?
I guess I'll die now.
by Anonymous Pooet
every damn time im not
here and you post GOOD haiku!
flavor them with salt!
by vhs
Rather amusing answer
by DonaldNum of Oman
Heather Williams farted
during PE class and we have
photographic proof of the fart.
by Eric
We all deserve "it".
You more than anyone else.
You who now reads this.
by Anonymous Pooet
Santa is Satan.
He distracts dead souls from truth.
He might be Jewish.
by Rebbe of Reindeer
What time? What channel?
Vengeance is good for ratings.
True must see tv
by Studio Audience
All of them will pay.
They will feel my vengeance SOON.
They will beg for death.
by Not Sure Who But They Deserve It
I mean three LINE check.
Not three link. We don't need links.
Missing links maybe.
by Anonymous pooet.
Testing the waters.
I'm doing your work for you.
Please send me a check.
1
2
3
4
by Anonymous Poet
Three link checker.
Syllable is too difficult.
But allow nude pics.
by Anonymous Poet
Just about ready.
Next year will be good to die.
I hope that I poop.
by Anonymous Poet
Was going to im-
-plement a sylable che-
-cker. Now not so sure
by Janis of Go pick on someone your own size, botfarm.
I have a lot more
where that came from, however
you're hard of hearing.
by Author of Book of Hebrews (NYT Best-seller!)
Hard time of the year
for Moslems, Jews and Atheists.
please remember them.
by Saint John Knox of East Lothian 1568
God can have it all:
absurd data-driven shit
that passes for life.
by Pastel Shades of Another Corporate PowerPoint Presentation
I wouldn't call this art.
Hell, it's not even functional.
But here you are.
by Anonymous Poet
Special Processed American Meat.
Self-Propogating Alternative Media.
Spanking Penguins All Month.
by Anonymous Poet
And Libertarian.
by Anonymous Poet
You left out Librarians.
by Anonymous Poet
Thieves and murderers.
Whores, pornographers, and pimps.
These are the poets.
by Anonymous Poet
Talk about Jacko:
a horrible role-model,
a bad musician.
by ABC, Easy as 123 of Do Re Mi
Jizz Lane. There's a stain.
Listen for the old refrain
Cuntfart Cuntfart Cunt!
by The Law Orifices of Cuntfart Cuntfart and Cunt
Ghislaine. Such a pain.
So what does she stand to gain?
Will you please explain?
by Some Haiku Writer Not On Payroll of MI6, CIA, Mossad or KGB
