I took my Osama Bin Laden Halloween mask into the happy ending massage parlor and I ask the girl to wear it and make goat noises while she gives me a massage and I'll pay her and extra 1000 pesos. She agreed. I got a full body massage and jack off from a massage girl pretending to be Osama Bin Laden pretending to be a goat.
So, I guess you're right.
by Anonymous Poet
Mindless monsters may
mitigate masturbation
mysteriously.
by Anonymous Poet
Your wife never said
Any part of your body
Was..ahem..too big
by Au contraire of Behind binoculars
My toes are too big
My wife says it's the shoes
She's wrong. It's frostbite
by Skeleton Man of The Boneyard
Jeff Goldblum is daddy
I wish he would adopt me
Best Father's Day ever!
by SilverFoxFiend of My Heart
Vomit passed my lips
Lava from a volcano
Tequila takedown
by Dandrianabooflesnarf of The Deepest Pit of Hell
Cindy's snack was served
Beans on toast with maggot sauce
Crazy delicious!
by Dandrianabooflesnarf of The Deepest Pit in Hellkdown
Your Alopecia
Makes you smooth with the ladies
Quite literally
by Hairless Hairy of Bushville, TX
If I was not white
I wouldn't need to start a
White student union.
by February is the month of White Awareness
I rise at cock's crow
Then I do everything wrong
Thank you for your time
by Nobody of Nowhere
I rise for the flag
The pledge we hold so dearly
All hail communism
by Line of lines
In a room of farts
They found his motionless corpse
Mortician Wanted
by Drunk of Barstool
Gas continues to move through your body after you die. Morticians commonly report situations where they are caught off guard by a big fart in a room full of only dead people.Mar 31, 2016
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
My pussy's so big
I feed her two times a day.
And that makes her purr.
by Fulfillment of Feline Felicity
Longpig solution
When your rent is overdue
Just make landlord stew
by E. Viction of Porch glider
Her pussy's so big
How big is it you may ask
I fell in the bitch
by Never to be seen again
Finally got paid
For my awesome bad haiku
It was all darthcoin
by How do I spend this shit???
smelly teenager
it's like keeping a pet mouse
full of attitude
by ash
Praise God ! A new day.
A Fine day to read more of
the Dork Lard's vile spew.
by More of Dork, far less of Lard
Soggy cereal
Unexpected grizzly bear
Oh man, the wife's up.
by Drunk of Undisclosed
Huitzilopochtli
The hummingbird god of war:
Aztec tweety-bird.
by Return of Quetzalcoatl's Mother-in-Law
Rambo number five
Killed the cartel sons of bitches
Full metal Aztec!
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Take that limp parsnip
To the limp parsnip section
They're expecting you
by Manager of Not quite right produce
Departure from Zorg
Aliens don't wear undies
And they got green junk
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
Dork Lard. Hey! Dork Lard.
I'm talking right to YOU, girl.
YOU need more dork lard.
by Suet Grease of Bacon Drippings
How do I get paid
For this fucking masterpiece?
Gimme some bitcoin
by Anonymous Poet
Sasquatch hunters ask
Does Bigfoot crap in the woods?
Photo all blurry
by Uncle Morty of Rhode Island
How about "Dork Lard"
As in "Dork Lard Figpucker"?
Could be your new name.
by Boutros Boutros Ghali of Where's Wally?
After submission
I counted the syllables
There were too many
by Sorry
You know what's more fun
Than an ejaculating shit?
A fecal cumshot
by Best of Both worlds
turbulent sea waves
washes my feet, then recedes . . .
I remember him.
by Sunita Sahoo of Odisha, India
Yes I think we should
Be paid for the poems here
Especially me
by Underpaid of Under the overpass
It took a few years
But I finally finished
Growing this mustache
by The all new Daryl Hall of Been out of touch
Fall makes me crazy
A seasonal adjustment
I'm out of my gourd
by Trudging along of PNW
Whatever you do,
Don't be an ignoramus,
Unless in poems.
by Darth FonkeyMister of But it's pronounced FunkyMister.... should I spell if FunkyMister?
Beyond Figpucker
Poetry without cuss words
Cannibal free zone
by Edgar Allan Poem of Creepville
Beyond Figpucker
Poetry without cuss words
Cannibal free zone
by Edgar Allan Poem of Creepville
Beyond Furburgers
Let's plant chia seed gardens
Where the sun don't shine
by Head full of crazy of Undisclosed
Spin! Land on bankrupt.
Wheel is a harsh mistress.
Vanna never speaks.
by Uncle Morty of Rhode Island
Infectious disease
Carried by a gentle breeze
Azmodius, sneeze!
by Ruana of Ella Ella Ella ay ay
Proboscis monkeys
look just like Bert and Ernie.
Am I right or what?
by Master FonkeyMister, Evil Dark Lord of the Sith of They love me, those silly monkeys.
As a conjoined twin
I feel it is my duty
To always flush twice
by Conjoined twin of Other twin is asleep
Not at all prepared
For the laxative effects
Of this large coffee
by Batten Downthehatches of Nowhere near a restroom
Chia Pet owners
This is like watching paint dry
Foaming at the mouth
by Ch ch ch chia of At these fine stores
I'm reminded of
Being buttfucked by a horse
When I try to sit
by Too beaucoup,too beaucoup
I hope she's okay!
One of the best actresses.
One night in Paris.
Fantastic movie!
It's an absolute must see.
Think I'll watch it now.
by Pres. Donald Trump
Exploding vape pipes
Paris Hilton's My Life score
Think of nothing else
by Life Coach of Life
Y'know... living in a 3rd world pig-sty where more than half the women look like pigs from eating so much goddamn greasy fatty pork... Somehow... I don't know "Figpucker" kind of loses its appeal to me. I need something equally disgusting.... what can it be?
Fickenchucker? Huzzincumper? Roatgaper? FonkeyMister.
The Dark Lord FonkeyMister. I like that one... what do you think?
Suggestions are appreciated.
by The Artist Formerly Known As Darth Figpucker
Conjoined twin poet,
do you possess one or two
sets of genitals?
by Darth Figpucker of Looking for a new fetish.
From inside his cage
The passenger pigeon learned
How to solve crosswords
by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop
