How can it be that
stupid people have power?
The answer's simple.

Smart people don't want it!

nascar has leaders
that promote social justice
get woke, castrate self

its the end of the
world or the big fuck up at
a new beginning.

you know those with the
power are often stupid
how do they get it?

I'm calling grandma.
"You have reached grandma. Press one..."
For Christ's fucking sake!

The problem is that
everyone wants to be heard
but will not do shit.

plan 9 haiku from
outer space with bad spelling
lets go lugosi

years ago i did
not realize i would artitiulate
my thoughts here

The gold is in there,
deep inside your filthy guts.
Who will retrieve it?

Where's the gold hidden?
This town isn't big enough
for the both of us

Ready for Jesus
If you knew he was coming
would you bake a cake?

Apocalypse Pro
These Jim Bakker Food Buckets
double as latrine

Those other three months
A Dogeater centerfold
Foamy wave. Nude seagull.

Hey Darth -- can you dance?
I bet you are so clumsy . . .
But I might be wrong.

vhs, featured
August,February, June
(Poetic poses)

The Australian guy
January, March, July
(A peek Down Under)

Saved the best for last
October, November and
red hot Darthcember

Men of Bad Haiku
New for 2022!
All Nude Calendar

Figpucker, are you there?
Is it Darthlight Savings time?
Give us more haiku

Is it possible?
Did you find the hidden gold?
War crimes and mai tais.

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Starkitten coked-up:
thought she was D. Figpucker
living on the Rez...

"Crud's" a bit vague,
but if unidentified,
what else to call it?

Things you find in beards.
toast crumbs, spit, lint, germs, dead skin
soup residue, debris, crud

Christmas is cancelled
because my greasy balls itch.
See you next year, folks!

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Just letting you know
I haven't slept in 2 days
Not even catnaps

The world makes no sense.
But Bad Haiku DOES make sense.
Totally makes sense.

You're only elite
if you can evade taxes
and snort lots of coke.

That movie "To Live"
By Zhang Yi Mo is so great.
You should see that film.

Elite trick or treat
smell my feet, give me something
very good to eat.

I'm finding the folks
who call themselves "elite" on
a stupid power

trip.

well you know when you've
shown you haven't smooched death for
well since 2011

there's a larger world
with power hungry leaders
rumored to perverse

DF is just...DF...

Looking back on life,
I've not done one thing that's good.
Not one fucking thing.

But...

I did what I wilt.
Unlike the flowers I grew.
They wilted badly.

Unlike... Oh, never mind.

Drive, drive, drive your car
Gently down the street.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is such a treat.

Revving up junk cars
All night piling furniture
Meth heads get shit done

These may be roof rats
They certainly aren't reindeer
(no jingling of bells)

Get off that rez, chief.
I got some wampum for ya.
And big firewater.

Darth, you were so nice
to old Moxie/VHS
when he returned here.

No rug-chewing jokes.
And none of that "Brandon" stuff.
We am enlightened.

What did you say there . . .
Rattus Norvegicus? Hmmm.
The Stranglers album?

I need some long johns
It's cold around the diggings
I like the look, too

Is a war coming?
Proof that China released covid
intentionally.

Eat the podium.
You stupid black and white bear.
It's made of bamboo.

Pandemonium.
Panda on a podium.
We want more bamboo.

Capitalism.
The world is falling apart.
I blame Jeff Bezos.

Scatological,
the Rattus norvegicus
'went' in my rice bowl.

Your vermin update
:;:;:;:;:;;;;:::;;;:::;;;:::;;;:::;:::
;:::;;;;;;;:::;; :;;;;;;;;;;:::;;;;;;;;;

The weirdos next door
All night handyman projects
Power tools, hammers

Getting computer
Soon I will see Dogeater
as well as the gull

The inconvenience
Underwear stuck in your crack
Commando for life!