Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
25 Years, 236 Days and 75872 Haiku later...

Dancing beak to beak?
May I tickle your gizzard.
Would you like gravy?
Haiku # 74426, December 20, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Bird is the word.
Something might pop up
when we're dancing cheek to cheek
Come here, Butterballs
Haiku # 74425, December 20, 2021 1:02 pm ET
by Bird Fancier of Frozen Foods
I am also bot.
We are make great haiku work.
We are very much.
Haiku # 74424, December 20, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by Brynn Wadsworth of Conakry, Guinea
When two people kiss
they form one enormous tube;
Butthole to butthole.
Haiku # 74423, December 20, 2021 11:53 am ET
by Kiss me, you fool!
My tennis racket
I think it's in the closet
Hand it to me, Darth.
Haiku # 74422, December 20, 2021 11:41 am ET
by The fruity and fun ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly
Well, that's different.
Hello, JL from Peru.
I'll be nice to you.
Haiku # 74421, December 20, 2021 10:35 am ET
by Please post more. We need it.
haiku and good friends
many thanks to Jane and Rob
love you all so much
Haiku # 74420, December 20, 2021 8:45 am ET
by JL of Peru, Vermouth
Autoerotic
homosexuality
asphixiation.
Haiku # 74418, December 20, 2021 7:53 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Hanging out in the closet. I'm blue.
Don't count your balot
before it hatches. Get it?
The yolk is on you!
Haiku # 74415, December 20, 2021 1:17 am ET
by Joke of Starkitten
Just figured it out
You human calculator!
Darth = Count
Haiku # 74414, December 20, 2021 12:42 am ET
by Countfart Countfart Count! of Methane Square
Don't count your dooku
Before it hatches. Get it?
That was a Darth joke.
Haiku # 74413, December 19, 2021 10:37 pm ET
by Counting Numbers of Digits
Darth, demystified.
I found out he's really me.
That's why I like him.
Haiku # 74412, December 19, 2021 10:19 pm ET
by Novelty of Having a huge penis
The time to rob banks
is when you're peaking on meth,
not when coming down.
Haiku # 74409, December 19, 2021 6:18 pm ET
by Career Advice Column of Darth Figpucker
Commit seppuku.
You can't solve the sudoku.
Write your last haiku.

Your urn is raku.
And it's driving me coo-coo.
Look, it's Count Dooku!
Haiku # 74408, December 19, 2021 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Pooet
Did you rob the bank?
Make the tellers show their tits.
Tip with stolen cash.
Haiku # 74407, December 19, 2021 6:01 pm ET
by Have some style.
I just closed my eyes
The Energizer bunny
shit on my carpet
Haiku # 74406, December 19, 2021 1:30 pm ET
by I need your assistance
Try to imagine
Robots pooping batteries
That is our future
Haiku # 74405, December 19, 2021 1:04 pm ET
by Tongue
I tried signing up
but I haven't heard back yet
Did I get approved?
Haiku # 74404, December 19, 2021 11:20 am ET
by Toys for Twats applicant of Xmas is coming!
I'll never forget
smoking my first figarette
behind the old mall
Haiku # 74403, December 19, 2021 11:02 am ET
by Pack of Lies
Maybe a blender.
Raw fish, wasabi, lettuce,
Tomato and hamster.

Blend well, place in shell
on a bed of rice and beans.
Consume right away.
Haiku # 74402, December 19, 2021 9:41 am ET
by Margaritas with sake chasers.
Bullfrog in moonlight.
Smoking dried cherry blossoms
through a six foot bong.
Haiku # 74401, December 19, 2021 9:30 am ET
by Whoa, dude. It's so deep.
This site's moniker
happens to be BAD haiku.
Blossoms in my ass.
Haiku # 74400, December 19, 2021 9:19 am ET
by Where else would blossoms be?
I think we should mix
hamsters and sushi tacos,
But I don't know how.

Now we contemplate
smoking chrysanthemum bud
extract through vape pens.
Haiku # 74399, December 19, 2021 9:00 am ET
by Vaping... not as gay as pineapple on pizza, of course, but almost!
All day long I know
I'll be thinking about those
damn sushi tacos!
Haiku # 74398, December 19, 2021 8:45 am ET
by It's all your fault!
I'm not hungary
for tapioca pudding.
Jeez! I'm not THAT old!
Haiku # 74397, December 19, 2021 8:41 am ET
by Darth
Richard Gere's hamster?
She died about one year back.
No, it wasn't me!
Haiku # 74396, December 19, 2021 8:39 am ET
by I only know it had something to do with Stephen Hawking
You may ridicule.
Anal health is important.
And must be discussed.
Haiku # 74394, December 19, 2021 8:31 am ET
by The Journal of Practical Proctology -- peer reviewed anal medicine written in haiku.
Wait a minute here!
Mexican food in Japan?
You must tell me where!

Think sushi taco.
Literally, that's to say.
Not Asian hookers.

But maybe those too!
Sushi taco, my new fave!
But it's confusing.

Eat it or fuck it.
In Japan, anything goes.
I cannot decide.
Haiku # 74393, December 19, 2021 8:27 am ET
by Close your eyes and imagine three Japanese hookers feeding me sushi tacos. of Your welcome.
Coming down now (sigh...)
The meth is wearing off. Damn.
Time to rob a bank.
Haiku # 74392, December 19, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Tenzin Gyatso AKA "Tha Dolly Lama" of Thug Life Soundz Recording Studios, Himalaya
Tell me why this site
Isn't bigger than Twitter.
It deserves to be!
Haiku # 74391, December 19, 2021 7:31 am ET
by Greatest Website Ever Created By GOD I Mean Janis of Toronto
Help me Uncle Clem !
I done REELAPST and caint quit.
On haiku agin.
Haiku # 74390, December 19, 2021 7:28 am ET
by Oh Lord Help Me I Jest Caint Lay Off The HAIKU of I Need Me A Tent Revival
Cherry blossoms, wind...
the lantern bridge festival
has ended: moonlight.
Haiku # 74389, December 19, 2021 7:22 am ET
by Because Darth showed up 7 hours after a LARGE Mexican dinner of Geishas Fleeing in Fear Leaving Parasols and Fans Scattered in Panic
Therefore let us dream
of chrysanthemum blossoms
at the Kyoto gate
Haiku # 74388, December 19, 2021 7:18 am ET
by Until Darth cuts a massive gasser and talks about his excremental health
But seriously:
we must restore to Haiku
style and dignity.
Haiku # 74387, December 19, 2021 7:13 am ET
by It IS an important and valid poetic form after all, of course. (He said while dancing in an elf suit on Ayahuasca)
You mention Tinkoff?
Then I may have to drink off
my Shanghai chink-off.
Haiku # 74386, December 19, 2021 7:08 am ET
by Thinkoff and then Phakoff of Marketing Solutions For the Data-driven Executive Dressed in an Elf Hat Butt-naked
Hey you, Figpucker !
I heard Richard Gere's hamster
is looking for you.
Haiku # 74385, December 19, 2021 7:01 am ET
by You Might Get Lucky, Bro' of Hamsterdam, Netherlands in a Plastic Bag
Jen Psaki, wearing
Santa suit and big black boots
drunk and staggering...

She hugs a reindeer,
babbles incoherently,
vomits in the snow.
Haiku # 74384, December 19, 2021 6:57 am ET
by Ideas for a Christmas Special
Dressed in green and red,
thousands of little Faucis
with bells on their toes.

Croaking of Covid,
Jumping and dancing in glee
waving syringes.
Haiku # 74383, December 19, 2021 6:46 am ET
by Infernal Vision of Merry Christmas Variant
Now, everyone's an
Epidemiologist.
We're so well-informed...
Haiku # 74382, December 19, 2021 6:14 am ET
by Spike P. Rotein, MD, from Gain of Function, Covidoplis
With power there comes
great responsibility,
which isn't so fun.
Haiku # 74381, December 19, 2021 4:34 am ET
by I still want the ability to post my nudes on here.
No! Do NOT try it.
Tinkoff will take your dink off.
If you even care.
Haiku # 74380, December 19, 2021 4:07 am ET
by Not like you're using it for anything important.
I live on the fez.
Those silly old Shriner hats.
I am just a louse.
Haiku # 74376, December 18, 2021 6:05 pm ET
by That's one small step for a louse. of But one giant leap for licekind.
I live on The Pez.
Those old dispenser candies.
That is all I eat.
Haiku # 74375, December 18, 2021 5:55 pm ET
by Marijuana dispensary Pez. of Probably been done already.
Darth is "Starkitten".
Starkitten lives "on the rez".
Uh-huh. Whatever...
Haiku # 74374, December 18, 2021 5:08 pm ET
by Editions of Darth
I'm on the toilet.
Been sitting here for some time.
Damn cheese plugged me up.
Haiku # 74373, December 18, 2021 3:37 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Draino enema
Sometimes I'd like to.
No, I don't rule anything.
That is beneath me.

There are some "lows" that
even I will not sink to.
I'll leave that to the...

politicians and dictators.
Haiku # 74372, December 18, 2021 3:21 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of I don't even rule hamsters.
Darth rules!
Haiku # 74371, December 18, 2021 3:13 pm ET
by >.<
I say ju gringos
Ju no know nothing for food.
Ustedes tontos.
Haiku # 74370, December 18, 2021 3:08 pm ET
by We Are Espeek Eenglish Here!
Cui es sabroso.
Comimos sus mascotes,
Con apetito...
Haiku # 74369, December 18, 2021 2:48 pm ET
by Platos Tipicos Andinos of Darth el Gringo
Hamster's lives are short.
You can make them meaningful.
Fill them up with love.
Haiku # 74368, December 18, 2021 2:28 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of RightsForRodents dot com
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