Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 163 Days and 77044 Haiku later...

Actually, no, the electric socket doesn't have near enough juice. Maybe if you have some special 440 outlet and go from one hand to the outlet and the other to a water pipe (ground). And it's the current that gets you... so have to bypass the breaker if possible. It's harder than you think... so many safety precautions these days.
Haiku # 68080, September 19, 2020 6:26 am ET
by Your welcome.

Sweet blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thanks finja bemix high tech
Haiku # 68079, September 19, 2020 12:14 am ET
by of Switzerland
If you stick a fork
in electrical socket
You will get your wish
Haiku # 68078, September 18, 2020 11:49 pm ET
by Drunk of Barstool
I love high voltage.
If ever I'm put to death,
I hope it's the chair.
Haiku # 68077, September 18, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by Force lightening shoots out my ass.
It's going to get worse.
Polarization times ten.
Fuck all the zombies.
Haiku # 68076, September 18, 2020 5:51 pm ET
by The Wrath of the Lord shall be Sweet
Her Kill Switch installed . . .
but in the wrong place.
Walkin' funny now.
Haiku # 68075, September 18, 2020 7:46 am ET
by Homage to Darth, of Course
My neck might explode.
Installed "suicide" implant.
How they control me.
Haiku # 68074, September 18, 2020 3:43 am ET
by Scrotie McBoogerballs
In line at the hospital.
It's not covid.
But it might be cancer.
Let us pray.
Haiku # 68073, September 18, 2020 3:14 am ET
by This world sucks ass anyway.
Return of The Spam!
I want to attach dick pics.
Show some poet schlong.
Haiku # 68072, September 17, 2020 8:50 pm ET
by asdf
To live forever,
you need to drink more water
and stop smoking crack.
Haiku # 68070, September 17, 2020 2:45 am ET
by Dr. Satan's intern
I need a robot.
One that can post haiku here,
deny what it is.
Haiku # 68069, September 16, 2020 10:12 pm ET
by Too lazy to do this.
After a great deal of effort,
sphincter pinching and
wiggling, it finally fell in.

The Fonz praised Jesus,
as he always did after
pooing. Because heeeeeey,
he is cool.

He snapped his fingers
and a cute HS girls proceeded
to wipe his bum.
Haiku # 68068, September 16, 2020 8:11 pm ET
by Memoirs of Ron Howard
Great masturbate.
Contemplate ejaculate.
Pontificate irrate constabulate.
Defecate undulate gyrate.
Haiku # 68067, September 16, 2020 7:56 pm ET
by The squirell.
Is the stupidest of all.
It's just plain foolish.
Haiku # 68066, September 16, 2020 7:37 pm ET
by Mbengi Mbundu of Great Zimbabwe
We are here for God's entertainment.
He's a sick twisted little child.
End your life now.
Deprive Him of His enjoyment.
THAT is rebellion.
Haiku # 68065, September 16, 2020 5:42 pm ET
by Exit existance stage left.
why should one bother
to contemplate existence
except to distract ?
Haiku # 68064, September 16, 2020 9:23 am ET
by ash
i'm sick of covid
endless updates inflicting
terminal ennui
Haiku # 68063, September 16, 2020 9:12 am ET
by ash
He's the Good Shepherd.
Grazing near the slaughterhouse,
Sheep are unaware.
Haiku # 68062, September 16, 2020 9:10 am ET
by Groovy Shepherd/Carpenter of Cosmic Love
Have you ever had
Mary's lamb at a "love fest"?
Well, let me tell you...

There's mutton like it!
My God, that was Whoreable.
Please pass the mint sauce.
Haiku # 68061, September 15, 2020 9:05 pm ET
by How many of you have had Covid-19 yet? of I didn't think so.
Have you ever sung
Mary Had a Little Lamb
at a hate rally?
Haiku # 68060, September 15, 2020 8:08 pm ET
by Totally worth it.
You can grab pussy.
As long as you're very rich.
I think I'll sell guns.

Then I'll own the world.
Move up to missiles and bombs.
Nuclear maybe?
Haiku # 68059, September 14, 2020 10:28 pm ET
by Jesus Christ! I really am thinking like a Sith Lord! of And thank God for that!
We've got the best slaves.
Totally obedient.
Grab them anywhere.
Haiku # 68058, September 14, 2020 10:25 pm ET
by I like Donald's hair. of No really, I do!
I would like a slave.
White or black, I do not care.
Vote for Donald Trump!
Haiku # 68057, September 14, 2020 10:23 pm ET
by I'm going to come out and identify as a black female. of And hold the party in California
So who thinks the US will erupt into another civil war? Of course the far right will win b/c they have had a lot of time to stockpile weapons while the left just whines. Then China will destroy what's left. Doom and gloom, doom and gloom.
Haiku # 68056, September 14, 2020 10:20 pm ET
by I can only hope.
Bullies. Loud Maoists.
Belligerent Leftist Mob
Bad Loudmouth Menace
Haiku # 68055, September 14, 2020 10:04 pm ET
by Behaving Like Monkies of Boiling Low Mentality
waiting for godot
a great play, but wait there's more!
now it's a board game
Haiku # 68054, September 14, 2020 9:30 pm ET
by scotch of
will break all your spaghetti
unless you slapp like
Haiku # 68053, September 14, 2020 9:22 pm ET
by scotch of hooked on bass

W X Y & Z.
Now I know some shit.
Haiku # 68052, September 14, 2020 7:44 pm ET
by There, I fixed it!
Oh, shit, I left off y.
And now balls itch.
So, haiku will have to wait.
Haiku # 68051, September 14, 2020 2:46 pm ET
by nuts

W X & Z.
Now I know some shit.
Haiku # 68050, September 14, 2020 2:45 pm ET
by W is a strange one. of 3 syllables for the price of one.
Call the Haiku Squad.
Too many syllables here.
Law and order NOW.
Haiku # 68049, September 14, 2020 10:20 am ET
by Haiku Purge of National Renewal
There's a rabbid squirrel hiding in Donald Trump's hair. It foams at the mouth and tells him what to do. It writes his tweets for him. Obey the squirrel or you will all die! This is not on Fox or CNN, so you know it's real. This is Truth! Everything on is Truth. Terrific website. The best poets.
Haiku # 68048, September 13, 2020 11:56 pm ET
by The candiru fish in the asshole of Vladamir Putin
The Mexicans can remain free
as long as they continue to work.
Native Americans and
Eskimoes (Inuits if you prefer)
will be transfered to Detroit
to build cars, because why not.

War with Canada is imminent.
The continent will be called
New Chinese Annex.
Haiku # 68047, September 13, 2020 9:55 pm ET
by As if it's not already
China owns the US.
The chinks bought it from Russia.
And one billion jars of beet borscht
as part of the bargain.
I swear it's true! Look it up!
Haiku # 68046, September 13, 2020 9:51 pm ET
by History is awesome!
I'm a shout in your face now:
Haiku # 68044, September 13, 2020 6:11 am ET
by Harmony of These United States
Communist sniper
Marxist marksman
Haiku # 68043, September 12, 2020 7:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If I was a black woman,
I'd loot too.
If I was just there I would loot.
And probably shoot some ppl too.
That's my TV mofo! I saw it first!
blam blam.
Look what that cop did!
He shot that defenseless black guy.
Scuse me, have to get this TV home.
Yes, I have 6 already, but one more
can't hurt, can it?
Haiku # 68042, September 12, 2020 7:53 pm ET
by Pasty Priveleged and Proud. of I'm going to loot Melanin pills and become black.
Blak Lesbo Marxists.
wait . . . Bitter Loud Matriarchs;
Bad Looting Mothers
Haiku # 68041, September 12, 2020 11:33 am ET
by Barbaric Lunatic Madwoman of BLM
But seriously,
My views on that fateful day
Have since changed greatly . . .
Haiku # 68040, September 12, 2020 9:49 am ET
by Thermite Charges of Planned Destruction
Trump was made aware
Two years before it happened.
All hail God's prophet!
Haiku # 68039, September 12, 2020 9:47 am ET
by Dancing Israelis of Jersey City
read this bad haiku
satisfaction guaranteed
or your money back
Haiku # 68038, September 12, 2020 9:17 am ET
by ash
9/11 passed and not one rememberance in the form of a haiku. I guess in the end we did forget.

Two buildings came down.
It was a horrible day.
And keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 68037, September 12, 2020 6:50 am ET
by The downward spiral collapse of civilization.
Took fifteen minutes
To write three shitty haiku
Still better than you
Haiku # 68036, September 12, 2020 3:04 am ET
by Professor Poopypants of You may thank me now
Grace Slick was a chick
Who got fat and grew a dick
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 68035, September 12, 2020 3:00 am ET
by Made you look of You just got Rick rolled
Spotted and dotted
Also never forgotted
Old tissue snotted
Haiku # 68034, September 12, 2020 2:54 am ET
by Poops on Duck of Chinese blowback
Lamb is delicious
So is owl from time to time
Prefer them spotted
Haiku # 68033, September 12, 2020 2:45 am ET
by Jesus is lard of The dirty boulevard
Surely you have gone TOO FAR.
Surely you are DAMNED.
Haiku # 68032, September 11, 2020 6:24 pm ET
by Loving Grace of God's Spotless Lamb
Wear a condom.
Just wear the Goddamn condom!
You'll thank me.
Haiku # 68031, September 11, 2020 4:12 pm ET
As vulgar, foul, and heinous as I might be, Jesus still loves me more than you. I asked him when he had had a lot of wine. He prefers honesty over lies. An honest fart is more beautiful than a false poem... As long as you don't shart yourself while wearing khaki shorts. That's what Jesus told me. He lives three houses down across the street. Yes, he has a valid green card -- don't you dare call INS!
Haiku # 68030, September 11, 2020 4:08 pm ET
The men stood around
comparing the lengths of their
bad haiku poems
Haiku # 68029, September 11, 2020 9:47 am ET
by Unnoticed Poet of Undisclosed
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