Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72686 Haikus later...

Oh most Holy Lord
Bless thou Donald Trump. Amen.
You may all rise now.
Haiku # 66785, January 28, 2020 2:58 pm ET
by The Right Reverend Rector Roberts of Rotheringham
Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck
Donald Trump. Fuck Donald Trump.
(O.K. mom, I'm done.)
Haiku # 66784, January 28, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Woke-Ass Bitches of Da Streetz
Starts with waves of plebeians
who never do it.
Haiku # 66783, January 28, 2020 2:52 pm ET
by Amurica, Social Services of the Failed World
Ass stimulation
It starts as stimulation
And then they stretch it
Haiku # 66782, January 28, 2020 2:03 pm ET
by Donald Ass Trump of Turd Burglar
Practice Mindfulness
Remember close toilet seat
Please remember flush
Haiku # 66781, January 28, 2020 4:34 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
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Haiku # 66780, January 28, 2020 1:35 am ET
by Health and Wellness Blog of united state
history reveals
it starts as stimulation
and then they stretch it
Haiku # 66779, January 27, 2020 10:02 pm ET
by ash
Hey, Mister Bill Gates:
Get yourself vaccinated.
Tell us how it goes.
Haiku # 66778, January 27, 2020 10:42 am ET
by Bat Soup of Malthusian Solutions
Bill Gates orgasms
Every plague: antihumans
Please start with yourselves
Haiku # 66777, January 27, 2020 12:45 am ET
by Depopulation of Corporate Feudalists
You lite so poolry
rousy poetry, gaijin.
Who order noodle?
Haiku # 66776, January 26, 2020 5:50 pm ET
by Stereotypical Caricature of Nippon
Git over here Clem;
Haiku done broke up muh still.
Moon still shinin' tho . . .
Haiku # 66775, January 26, 2020 5:28 pm ET
by Distillery of Discovery
I need more haiku.
Don't want Facebook, no Twitter
Just more haiku, please.
Haiku # 66774, January 26, 2020 5:25 pm ET
by Flavor of Ovaltine
histaminic hell
making my red eyes scratchy
while my nose dribbles
Haiku # 66773, January 26, 2020 7:22 am ET
by ash
Reflux distinctly
Or spell your scheming chem-trails:
That's obfuscation.
Haiku # 66772, January 26, 2020 6:03 am ET
by Imitation of Flattery
reflect succinctly
or spill your steaming entrails
that's education
Haiku # 66771, January 26, 2020 5:45 am ET
by ash
Zombies and werewolves
Masturbating by moonlight
Haiku # 66770, January 25, 2020 7:22 pm ET
by Brad Putt of 19th green
If u feel bloated
then you need to release gas.
Hence, this haiku site.
Haiku # 66769, January 24, 2020 4:16 pm ET
by School of Flatulence
i put a joke on
here, and they expand on it
I'm feeling bloated
Haiku # 66768, January 24, 2020 1:08 pm ET
by vhs
Them damn federulz...
If they come round here agin,
I'll pepper their hide!
Haiku # 66767, January 24, 2020 9:16 am ET
by Pappy Yokum of Corncob Pipe VA
You're on the side of
Homosexual Marxists.
Go on, admit it.
Haiku # 66766, January 24, 2020 9:11 am ET
by Frankfurt School of Frankfart
Order and chaos
Had child: named "Reality"
Child support: Cosmos
Haiku # 66765, January 24, 2020 3:16 am ET
by Construct of Under Construction
Gawd Damn It Woman
Quit moving my stuff around
Can't fooking find it!

Pt 1 of two parts quit moving my stuff @#$%^%!!!
Haiku # 66764, January 24, 2020 1:46 am ET
by Walt Tripp of Hut in Hawgsback woods
If you do not stop!
I will spank your @$$ damn hard!
Is that what you want?
Haiku # 66763, January 24, 2020 1:43 am ET
by Walt Tripp of Hut in Hawgsback woods
Trump shadow boxing
Looking at you, Mike Bloomberg
Kick your fucking ass
Haiku # 66762, January 24, 2020 1:22 am ET
by Donald J Trump of White House
Order loves chaos
And chaos loves order, too
So they got married
Haiku # 66761, January 24, 2020 1:07 am ET
by Construct of Deconstruction
Order loves chaos
And chaos loves order, too
But they got divorced
Haiku # 66760, January 24, 2020 1:05 am ET
by Construct of Construction
chaos vs order
or order vs chaos, so
easy to ger those two

things disorganized
Haiku # 66759, January 24, 2020 12:09 am ET
by vhs
Light in the darkness
All is violence, all is peace
Existence is odd
Haiku # 66758, January 23, 2020 11:47 pm ET
by dvd
i chewed tobacco a
long time ago and wonder
how much in total?
Haiku # 66757, January 23, 2020 12:09 pm ET
by vhs
STOP: Haiku alert!
You got to watch this Gong Show.
(the hillbilly dude)
Haiku # 66756, January 23, 2020 8:23 am ET
by Jed Clampett of Unclamped
I got a idea:
How bout write us some haiku
on any old theme...
Haiku # 66755, January 23, 2020 8:15 am ET
by Clem of Jest a-Settin on muh Cabin Porch
Frigging politics
Just minding my own business
I am innocent
Haiku # 66754, January 23, 2020 12:56 am ET
by Ham Sandwich of Indictment
I'm trying to help
myself by exercizing
i might die but i

had a heart attack
so i have an urge to fight
and beat this damn thing
Haiku # 66753, January 22, 2020 10:33 pm ET
by vhs
since i want to live
and not die, i don't need your
help living either

so AOC...fuck off
Haiku # 66752, January 22, 2020 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
if i want to die
I'll just blow my own brains out
i don't need your help
Haiku # 66751, January 22, 2020 10:27 pm ET
by vhs
We will furry you
All of us: soft and fluffy
Prepare to cuddle
Haiku # 66750, January 22, 2020 9:34 pm ET
by Adorable Critters of Frolicking Fields
We will bury you.
All of you: soft and useless.
Prepare for your death.
Haiku # 66749, January 22, 2020 7:59 pm ET
by Medo-Persian Invasion Force of Shushan Citadel
That's all a big lie!
The phone bill was enormous!
Phone sex was bad too.
Haiku # 66748, January 22, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by Totally not worth it. of 1-800-Fat-chix
Now for a limited time
Free! Heavy Breathing!
Haiku # 66747, January 22, 2020 6:08 pm ET
by Pervert of Phone
Now for a limited time
Free! Heavy Breathing!
Haiku # 66746, January 22, 2020 6:08 pm ET
by Pervert of Phone
Now for a limited time
Free! Heavy Breathing!
Haiku # 66745, January 22, 2020 6:08 pm ET
by Pervert of Phone
Now for a limited time
Free! Heavy Breathing!
Haiku # 66744, January 22, 2020 6:07 pm ET
by Pervert of Phone
I'm just in a tee
at 46 sitting and
typing words on here
Haiku # 66743, January 22, 2020 10:58 am ET
by vhs
Hello Poetry
Eliot York loves Haiku
Goodbye Poetry
Haiku # 66742, January 22, 2020 7:24 am ET
by Haikuist of Foetry
My daughter mistook
tenticles for testicles
and we had a laugh.
Haiku # 66741, January 21, 2020 6:25 pm ET
by Fun day at the beach.
Hentai? Tie a hen?
My, you people are so weird.
Y'all need to get saved!
Haiku # 66740, January 21, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by Mammy Yokum of the Glorious Gospel
the temptation is
to just sit back and let life
fly by, not get in
Haiku # 66739, January 21, 2020 11:44 am ET
by vhs
as i get older
day by day symptoms get in
the way basic, life
Haiku # 66738, January 21, 2020 11:29 am ET
by vhs
next time i want just
a fun goofy haiku there's
hentai jokes again
Haiku # 66737, January 21, 2020 11:17 am ET
by vhs
Have you ever tried
masturbating with sea slugs?
They'll sting your penis.

But it's not too bad.
Mother Nature's enlargement.
Shoot out sticky strings.
Haiku # 66736, January 21, 2020 3:19 am ET
by I'm not really here. of I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus' garden in the shade.
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