Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 83 Days and 76279 Haiku later...

Cover your eyes. We
Three kings of Orient are
about to explode.
Haiku # 74501, December 25, 2021 2:57 am ET
by Balthazar in Bulky Vest On a Mission of Detonator, Syria
Bobbing for apples...
How I love this festive day.
Wait-- Darth bobs for WHAT?
Haiku # 74500, December 25, 2021 2:51 am ET
by Uncle Emmet Pooter of Jest a-Rockin' on my Porch in a Thong and Deer Antlers
Blessed Eid Al Fitr.
Go door to door ask for eggs,
Then a nice roast ham!
Haiku # 74499, December 25, 2021 2:46 am ET
by Prince Gautama Going Out of Business of Biggest Holiday Sale Yet!
Kill the witnesses
And give each other presents
Before they revive.
Haiku # 74498, December 25, 2021 2:40 am ET
by Revelation 11:7 of Hallmark Holiday Special Drinking Eggnog On The Roof
Great Sol Invictus:
Let us slay the white heifer
And roll in warm blood.
Haiku # 74497, December 25, 2021 2:34 am ET
by Mother Theresa of Elagabalus, Ohio
It's Saturnalia!
Fall off your donkey and sing!
Hail the crowning day !
Haiku # 74496, December 25, 2021 2:27 am ET
by Summer Solstice Once More of Pass The Flaming Torch, Edna
Frankincense and myrrh
have been replaced with Febreez
(Camel dung problems)
Haiku # 74495, December 25, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Silent fart, holey underwear of Cutting Swiss Cheese
I would like to wish
a very merry Christmas
to Jesus himself.
Haiku # 74494, December 24, 2021 11:19 pm ET
by It's His birthday after all. of How would you like it if everyone wished each other happy birthday at your party but overlooked you? Not to mention presents.
I can safely say,
without any doubt at all,
that no, no we don't.
Haiku # 74493, December 24, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by Go get yourself a Happy Days ending. of I think Tom B's schlong has jumped the shark.
We just want to wish
A most merry Christmas to
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 74492, December 24, 2021 10:22 pm ET
by Children's choir standing out in the snow
We should try taking
our haiku to customer
service at WalMart.

I got this haiku
for Christmas but it's too short.
Can I get cash back?
Haiku # 74491, December 24, 2021 10:18 pm ET
by If not, store credit is fine.
You know merry and
Scary christmas, we got old
Still got the receipt
Haiku # 74490, December 24, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Vhs
Merry Christmas Darth, vhs, Janis and the awol Australian!
Haiku # 74489, December 24, 2021 10:01 pm ET
by Starkitten of PNW
Merry Christmas, y'all,
A very Happy New Year,
And Crazy Kwanza!
Haiku # 74487, December 24, 2021 9:16 pm ET
by And stuff.
That was Bo Burnham.
Check out his song Sunday School.
Yes, I ate the cheese.
Haiku # 74486, December 24, 2021 7:15 pm ET
by And tell your parents they need to take spelling lessons.
You misspelled my name
You jerked off on my Bible
You ate all my cheese!
Haiku # 74485, December 24, 2021 6:02 pm ET
by Mother Fuckin' Teresa of No H
I don't remember
ever insulting Mother
Theresa on here.

You sure that was me?
Anything is possible.
But doesn't sound right.
Haiku # 74484, December 24, 2021 4:36 pm ET
by Hitler's last fart was when he evacuated his bowels when he shot himself. of That's why I always eat high fiber food.
I would rather watch
rabbit than rabbi videos
for three hours straight.
Haiku # 74481, December 24, 2021 8:36 am ET
by Oy vay! Herschel, did you forget the salmon lox again?! of My mother's coming over and I told her we'd have salmon lox! You putz! I don't care if the prices are high! Don't be such a Jew!
David Lee's a fake.
He's never seen Panama.
Nor runs with Satan.
Haiku # 74480, December 24, 2021 8:24 am ET
by What a phony!
Contemplate nature.
Wait, I need my cellphone first.
Take lots of selfies.

Leave the world of man.
Is it even possible?
Sick of all this shit.
Haiku # 74478, December 24, 2021 8:06 am ET
by Maybe I should read Ted Kazinsky's manefesto. of Probably more poetic than this.
I saw those birds fly.
There's no even, only odd.
Even means all will die.
Haiku # 74477, December 24, 2021 6:56 am ET
by We are all equal in the eyes of the colonel. of KFC
Flightless birds will get even!
It's gizzard power!!
Haiku # 74476, December 24, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Angry Birds of Everywhere!
Is it wrong to laugh
when watching Chubbyemu
youtube videos?
Haiku # 74475, December 24, 2021 5:44 am ET
by Over the young willow.
Okay, one thing I'll ask:
What's with you and willow trees?
Symbolize something?
Haiku # 74474, December 24, 2021 5:22 am ET
by ?????????????
Drunk Yoda on floor.
Needed the money, he did.
Death sticks ain't cheap, yo.

He died for your sins.
Then he became a "Force ghost".
'Cause it makes money.
Haiku # 74473, December 24, 2021 5:15 am ET
by One billion dollars.
Jesus, you're obsessed.
Did I wrong you in some way?
Wouldn't surprise me.

Soon you'll have revenge.
Reveal yourselves to Jedi.
On YouPorn dot com.
Haiku # 74472, December 24, 2021 5:10 am ET
by Darth Isaac FigNewtonPucker of For every action, there's a troll.
One-of-a-kind gifts
Mother Teresa's dry cunt
Hitler's last known fart
Haiku # 74471, December 23, 2021 11:46 pm ET
by Old Willow Pawn Shoppe of Just past the Old Willow exit
Drunk yoga on floor.
Darth Figpucker residence.
2 sticky rum balls
Haiku # 74470, December 23, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by witness to one man show of Under Mistletoe
Christmas in a glass,
Piquant, sweet, season’s flavors;
Egg nog and spiced rum
Haiku # 74469, December 23, 2021 7:03 pm ET
by Dr. Figjam of Montreal
Wait up. Hold the phone.
You can trip on epicac???
Pharmacy's open!
Haiku # 74468, December 23, 2021 4:53 pm ET
by I'm so there! of
sleitchen x is you?!
Oh wow! I'm your biggest fan!
... well, no, not really.
Haiku # 74467, December 23, 2021 4:47 pm ET
by Interesting videos, though.
Gift wrapped syllables
Do not open 'til Christmas
(there's a fart inside)
Haiku # 74463, December 23, 2021 11:35 am ET
by Fart Robot of Meth Lab
Omicron Variant:
another name for a cold.
Neurotic leftists...
Haiku # 74462, December 23, 2021 11:31 am ET
by Ahhhh CHOO of At You
If I could be three,
I would be a ho ho ho.
Bad boy all year long.

Wash my mouth with soap.
Feet turned black from coal in socks.
Captured by Krampus.
Haiku # 74460, December 23, 2021 9:23 am ET
by Do you ever get Kramps? of December 5 is the day I get gifts!
What I want this year
are Santa Claus Underoos.
I'd be a big ho.
Haiku # 74459, December 23, 2021 8:54 am ET
by Let Santa sit on your lap, Madame Dominatrix. of Santa's been a bad boy this year. Punish me good!
Thrift store underwear
also makes a good Christmas
gift stocking stuffer.
Haiku # 74458, December 23, 2021 8:50 am ET
by Prestained, ordained, and insane.
Try something different.
This Christmas, giftwrap a turd.
It's the thought that counts.
Haiku # 74457, December 23, 2021 7:06 am ET
by Thinker of Stinker
What is wrong with me???
I have given up egg nog.
I must not be well.
Haiku # 74455, December 22, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Mental disorder.
I don't think it's wrong;
leaving bombs for porch pirates.
Spread the Chistmas cheer.
Haiku # 74454, December 22, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Praise Jesus!
Banana nut bread.
The perfect Christmas dessert.
At least it is now.
Haiku # 74453, December 22, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Jesus would approve. of Put 2054 candles in it.
Petition the judge
Let me eat myself to death
Buffet behind bars
Haiku # 74452, December 22, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by Incarcerated Hernia of KFC Pipeline
Which would be more fun,
electric chair, firing squad,
or hung by the neck?
Haiku # 74451, December 22, 2021 7:36 pm ET
by Until dead, dead, dead! of ... Maybe crucifixion. That would be cool.
When I'm put to death
maybe they'll give me ostrich
for my last meal.
Haiku # 74450, December 22, 2021 7:32 pm ET
by That would be nice. of Dreaming of electrified sheep.
As Tiny Tim said,
"God bless us, everyone!"
And they all ate goose.
Haiku # 74449, December 22, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by I've never eaten goose. If it's like duck, too fatty for me. of Turkey is best. Though I'd like to try ostrich some day.
Try YouPorn instead.
Upload your neighbor's wife nude,
Sunbathing topless.

No need to argue.
Just get naked and wank it.
You'll feel much better.
Haiku # 74448, December 22, 2021 6:00 pm ET
by Poly-ticks are dumb.
You send me YouTube.
I send you different YouTube.
And we get nowhere.
Haiku # 74447, December 22, 2021 3:55 pm ET
by Everyone Is An Expert These Days
i am too busy
arguing politics on
another platform
Haiku # 74446, December 22, 2021 2:25 pm ET
by vhs of no woman no cry
The language of farts.
What are your farts telling you?
Read your underwear!
Haiku # 74445, December 22, 2021 10:47 am ET
by Rita Brownstain of Bestsmelling Author
Egyptian dessert.
I call it my baklava.
Plugs up my sphinxter.
Haiku # 74444, December 22, 2021 8:25 am ET
by PISTACHIO!!!... Excuse me. of gesundheit
Liberals eat shit.
Conservatives eat lib shit.
That's recycling!
Haiku # 74443, December 22, 2021 8:20 am ET
by We're not too far away from it. Right around the corner. So to speak.
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