Midget peeping Tom
Always the one caught looking
Fuck this goddam ladder!

im too paranoid
to be hamlet, alas poor...
oh, fuck, who's skull that?

If you've been out-shagged,
you're one step ahead of us
other lame "poets".

well since i have been
outjoked, outfoxed, outshagged then
I'm going to bed...

Has your town been overrun by e-scooters?
Call 1-800-SCOOT-RID today!
Illegal aluminum recycler professionals you can count on.

What would you like for
my next haiku to be on?
How about stop lights?

The Wall St. Journal
ran an article on stuff
that you shouldn't buy.

Have you ever read
Emily Post's Etiquette?
It's captivating.

He drew a circle.
Next to that he drew a square.
Then a triangle.

Entropenis?
Sound like a catheter brand name.
Probably made in China.

If you put a catheter up your nose you can douche out your nasal cavity and beat a covid RT-PCR test. 1 liter water, 3 large spoons iodized salt, 1 spoon baking soda, 1 spoon baby shampoo, 10 drops of 10% iodine solution.

By supporting communism, we give them money to promote communism. Remember when the USSR fell... that was artificial. Get us to let our guard down. My opinion. Could be wrong.

entropy vs penis?
chaos vs order? death, life?
moral systems, duh?

Because we support communism.
If you don't believe it, look on all the products you buy. Where are they made? We buy them b/c we are greedy capitalists, and their products are cheap. And this isn't a haiku!

Oh, look what you made me do. Look what you made me do.... I forget the rest of that song. Proudly.

Evil versus good.
But what do they even mean?
Not sure they are real.

why is communism
being promoted so strongly
by the media?

Momma always said,
"Evil is as evil does."
Have some chocolates.

Nascar castration.
Nastration Castrol oil.
Castor bean toxins.

that's true, but if smart
people do not take the cue
of honor from them

the bad guys will rule
over them and do bad things
so it's not dumb so

much as "evil" folks

How can it be that
stupid people have power?
The answer's simple.

Smart people don't want it!

nascar has leaders
that promote social justice
get woke, castrate self

its the end of the
world or the big fuck up at
a new beginning.

you know those with the
power are often stupid
how do they get it?

I'm calling grandma.
"You have reached grandma. Press one..."
For Christ's fucking sake!

The problem is that
everyone wants to be heard
but will not do shit.

plan 9 haiku from
outer space with bad spelling
lets go lugosi

years ago i did
not realize i would artitiulate
my thoughts here

The gold is in there,
deep inside your filthy guts.
Who will retrieve it?

Where's the gold hidden?
This town isn't big enough
for the both of us

Ready for Jesus
If you knew he was coming
would you bake a cake?

Apocalypse Pro
These Jim Bakker Food Buckets
double as latrine

Those other three months
A Dogeater centerfold
Foamy wave. Nude seagull.

Hey Darth -- can you dance?
I bet you are so clumsy . . .
But I might be wrong.

vhs, featured
August,February, June
(Poetic poses)

The Australian guy
January, March, July
(A peek Down Under)

Saved the best for last
October, November and
red hot Darthcember

Men of Bad Haiku
New for 2022!
All Nude Calendar

Figpucker, are you there?
Is it Darthlight Savings time?
Give us more haiku

Is it possible?
Did you find the hidden gold?
War crimes and mai tais.

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Starkitten coked-up:
thought she was D. Figpucker
living on the Rez...

"Crud's" a bit vague,
but if unidentified,
what else to call it?

Things you find in beards.
toast crumbs, spit, lint, germs, dead skin
soup residue, debris, crud

Christmas is cancelled
because my greasy balls itch.
See you next year, folks!

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Just letting you know
I haven't slept in 2 days
Not even catnaps

The world makes no sense.
But Bad Haiku DOES make sense.
Totally makes sense.

You're only elite
if you can evade taxes
and snort lots of coke.

That movie "To Live"
By Zhang Yi Mo is so great.
You should see that film.

Elite trick or treat
smell my feet, give me something
very good to eat.

I'm finding the folks
who call themselves "elite" on
a stupid power

trip.

well you know when you've
shown you haven't smooched death for
well since 2011

there's a larger world
with power hungry leaders
rumored to perverse

DF is just...DF...

Looking back on life,
I've not done one thing that's good.
Not one fucking thing.