BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
342 Days
68418 Haikus
Try deep breathing. OMmmmm...
Center yourself and be still.
Now --- shoot the place up !
Haiku #66795, by Poor Example of a Yoga Practitioner
January 28, 2020 3:40 pm ET

Yes brothers it's TIME !
My righteous sisters, IT'S TIME
To END the whole show.
Haiku #66794, by Having a Tough Day with a Magazine Full of Hollow-Point Ammunition
January 28, 2020 3:28 pm ET

Oh Virgin Mary,
If only I were Catholic
I could pray to you.
Haiku #66793, by Jesus Christ's siblings of Nazareth (because love hurts)
January 28, 2020 3:24 pm ET

I love you Jesus!
Now, can you take me out of
this horrible dream?
Haiku #66792, by Severed Head of John the Baptist
January 28, 2020 3:20 pm ET

You will obey me.
You will remain in the car.
While I kill your friend
Haiku #66791, by Too Many True Crime Bedtime Stories
January 28, 2020 3:17 pm ET

Just getting started.
I stole the crown from Basho.
Haiku'ed myself straight!
Haiku #66790, by Some Boring Jap in a Screen Painting
January 28, 2020 3:15 pm ET

Ass Stimulation:
It starts as Darth Figpucker...
Ends shitting itself.
Haiku #66789, by Darth this is your Mom. Come home for Dinner!
January 28, 2020 3:13 pm ET

No mere A.I. bot
shall ever approximate
my haiku brilliance
Haiku #66788, by Cognitively Impaired Loser Passed Out in Pool of his Own Vomit
January 28, 2020 3:10 pm ET

Yo this website sux.
Stupid-ass people be like:
I'm a write some shit.
Haiku #66787, by Tyree Tyrone of Kangistan
January 28, 2020 3:04 pm ET

As it wast above,
So mayest it be below.
Hail, shining seraph!
Haiku #66786, by Your Humble Local Warlock of Luciferian Satanism
January 28, 2020 3:00 pm ET

Oh most Holy Lord
Bless thou Donald Trump. Amen.
You may all rise now.
Haiku #66785, by The Right Reverend Rector Roberts of Rotheringham
January 28, 2020 2:58 pm ET

Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck
Donald Trump. Fuck Donald Trump.
(O.K. mom, I'm done.)
Haiku #66784, by Woke-Ass Bitches of Da Streetz
January 28, 2020 2:54 pm ET

Starts with waves of plebeians
who never do it.
Haiku #66783, by Amurica, Social Services of the Failed World
January 28, 2020 2:52 pm ET

Ass stimulation
It starts as stimulation
And then they stretch it
Haiku #66782, by Donald Ass Trump of Turd Burglar
January 28, 2020 2:03 pm ET

Practice Mindfulness
Remember close toilet seat
Please remember flush
Haiku #66781, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
January 28, 2020 4:34 am ET

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Haiku #66780, by Health and Wellness Blog of united state
January 28, 2020 1:35 am ET

history reveals
it starts as stimulation
and then they stretch it
Haiku #66779, by ash
January 27, 2020 10:02 pm ET

Hey, Mister Bill Gates:
Get yourself vaccinated.
Tell us how it goes.
Haiku #66778, by Bat Soup of Malthusian Solutions
January 27, 2020 10:42 am ET

Bill Gates orgasms
Every plague: antihumans
Please start with yourselves
Haiku #66777, by Depopulation of Corporate Feudalists
January 27, 2020 12:45 am ET

You lite so poolry
rousy poetry, gaijin.
Who order noodle?
Haiku #66776, by Stereotypical Caricature of Nippon
January 26, 2020 5:50 pm ET

Git over here Clem;
Haiku done broke up muh still.
Moon still shinin' tho . . .
Haiku #66775, by Distillery of Discovery
January 26, 2020 5:28 pm ET

I need more haiku.
Don't want Facebook, no Twitter
Just more haiku, please.
Haiku #66774, by Flavor of Ovaltine
January 26, 2020 5:25 pm ET

histaminic hell
making my red eyes scratchy
while my nose dribbles
Haiku #66773, by ash
January 26, 2020 7:22 am ET

Reflux distinctly
Or spell your scheming chem-trails:
That's obfuscation.
Haiku #66772, by Imitation of Flattery
January 26, 2020 6:03 am ET

reflect succinctly
or spill your steaming entrails
that's education
Haiku #66771, by ash
January 26, 2020 5:45 am ET

Zombies and werewolves
Masturbating by moonlight
Haiku #66770, by Brad Putt of 19th green
January 25, 2020 7:22 pm ET

If u feel bloated
then you need to release gas.
Hence, this haiku site.
Haiku #66769, by School of Flatulence
January 24, 2020 4:16 pm ET

i put a joke on
here, and they expand on it
I'm feeling bloated
Haiku #66768, by vhs
January 24, 2020 1:08 pm ET

Them damn federulz...
If they come round here agin,
I'll pepper their hide!
Haiku #66767, by Pappy Yokum of Corncob Pipe VA
January 24, 2020 9:16 am ET

You're on the side of
Homosexual Marxists.
Go on, admit it.
Haiku #66766, by Frankfurt School of Frankfart
January 24, 2020 9:11 am ET

Order and chaos
Had child: named "Reality"
Child support: Cosmos
Haiku #66765, by Construct of Under Construction
January 24, 2020 3:16 am ET

Gawd Damn It Woman
Quit moving my stuff around
Can't fooking find it!

Pt 1 of two parts quit moving my stuff @#$%^%!!!
Haiku #66764, by Walt Tripp of Hut in Hawgsback woods
January 24, 2020 1:46 am ET

If you do not stop!
I will spank your @$$ damn hard!
Is that what you want?
Haiku #66763, by Walt Tripp of Hut in Hawgsback woods
January 24, 2020 1:43 am ET

Trump shadow boxing
Looking at you, Mike Bloomberg
Kick your fucking ass
Haiku #66762, by Donald J Trump of White House
January 24, 2020 1:22 am ET

Order loves chaos
And chaos loves order, too
So they got married
Haiku #66761, by Construct of Deconstruction
January 24, 2020 1:07 am ET

Order loves chaos
And chaos loves order, too
But they got divorced
Haiku #66760, by Construct of Construction
January 24, 2020 1:05 am ET

chaos vs order
or order vs chaos, so
easy to ger those two

things disorganized
Haiku #66759, by vhs
January 24, 2020 12:09 am ET

Light in the darkness
All is violence, all is peace
Existence is odd
Haiku #66758, by dvd
January 23, 2020 11:47 pm ET

i chewed tobacco a
long time ago and wonder
how much in total?
Haiku #66757, by vhs
January 23, 2020 12:09 pm ET

STOP: Haiku alert!
You got to watch this Gong Show.
(the hillbilly dude)
Haiku #66756, by Jed Clampett of Unclamped
January 23, 2020 8:23 am ET

I got a idea:
How bout write us some haiku
on any old theme...
Haiku #66755, by Clem of Jest a-Settin on muh Cabin Porch
January 23, 2020 8:15 am ET

Frigging politics
Just minding my own business
I am innocent
Haiku #66754, by Ham Sandwich of Indictment
January 23, 2020 12:56 am ET

I'm trying to help
myself by exercizing
i might die but i

had a heart attack
so i have an urge to fight
and beat this damn thing
Haiku #66753, by vhs
January 22, 2020 10:33 pm ET

since i want to live
and not die, i don't need your
help living either

so AOC...fuck off
Haiku #66752, by vhs
January 22, 2020 10:28 pm ET

if i want to die
I'll just blow my own brains out
i don't need your help
Haiku #66751, by vhs
January 22, 2020 10:27 pm ET

We will furry you
All of us: soft and fluffy
Prepare to cuddle
Haiku #66750, by Adorable Critters of Frolicking Fields
January 22, 2020 9:34 pm ET

We will bury you.
All of you: soft and useless.
Prepare for your death.
Haiku #66749, by Medo-Persian Invasion Force of Shushan Citadel
January 22, 2020 7:59 pm ET

That's all a big lie!
The phone bill was enormous!
Phone sex was bad too.
Haiku #66748, by Totally not worth it. of 1-800-Fat-chix
January 22, 2020 7:16 pm ET

Now for a limited time
Free! Heavy Breathing!
Haiku #66747, by Pervert of Phone
January 22, 2020 6:08 pm ET

Now for a limited time
Free! Heavy Breathing!
Haiku #66746, by Pervert of Phone
January 22, 2020 6:08 pm ET