My neck might explode.
Installed "suicide" implant.
How they control me.

In line at the hospital.
It's not covid.
But it might be cancer.
Let us pray.

Return of The Spam!
I want to attach dick pics.
Show some poet schlong.

To live forever,
you need to drink more water
and stop smoking crack.

I need a robot.
One that can post haiku here,
deny what it is.

"Plop."
After a great deal of effort,
sphincter pinching and
wiggling, it finally fell in.

The Fonz praised Jesus,
as he always did after
pooing. Because heeeeeey,
he is cool.

He snapped his fingers
and a cute HS girls proceeded
to wipe his bum.

Great masturbate.
Contemplate ejaculate.
Pontificate irrate constabulate.
Defecate undulate gyrate.
Wait.

Afrocentrism
Is the stupidest of all.
It's just plain foolish.

We are here for God's entertainment.
He's a sick twisted little child.
End your life now.
Deprive Him of His enjoyment.
THAT is rebellion.

why should one bother
to contemplate existence
except to distract ?

i'm sick of covid
endless updates inflicting
terminal ennui

He's the Good Shepherd.
Grazing near the slaughterhouse,
Sheep are unaware.

Have you ever had
Mary's lamb at a "love fest"?
Well, let me tell you...

There's mutton like it!
My God, that was Whoreable.
Please pass the mint sauce.

Have you ever sung
Mary Had a Little Lamb
at a hate rally?

You can grab pussy.
As long as you're very rich.
I think I'll sell guns.

Then I'll own the world.
Move up to missiles and bombs.
Nuclear maybe?

We've got the best slaves.
Totally obedient.
Grab them anywhere.

I would like a slave.
White or black, I do not care.
Vote for Donald Trump!

So who thinks the US will erupt into another civil war? Of course the far right will win b/c they have had a lot of time to stockpile weapons while the left just whines. Then China will destroy what's left. Doom and gloom, doom and gloom.

Bullies. Loud Maoists.
Belligerent Leftist Mob
Bad Loudmouth Menace

waiting for godot
a great play, but wait there's more!
now it's a board game

Davie504
will break all your spaghetti
unless you slapp like

A B C D E
F G H I J K L
M N O P Q

R S T U V
W X Y & Z.
Now I know some shit.

Oh, shit, I left off y.
And now balls itch.
So, haiku will have to wait.

A B C D E
F G H I J K L
M N O P Q

R S T U V
W X & Z.
Now I know some shit.

Call the Haiku Squad.
Too many syllables here.
Law and order NOW.

There's a rabbid squirrel hiding in Donald Trump's hair. It foams at the mouth and tells him what to do. It writes his tweets for him. Obey the squirrel or you will all die! This is not on Fox or CNN, so you know it's real. This is Truth! Everything on Badhaiku.com is Truth. Terrific website. The best poets.

The Mexicans can remain free
as long as they continue to work.
Native Americans and
Eskimoes (Inuits if you prefer)
will be transfered to Detroit
to build cars, because why not.

War with Canada is imminent.
The continent will be called
New Chinese Annex.

China owns the US.
The chinks bought it from Russia.
And one billion jars of beet borscht
as part of the bargain.
I swear it's true! Look it up!

BlakBlakBlakBlakBlak
I'm a shout in your face now:
WhiteWhiteWhiteWhiteWhite

Communist sniper
Marxist marksman

If I was a black woman,
I'd loot too.
If I was just there I would loot.
And probably shoot some ppl too.
That's my TV mofo! I saw it first!
blam blam.
Look what that cop did!
He shot that defenseless black guy.
Scuse me, have to get this TV home.
Yes, I have 6 already, but one more
can't hurt, can it?

Blak Lesbo Marxists.
wait . . . Bitter Loud Matriarchs;
Bad Looting Mothers

But seriously,
My views on that fateful day
Have since changed greatly . . .

Trump was made aware
Two years before it happened.
All hail God's prophet!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtRtPjrG4lE&feature=youtu.be

read this bad haiku
satisfaction guaranteed
or your money back

9/11 passed and not one rememberance in the form of a haiku. I guess in the end we did forget.

Two buildings came down.
It was a horrible day.
And keeps getting worse.

Took fifteen minutes
To write three shitty haiku
Still better than you

Grace Slick was a chick
Who got fat and grew a dick
Tom Bosley's penis

Spotted and dotted
Also never forgotted
Old tissue snotted

Lamb is delicious
So is owl from time to time
Prefer them spotted

Oh, such BLASPHEMY.
Surely you have gone TOO FAR.
Surely you are DAMNED.

Wear a condom.
Just wear the Goddamn condom!
You'll thank me.

As vulgar, foul, and heinous as I might be, Jesus still loves me more than you. I asked him when he had had a lot of wine. He prefers honesty over lies. An honest fart is more beautiful than a false poem... As long as you don't shart yourself while wearing khaki shorts. That's what Jesus told me. He lives three houses down across the street. Yes, he has a valid green card -- don't you dare call INS!

The men stood around
comparing the lengths of their
bad haiku poems

One two three four five
six seven etcetera
because I'm lazy.

in bombastic ways
anagrammatic displays
earn fantastic praise

rampach cramphar marchap parmach charpam charmap crampah hamparc chamrap archmap harmcap

A character map.
That's what he meant. But Darth needs
a character SLAP.

Your rampach is dicklicksic.
So if I could borrow it some time...

Therapy is overrated and a way to
shovel money into the pockets
of scam artists. Like Freud.

Look Sigmund, if I want to bang
my mom, that's my business
but honestly, I don't want to
have to buy the extra Depends
undergarments that would be
required.

The reason therapy works is
so that we can deny the fact
that we got scammed. It's like
a placebo, really. Give someone
money and you will imagine
that what you gave them money
for is actually working. That way
you won't consider yourself
stupid.

Example, I bought a whore for
a wife and fooled myself into
thinking she was a good person.

unfortunately
your champar is dyslexic
and needs therapy