Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 163 Days and 77044 Haiku later...

Merry Christmas, y'all,
A very Happy New Year,
And Crazy Kwanza!
Haiku # 74487, December 24, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by And stuff.
That was Bo Burnham.
Check out his song Sunday School.
Yes, I ate the cheese.
Haiku # 74486, December 24, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by And tell your parents they need to take spelling lessons.
You misspelled my name
You jerked off on my Bible
You ate all my cheese!
Haiku # 74485, December 24, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by Mother Fuckin' Teresa of No H
I don't remember
ever insulting Mother
Theresa on here.

You sure that was me?
Anything is possible.
But doesn't sound right.
Haiku # 74484, December 24, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Hitler's last fart was when he evacuated his bowels when he shot himself. of That's why I always eat high fiber food.
I would rather watch
rabbit than rabbi videos
for three hours straight.
Haiku # 74481, December 24, 2021 8:36 am ET
by Oy vay! Herschel, did you forget the salmon lox again?! of My mother's coming over and I told her we'd have salmon lox! You putz! I don't care if the prices are high! Don't be such a Jew!
David Lee's a fake.
He's never seen Panama.
Nor runs with Satan.
Haiku # 74480, December 24, 2021 8:24 am ET
by What a phony!
Contemplate nature.
Wait, I need my cellphone first.
Take lots of selfies.

Leave the world of man.
Is it even possible?
Sick of all this shit.
Haiku # 74478, December 24, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Maybe I should read Ted Kazinsky's manefesto. of Probably more poetic than this.
I saw those birds fly.
There's no even, only odd.
Even means all will die.
Haiku # 74477, December 24, 2021 6:56 am ET
by We are all equal in the eyes of the colonel. of KFC
Flightless birds will get even!
It's gizzard power!!
Haiku # 74476, December 24, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Angry Birds of Everywhere!
Is it wrong to laugh
when watching Chubbyemu
youtube videos?
Haiku # 74475, December 24, 2021 5:44 am ET
by Over the young willow.
Okay, one thing I'll ask:
What's with you and willow trees?
Symbolize something?
Haiku # 74474, December 24, 2021 5:22 am ET
by ?????????????
Drunk Yoda on floor.
Needed the money, he did.
Death sticks ain't cheap, yo.

He died for your sins.
Then he became a "Force ghost".
'Cause it makes money.
Haiku # 74473, December 24, 2021 5:15 am ET
by One billion dollars.
Jesus, you're obsessed.
Did I wrong you in some way?
Wouldn't surprise me.

Soon you'll have revenge.
Reveal yourselves to Jedi.
On YouPorn dot com.
Haiku # 74472, December 24, 2021 5:10 am ET
by Darth Isaac FigNewtonPucker of For every action, there's a troll.
One-of-a-kind gifts
Mother Teresa's dry cunt
Hitler's last known fart
Haiku # 74471, December 23, 2021 11:46 pm ET
by Old Willow Pawn Shoppe of Just past the Old Willow exit
Drunk yoga on floor.
Darth Figpucker residence.
2 sticky rum balls
Haiku # 74470, December 23, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by witness to one man show of Under Mistletoe
Christmas in a glass,
Piquant, sweet, season’s flavors;
Egg nog and spiced rum
Haiku # 74469, December 23, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Dr. Figjam of Montreal
Wait up. Hold the phone.
You can trip on epicac???
Pharmacy's open!
Haiku # 74468, December 23, 2021 4:53 pm ET
by I'm so there! of
sleitchen x is you?!
Oh wow! I'm your biggest fan!
... well, no, not really.
Haiku # 74467, December 23, 2021 4:47 pm ET
by Interesting videos, though.
Gift wrapped syllables
Do not open 'til Christmas
(there's a fart inside)
Haiku # 74463, December 23, 2021 11:35 am ET
by Fart Robot of Meth Lab
Omicron Variant:
another name for a cold.
Neurotic leftists...
Haiku # 74462, December 23, 2021 11:31 am ET
by Ahhhh CHOO of At You
If I could be three,
I would be a ho ho ho.
Bad boy all year long.

Wash my mouth with soap.
Feet turned black from coal in socks.
Captured by Krampus.
Haiku # 74460, December 23, 2021 9:23 am ET
by Do you ever get Kramps? of December 5 is the day I get gifts!
What I want this year
are Santa Claus Underoos.
I'd be a big ho.
Haiku # 74459, December 23, 2021 8:54 am ET
by Let Santa sit on your lap, Madame Dominatrix. of Santa's been a bad boy this year. Punish me good!
Thrift store underwear
also makes a good Christmas
gift stocking stuffer.
Haiku # 74458, December 23, 2021 8:50 am ET
by Prestained, ordained, and insane.
Try something different.
This Christmas, giftwrap a turd.
It's the thought that counts.
Haiku # 74457, December 23, 2021 7:06 am ET
by Thinker of Stinker
What is wrong with me???
I have given up egg nog.
I must not be well.
Haiku # 74455, December 22, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Mental disorder.
I don't think it's wrong;
leaving bombs for porch pirates.
Spread the Chistmas cheer.
Haiku # 74454, December 22, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Praise Jesus!
Banana nut bread.
The perfect Christmas dessert.
At least it is now.
Haiku # 74453, December 22, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Jesus would approve. of Put 2054 candles in it.
Petition the judge
Let me eat myself to death
Buffet behind bars
Haiku # 74452, December 22, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Incarcerated Hernia of KFC Pipeline
Which would be more fun,
electric chair, firing squad,
or hung by the neck?
Haiku # 74451, December 22, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by Until dead, dead, dead! of ... Maybe crucifixion. That would be cool.
When I'm put to death
maybe they'll give me ostrich
for my last meal.
Haiku # 74450, December 22, 2021 7:32 pm ET
by That would be nice. of Dreaming of electrified sheep.
As Tiny Tim said,
"God bless us, everyone!"
And they all ate goose.
Haiku # 74449, December 22, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by I've never eaten goose. If it's like duck, too fatty for me. of Turkey is best. Though I'd like to try ostrich some day.
Try YouPorn instead.
Upload your neighbor's wife nude,
Sunbathing topless.

No need to argue.
Just get naked and wank it.
You'll feel much better.
Haiku # 74448, December 22, 2021 6:00 pm ET
by Poly-ticks are dumb.
You send me YouTube.
I send you different YouTube.
And we get nowhere.
Haiku # 74447, December 22, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by Everyone Is An Expert These Days
i am too busy
arguing politics on
another platform
Haiku # 74446, December 22, 2021 2:25 pm ET
by vhs of no woman no cry
The language of farts.
What are your farts telling you?
Read your underwear!
Haiku # 74445, December 22, 2021 10:47 am ET
by Rita Brownstain of Bestsmelling Author
Egyptian dessert.
I call it my baklava.
Plugs up my sphinxter.
Haiku # 74444, December 22, 2021 8:25 am ET
by PISTACHIO!!!... Excuse me. of gesundheit
Liberals eat shit.
Conservatives eat lib shit.
That's recycling!
Haiku # 74443, December 22, 2021 8:20 am ET
by We're not too far away from it. Right around the corner. So to speak.
We theorize then,
when you strip off your undies,
that is ERROTIC.
Haiku # 74442, December 22, 2021 8:18 am ET
by Sigmond Freud's boner of Wear underoos next time!
I realize now,
when you strip away the fluff,
Libs are NEUROTIC.
Haiku # 74441, December 22, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Woody Allen's Therapist's Plumber of Upper Manhattan, Idaho
I am now afraid
to inhale my own breath. HELP!
I'm the new Normal.
Haiku # 74440, December 22, 2021 2:01 am ET
by Norm Normie of Norman Invasion 1066
Omigod, so scared...
New variant, omigod...
Might infect myself.
Haiku # 74439, December 22, 2021 1:57 am ET
by Locked in My Bathroom Wearing 3 Masks, Sobbing of Omigod Surge
Suicidal Acts:
One of the most compelling
books in the Bible !
Haiku # 74438, December 22, 2021 1:54 am ET
by Saint Saul of Tarsus Being Chased by Jewish Mob
Egyptian desert
I call it my litterbox
You can call me Sphinx
Haiku # 74437, December 22, 2021 12:27 am ET
by Sphinx of Litterbox (Egyptian desert)
When I take the train
I never wear any clothes.
Why my commute stinks.
Haiku # 74436, December 21, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by The only passenger with a brown ticket of Asscrak
I think it's Boeing
that you read on that chopper.
Chopped up many lads.
Haiku # 74435, December 21, 2021 11:33 am ET
by Probably Apache.
When is the last time
you tried suicidal acts?
Well, boy, that's too long!
Haiku # 74434, December 21, 2021 11:24 am ET
by Riding nude on the top of a high speed train. You can do it!
wait a minute you
said get into the choppah
do it now, did i ...
Haiku # 74433, December 21, 2021 10:08 am ET
by vhs of ...did i see Cuisnart on that chopper brand?
You have been evil.
Take responsibility.
Seek your punishment.
Haiku # 74432, December 21, 2021 8:09 am ET
by Do it now!
How do poets know
whether... nah, I won't say it.
Too predictable.
Haiku # 74431, December 21, 2021 7:37 am ET
by Q Anonymous Pooet
"Eternal Return":
Just some syphilitic thought
in Nietzsche's sick brain.
Haiku # 74430, December 21, 2021 5:43 am ET
by Hug Your Donkey of Philosophy
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