BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
240 Days
and
67701 Haikus
later...
Have you ever tried
masturbating with sea slugs?
They'll sting your penis.

But it's not too bad.
Mother Nature's enlargement.
Shoot out sticky strings.
Haiku #66736, by I'm not really here. of I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus' garden in the shade.
January 21, 2020 3:19 am ET

Christ I can't stand it
Democrat dumb fucks
Useless Bastardos!

All of them Commies
Disgusting destroyer con's
Worse than damn Nazis!
Haiku #66735, by John Birch of Casual Nexus
January 21, 2020 1:28 am ET

the man is bacon
i fear we must stick to produce
and burger burger
Haiku #66734, by Anonymous Poet
January 20, 2020 11:23 pm ET

Fingers trained for war
Now plucking strings for music
Either way useful
Haiku #66733, by David Ben David
January 20, 2020 9:06 pm ET

Darth, that is a pig!
That is not a "Hot Woman".
Please cease and desist.
Haiku #66732, by Porcine Permutations
January 20, 2020 5:09 pm ET

Found a new woman.
Holy God she is sexy!
I mean super hot!
Haiku #66731, by Darth Mud Stuffin of Boooooinnggg!
January 20, 2020 11:39 am ET

we shall see today
what roils out, when the state
vs people, dies down

it will happen over and over
Haiku #66730, by vhs
January 20, 2020 10:52 am ET

VÃ¥pnene: fine
Uheldigvis mennesker:
Ofte problemet
Haiku #66729, by Hans à of Jord
January 19, 2020 9:39 pm ET

Virginia gun-fest:
Patriots versus Commies . . .
this does not look good.
Haiku #66728, by My Cold Dead Hands of 2nd Amendment
January 19, 2020 12:23 pm ET

most likely i will
just fall asleep and wish
rebel wilson the

best luck losing weight
Haiku #66727, by vhs
January 18, 2020 1:16 am ET

I love you
You love me
No more private property
Haiku #66726, by Barnie Sanders of syllables are a capitalist conspiracy against the revolution
January 17, 2020 3:37 pm ET

Cancel MY culture . . .
It will yet rise in triumph
while you bitch and moan.
Haiku #66725, by Normal Human of Absolute Values
January 17, 2020 3:14 pm ET

i remember when
this sort of website was the
norm, it's indie, so

did we notice the
fools in cancel culture
or laugh at them all?
Haiku #66724, by vhs
January 17, 2020 1:15 pm ET

when we get an age
when the gut is more feeling
existential, threat

i have a gut and
i had a gut feeling it's
a bulgy, battle.
Haiku #66723, by vhs
January 16, 2020 12:56 pm ET

Dear Paw don't be sad.
May the Lord forgive my sins.
I done hung myself.
Haiku #66722, by Mini Haiku Tragedy of Appalachian Winter
January 16, 2020 10:41 am ET

Socialist ranter:
Spittle flies as he sputters;
That's Bernie Sanders
Haiku #66721, by Colonel Sanders Fried Ideology
January 16, 2020 10:31 am ET

we are gun nuts if
we want to protect our rights
from real nutcases
Haiku #66720, by vhs of not virginia
January 15, 2020 10:17 pm ET

Statler and Waldorf
Sucking each other's small cocks
That's you. That is you
Haiku #66719, by Jim Henson of Hyperspace
January 14, 2020 3:27 pm ET

Come here, idiots.
Haiku is the place for you:
Wind in bamboo grove
Haiku #66718, by Political Operative of Haiku
January 14, 2020 7:15 am ET

vhs swoops in
wearing leather jacket, shades
"silent running" plays
Haiku #66717, by dvd
January 14, 2020 12:12 am ET

Yang is zombie food
But 20 minutes later
They're hungry again
Haiku #66716, by Andrew Yang of MSG
January 14, 2020 12:04 am ET

Sí, buenos dias
Me llamo Cory Booker
Hasta la vista
Haiku #66715, by Cory Booker of Estados Unidos
January 14, 2020 12:01 am ET

Pete Buttigiegieg
He's gay... also he's gay
Vote Homosexual
Haiku #66714, by Buttigiegiegiegieg 2020 of Giggity
January 13, 2020 11:56 pm ET

Warren's spirit quest
"I'm gonna get me - some more
Peyote buttons"
Haiku #66713, by Dances With Democrats
January 13, 2020 11:51 pm ET

In CIA lab:
Cursed chimera creature...
One BRITNEY SANDERS
Haiku #66712, by Hit Me Bernie One More Time
January 13, 2020 11:45 pm ET

Shiite holding sign
Says: "Death To America?"
Regime quite confused
Haiku #66711, by Uncertain Iranian of Tehran
January 13, 2020 11:16 pm ET

Pot calls kettle black
Actually: "a nigger"
Then some more fart jokes
Haiku #66710, by Anomalous Philanthropist of How Dare You
January 13, 2020 8:27 pm ET

Website is for haikus,
Your politics are stupid.
Go away idiots.
Haiku #66709, by Wise Japanese Man of Kyoto
January 13, 2020 7:24 pm ET

The old man farts, pffft
Heads turning to gaze quickly
The wind blows, whoosh
Haiku #66708, by Confucius of Ancient China
January 13, 2020 7:23 pm ET

You know I have a
Trump feeling I need to lose
My Trump for 2020
Haiku #66707, by Syllabically Challenged of Haiku
January 13, 2020 7:15 pm ET

you jnow i have a
gut feeling i need to lose
my gut for 2020
Haiku #66706, by crawling chaos of unresolved resolutiions
January 13, 2020 10:56 am ET

Smart cities, smart cars
Just because you call it "smart"
Does not make it so
Haiku #66705, by Jetson of Dystopia
January 13, 2020 10:41 am ET

Joined to forget
What did I want to forget?
Don't know I forgot

Can't remember chit
Older than a GD rock
Minds last thing to go
Haiku #66704, by Walt Tripp of Hut in Hogsback Woods
January 12, 2020 3:03 pm ET

Girl is girl, not boy.
Boy is boy. Not girl. Sorry.
Biology rules.
Haiku #66703, by Sex of Human is Recorded at Birth
January 12, 2020 2:26 pm ET

Boy says he's a girl.
Parents pay for his hormones,
But he's still a boy!
Haiku #66702, by 2 Genders + 2 Genders = 2 genders
January 12, 2020 2:22 pm ET

Neurotic Liberals:
Your children turn transgender,
Proof you are confused.
Haiku #66701, by Plumbing Never Lies
January 12, 2020 2:18 pm ET

ooh shit, hey wow that
last haiku number was a
full house, not too bad!
Haiku #66700, by the crawling chaos of poker poker bo boker
January 12, 2020 1:20 pm ET

the dancing gods come
every kail yuga dance
to stomp start a new.
Haiku #66699, by the crawling chaos
January 12, 2020 1:19 pm ET

Duck-billed platypus.
Plate of flapping pussy lips.
Cannibal gourmet.

Ride with poison spur
you studly freak of nature.
How the gods do laugh.
Haiku #66698, by bob dylan's left pinky toe nail.
January 12, 2020 7:11 am ET

oh go bite the wax tadpole
Haiku #66697, by the crawling chaos
January 11, 2020 1:19 pm ET

Me Chinee
Me play joke
Me put peepee
in your Coke
Haiku #66696, by This is Wong on so many levels.
January 11, 2020 1:00 pm ET

Exploding cunt scabs
detonate upon impact.
Watch the calendar.
Haiku #66695, by filthy whores
January 11, 2020 12:56 pm ET

Fun 2020:
Vote for Trump and then sit back.
Watch them all melt down
Haiku #66694, by End of Your Orange World
January 11, 2020 11:23 am ET

my life needs an cleanse
an cold outburst as i feel
very angry, now
Haiku #66693, by vhs
January 11, 2020 6:25 am ET

Do you like Wheat Thins?
They are thin and made of wheat.
Tom Bosley's penis.
Haiku #66692, by Captain Twerk of the Starship Enterprise
January 9, 2020 10:49 pm ET

Nothing going on.
The Haiku necropolis.
How scintillating.
Haiku #66691, by Overwhelming Undertaker
January 9, 2020 9:34 pm ET

Ð
Haiku #66690, by Josephstole of Guatemala
January 9, 2020 6:09 pm ET

In 1930
Kurt Godel showed that systems
Have unsolvable

Problems: the truth is
Superior to given
Provability
Haiku #66689, by krav MAGA
January 8, 2020 3:37 pm ET

Love God even more
Than Biden loves to fondle
Tiny little girls
Haiku #66688, by krav MAGA of that's how to win
January 8, 2020 3:04 pm ET

Pro-sodomy and
Infanticide, Sodom? nope:
It's just Hollywood
Haiku #66687, by Daniel of Hollywood Babylon
January 8, 2020 1:24 pm ET