I love blunderbuss.
Feel her swelling curve get warm,
Flint to powder: BOOM

I'll warn the bitches
Who hate the Lord Jesus Christ...
then we burn witches.

Can we trade Honkies?
For the SOB leftists
That hate America?

Honkies fight Commies.
And fight for Hong Kong freedom!
And love America!

Democrats burning
The proud American flag
That's how @$$ hats roll.

Puritan i jest.
And predestined were the "saints".
to burn witches here.

Thankful for longpig
Masturbation -free dining
Not an option here

If you hate Pilgrims
Then vomit up the big meal
and start your shopping.

Malign Puritans!
Rage against America!
Revise history!

Revile the Pilgrims!
Spew against God and Country!
You know you want to.

Dad, raping poultry
In - Bird ejaculation
Family gathering

Existential dread
Repetition rituals
Repeat until done

Bong the cute Hmong girl
So sweet and lovely its sad
She does not like Wong.

At least she answers.
Mine couldn't care less for verse.
She despises it.

The dull wife responds.
Answering my bad haiku.
Yes, I hate you too.

Black Friday draws near.
Now shut up and buy,buy,buy.
(As TRUMP commands you)

Love me some HAIKU !
Bring it on, any old time.
Haiku and beer, bro.

Red! Gong hee fat choy!
Auspicious omens bring wealth:
burn more hell-money.

Yeah yeah youre NUTS , bud.
What the hell you tryna say?
Ya got a screw loose.

Monsters on the streets.
Far more evil than those up
on the silver screen.

I stepped in some Schiff.
it was a Schiffty thing to do
Dog Schiff on my shoe

Impeach Trump bull chit!
You lose again Commie dolts!
When will you grow up?

Hideous creatures
Plexaderm scary monsters!
Selling fake face lift

Wow who are you? wow!
You put the bondo on mug!?
Ha ha ha ha YIKES!!

Catch all devils-
Seal them in the black jade jar-
using peach wood sword-

Open your third eye.
Evil presence surrounds you.
But what will you do?

When it's all over,
he who has the most blue cheese
is declared winner.

A meme-specific
Bioweapon comes from space
Vaporizing you

Tallyho, fart boy
Veneer of intelligence
"Clever" camouflage

Oh Pallas, slay him.
Grey-eyed muse and protector,
Rend him limb from limb.

I am blending in
Now, irreverent humor
And then some fart jokes

Hail Pastathena:
Thine owl, thy helmeted head,
Thy meatballs in sauce.

If I've told you once
I've told you a thousand times
Cunfart Cuntfart Cunt

Submit a haiku
badhaiku.com is great
gosh, my third haiku

This is for skeppy
his fav number is 14
a6d idot

First in many years
What the heck is wrong with me
Geez time flies by fast

There once was a man
He had two - TWO!! - penises
That's it: that's the joke

Queen Elizabeth
Grunting out a big kaka
Hard act to follow

Do not call pigs pigs.
They prefer "sexy chub yums".
Who ate all my cake?!

Dear Darth: don't worry.
Your bad haiku forgiven
By the blood of Christ.

I'm having regrets.
Every haiku I've written
should be deleted.

A chick with six arms.
Simultaneous hand jobs.
Curry afterwards.

Or for the price of
One six armed woman you could
Get six armed women

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Six armed woman. Thanks.

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Akashic records:
Love, light, positive vibes, OMMmm...
Whoops. That's Lucifer!

Chickens in the coop
Peck peck peck peck peck peck Poop
Chickens in the coop

Chocolate mousse kaka
I'm not having any luck
Choking this shit down

The next time you feel some
Goblins leaving your anus
To write some haiku for you
Just... don't

A rosey-cheeked Schiff
On the lap of the Derp State
Like Howdy Doody

Talkin' bout that UNH !
Git all up on it, nome sain?
Git y'all some PUSSY.

Another night and
another day; an old-school
killer has to slay.

Another day and
another night, a new school
shooting brought to light