Where's the gold hidden?
This town isn't big enough
for the both of us

Ready for Jesus
If you knew he was coming
would you bake a cake?

Apocalypse Pro
These Jim Bakker Food Buckets
double as latrine

Those other three months
A Dogeater centerfold
Foamy wave. Nude seagull.

Hey Darth -- can you dance?
I bet you are so clumsy . . .
But I might be wrong.

vhs, featured
August,February, June
(Poetic poses)

The Australian guy
January, March, July
(A peek Down Under)

Saved the best for last
October, November and
red hot Darthcember

Men of Bad Haiku
New for 2022!
All Nude Calendar

Figpucker, are you there?
Is it Darthlight Savings time?
Give us more haiku

Is it possible?
Did you find the hidden gold?
War crimes and mai tais.

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Starkitten coked-up:
thought she was D. Figpucker
living on the Rez...

"Crud's" a bit vague,
but if unidentified,
what else to call it?

Things you find in beards.
toast crumbs, spit, lint, germs, dead skin
soup residue, debris, crud

Christmas is cancelled
because my greasy balls itch.
See you next year, folks!

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Увидимся!
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Just letting you know
I haven't slept in 2 days
Not even catnaps

The world makes no sense.
But Bad Haiku DOES make sense.
Totally makes sense.

You're only elite
if you can evade taxes
and snort lots of coke.

That movie "To Live"
By Zhang Yi Mo is so great.
You should see that film.

Elite trick or treat
smell my feet, give me something
very good to eat.

I'm finding the folks
who call themselves "elite" on
a stupid power

trip.

well you know when you've
shown you haven't smooched death for
well since 2011

there's a larger world
with power hungry leaders
rumored to perverse

DF is just...DF...

Looking back on life,
I've not done one thing that's good.
Not one fucking thing.

But...

I did what I wilt.
Unlike the flowers I grew.
They wilted badly.

Unlike... Oh, never mind.

Drive, drive, drive your car
Gently down the street.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is such a treat.

Revving up junk cars
All night piling furniture
Meth heads get shit done

These may be roof rats
They certainly aren't reindeer
(no jingling of bells)

Get off that rez, chief.
I got some wampum for ya.
And big firewater.

Darth, you were so nice
to old Moxie/VHS
when he returned here.

No rug-chewing jokes.
And none of that "Brandon" stuff.
We am enlightened.

What did you say there . . .
Rattus Norvegicus? Hmmm.
The Stranglers album?

I need some long johns
It's cold around the diggings
I like the look, too

Is a war coming?
Proof that China released covid
intentionally.

Eat the podium.
You stupid black and white bear.
It's made of bamboo.

Pandemonium.
Panda on a podium.
We want more bamboo.

Capitalism.
The world is falling apart.
I blame Jeff Bezos.

Scatological,
the Rattus norvegicus
'went' in my rice bowl.

Your vermin update
:;:;:;:;:;;;;:::;;;:::;;;:::;;;:::;:::
;:::;;;;;;;:::;; :;;;;;;;;;;:::;;;;;;;;;

The weirdos next door
All night handyman projects
Power tools, hammers

Getting computer
Soon I will see Dogeater
as well as the gull

The inconvenience
Underwear stuck in your crack
Commando for life!

Haiku podium
Fall down foaming at the mouth
Might as well chew rug

That's a mushy one
Is it Valentine's Day yet?
Do we get chocolates?

That's a mushy one
Is it Valentine's Day yet?
Do we get chocolates?

I love all of you.
I spit upon all of you.
Because you are DAMNED.

You, MashaKY,
KY your ass, Russian bot.
I smell it from here.

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ROBIN TROWER. Yes.
Bridge of Sighs. I love that disc.
Enter in to bliss . . .

I am everyone.
So that means you are no one.
And you don't exist.

A magical POOF.
You vanish into thin air.
Just like my paycheck.

Venerable sage:
Yes you, in the funny hat.
Are you Chink or Jap?