Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 280 Days and 75974 Haiku later...

Darth rules!
Haiku # 74371, December 18, 2021 3:13 pm ET
by >.<
I say ju gringos
Ju no know nothing for food.
Ustedes tontos.
Haiku # 74370, December 18, 2021 3:08 pm ET
by We Are Espeek Eenglish Here!
Cui es sabroso.
Comimos sus mascotes,
Con apetito...
Haiku # 74369, December 18, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Platos Tipicos Andinos of Darth el Gringo
Hamster's lives are short.
You can make them meaningful.
Fill them up with love.
Haiku # 74368, December 18, 2021 2:28 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of RightsForRodents dot com
What's really awesome,
if you don't like a hamster,
feed it to the cat.
Haiku # 74367, December 18, 2021 2:16 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Hamsters are the best.
You can legally keep them
locked up in cages.
Haiku # 74366, December 18, 2021 2:14 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Frogs are not loyal.
My penis has enough warts.
Stay away from pigs.
Haiku # 74365, December 18, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker's Love Advice Column
We're all one person.
You, me, Janis, the private
investigator.

All one entity
in one titty squirting milk
into my coffee.
Haiku # 74364, December 18, 2021 2:08 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
i know someone who
likes frogs better, is it french
or are they alp frogs?
Haiku # 74363, December 18, 2021 2:05 pm ET
by vhs
Are you kidding me??
Hamsters can go all night long
and still ask for more.
Haiku # 74362, December 18, 2021 2:01 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
i get this idea
its one person talking to
themselves then i post.
Haiku # 74361, December 18, 2021 2:01 pm ET
by vhs
Darth, you foul villain,
You have now out-done yourself.
And your hamsters too....
Haiku # 74360, December 18, 2021 1:46 pm ET
by Vermin Mammals Love You of But May Talk To Their Lawyer
i hope tim allen
was not reading these, he might
have went 'auuuuooohhhh?'
Haiku # 74359, December 18, 2021 1:46 pm ET
by waffle pirate vhs
Underoos are great,
but the crotch has too much space
for my small penis.
Haiku # 74358, December 18, 2021 1:28 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Oh, I forgot. You prefer "dink".
I cannot decide
which Underoos I like best.
Batman or The Flash.
Haiku # 74357, December 18, 2021 1:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
A true narcissist
wanks in front of the mirror
smelling their undies.

Much like a poet
who writes only for themselves
while eating fine cheese.
Haiku # 74356, December 18, 2021 1:23 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Self-ANALyCYST.
Get free vibrators
for underprivileged women;
ToysForTwats dot com.
Haiku # 74355, December 18, 2021 1:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Pooet
Done with Asian girls.
Hamsters wearing Underoos.
Viagra pellets.
Haiku # 74354, December 18, 2021 12:55 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Why I love hamsters.
I can stuff my whole penis
in their cheek pouches.
Haiku # 74353, December 18, 2021 12:51 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I love Amazon.
Ordering hamster outfits.
Leather and strap-ons.
Haiku # 74352, December 18, 2021 12:50 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I'm Darth Figpucker
and I'm a hamster addict.
It's been seven days.
Haiku # 74351, December 18, 2021 12:47 pm ET
by Support group chorus: of Hello Darth Figpucker.
I molest hamsters.
PetSmart restraining order.
Thank God there's PetCo.
Haiku # 74350, December 18, 2021 12:42 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I wear disguises.
Dressing up like a poodle.
Then sniff dogs' buttholes.
Haiku # 74349, December 18, 2021 12:37 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I wear Underoos
and wank watching videos
of myself wanking.
Haiku # 74348, December 18, 2021 12:30 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I can't piss myself.
I am nothing but urine.
A big pee puddle.
Haiku # 74347, December 18, 2021 12:26 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
If you are evil,
then what are you doing here?
Go commit some crimes.
Haiku # 74346, December 18, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by Satan
Now I'm really DONE.
Now I have reached my limit.
Thus, I write haiku.
Haiku # 74345, December 18, 2021 12:22 pm ET
by The Virgin Mary of Supermodel Catalog
Visualization.
Imagine a trickling stream.
Darth, you pissed yourself!
Haiku # 74344, December 18, 2021 11:46 am ET
by River of Coffee
"Sticking feathers up
your ass will not make you a
chicken," said Tyler.
Haiku # 74343, December 18, 2021 9:06 am ET
by Regendrification should be a word.
Boink a sex-changed bull.
Requantify your gender.
Wear strap-on udders.
Haiku # 74342, December 18, 2021 9:01 am ET
by Buy them with Amazon Prime. of Order deep fried bull balls with UberEats.
*Requantify
Haiku # 74341, December 18, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Boink is just a verb.
Requatify is also.
Udder is a noun.
Haiku # 74340, December 18, 2021 8:04 am ET
by I would rather be a pro baseball player than a pronoun.
Lemme aisk you, Clem:
Is it "Doctor Kissinger"
Or jess "Mister K"?
Haiku # 74339, December 18, 2021 6:53 am ET
by Angela Merkel of Greater Appalachia
Mommy mommy help.
I have a dirty haiku.
Change me mommy. Waaah!
Haiku # 74338, December 18, 2021 6:34 am ET
by Dr. Henry Kissinger of Big Ideas For Global Change
Hoo hoo
Haiku # 74337, December 18, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Missing Link I mean Syllables of Previous Second Simian Line
I ooh ooh ah ah.
You ah ah ooh ooh.
We communicate.
Haiku # 74336, December 18, 2021 6:27 am ET
by And Catch Termites with Stalks of Grass
I am King Monkey,
the greatest jungle swinger.
Bring me bananas.
Haiku # 74335, December 18, 2021 6:24 am ET
by Charles Darwin of Jungle Book
Please use my pronouns:
Boink/Udder/Requantify
(Be considerate)
Haiku # 74334, December 18, 2021 6:20 am ET
by A Man-girl Who Identifies As a Piece of Cheese (with beard and mascara)
Please stop making fun
Of split personality.
Oh wait...that was me.
Haiku # 74333, December 18, 2021 6:16 am ET
by You Do You, She'll Do Him of We Am All Together
It is NOT easy
Typing in a straitjacket.
Have to use my teeth.
Haiku # 74332, December 18, 2021 6:10 am ET
by No Doctor I Don't Hear Voices But I'm Fearful of That Radio Inside My Head
When poets fly high
They make the mere mortals sigh...
Whoops-- time for my meds.
Haiku # 74331, December 18, 2021 6:05 am ET
by Seroquel is Swell of Ward 7 North
When reindeers fly high
they defecate in the sky
Here's mud in your eye
Haiku # 74330, December 18, 2021 2:31 am ET
by Smudge of Sludge Fudge
Lmao, I
Say it again lma...
Oh oh oh oh.. ohhhh...
Haiku # 74329, December 17, 2021 10:15 pm ET
by Vhs
President Kanye
That would have been so awesome
He's fucking crazy
Haiku # 74328, December 17, 2021 8:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm solipsistic,
I think it's all about ME.
That's why I love you.
Haiku # 74327, December 17, 2021 5:59 pm ET
by As Long As You Are Pretty of Course...
I'm Calvinistic:
God's sovereignly elected...
So - I'm His problem.
Haiku # 74326, December 17, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by Luther Von Knox of Saxony Mit Bratwurst
I'm masochistic
So you realize now then I
Enjoy the harsh pain
Haiku # 74325, December 17, 2021 3:38 pm ET
by Vhs
Can you please explain?
You think one of these are "GOOD"?
I guess I'll die now.
Haiku # 74324, December 17, 2021 12:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Pooet
every damn time im not
here and you post GOOD haiku!
flavor them with salt!
Haiku # 74323, December 17, 2021 12:02 pm ET
by vhs
Rather amusing answer
Haiku # 74322, December 17, 2021 10:18 am ET
by DonaldNum of Oman
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >