Matt Archer, come on
down, you're the next contestant
on the Price is Right.

I code all day long
but want to write bad haiku
point web browser east

Hell has no furry,
supple, purring, android fish
as far as I know

lazy coworkers
lazier even than me
they shall be destroyed

Stuck in a meeting
Won't someone jusk kill me now
At least they served lunch

Frantic day becomes
Restful and silent night - save
A whistling booger

Cold hard internet
Gives me no interaction
So I go crazy

Cold hard internet
Gives me no interaction
So I go crazy

Cold hard internet
Gives me no interaction
So I go crazy

This place is like a
Technology museum
Sixty megahertz

If I had speakers
I'd listen to some music
Or maybe the news

There are posters here
That talk about past products
That never got made

I've looked everywhere
Behind the lotion bottle
Under the porno

Some fingernail grease
Won't come out, no matter how
much masturbation

I should do something
More useful or productive
I work by the hour

There's too much poop here.
Germans like that sort of thing
Beer tastes like pee pee.

Unix Screensaver
Geometric crap on screen
Look, a cockroach butt

I smoke cigarettes
Scotch Buy, cheapest at the store
Rot my lungs out now

They call him Porky
Porky, king of the ocean
Faster than lightning

A green flower sits
Communication open
In my system tray

I sleep during days
Graveyard weekend powershift
Hating the night fall

unf-alacious, like:
deliciously unf-able
so now you get it

look at me
look at you
what are we writing?
oh it's just haiku

Error 404 lost or missing page
We'd tell you where it is
but then, I have to delete you

Lost Files, Death and Taxes
These happen inevitably
Guess which just happened?

unfalaciously
yours,and cuddlelingually
whores - better of you.

kiss her on the lips
over the telephone line...
oh, so far away!

a beautiful girl
in my bed this afternoon...
but i'm at office :(

beautiful girl
oh so uninterested
she's unfalicious

I must go to sleep.
Tomorrow I will be back.
The same Bat HomePage.

No jeans at work now.
Business casual dress code.
I show up in skirt.

Smell my glove Freida
By the way - my glove is big
And so is my hand

Why do I come back?
I must read all the haikus.
Keeps me up at night.

The moon's on my house
Bare limbs anticipate Spring
Damn, My house is strong

Paver's big belly
won't fit in the Grand Canyon
and it is hairless.

The opening scene
A cow pooping on a grave
Anson Wiliams stars

Take these highlighters,
go color in the universe
and we'll all go blind

my ankles shattered,
my body flies when I'm hit
-shoes stuck to hot tar

rightous?

Bung Daddy's butt crack
the Grand canyon of the west
only hairier

Porn star with a gun
walked right into my bathroom
and blew me away

Saw rightous b-ball
in a great western town
Wisconsin went down

Crystalize my words.
Cement my thoughts and feelings.
Solidify me.

Brown trout going down

Brown trout doing down
Heading to turd factory for
a little recycling

i i i i i
i i i cough cough cough cough
it's yoko choko

Crap your pants Paver
It will increase your I.Q.
and mask your cologne

Paver's vagina
is cavernous dark deep
Where are my car keys

are you odb?
odb's name is randall?
Wu-tang is exposed

After brushing molars,
I swish and spit gobs of goo.
sexy dental hygene