Exploding vape pipes
Paris Hilton's My Life score
Think of nothing else
Haiku #66053, by Life Coach of Life September 25, 2019 9:31 am ET
Y'know... living in a 3rd world pig-sty where more than half the women look like pigs from eating so much goddamn greasy fatty pork... Somehow... I don't know "Figpucker" kind of loses its appeal to me. I need something equally disgusting.... what can it be?
Fickenchucker? Huzzincumper? Roatgaper? FonkeyMister.
The Dark Lord FonkeyMister. I like that one... what do you think?
Suggestions are appreciated.
Haiku #66052, by The Artist Formerly Known As Darth Figpucker September 25, 2019 5:24 am ET
Conjoined twin poet,
do you possess one or two
sets of genitals?
Haiku #66051, by Darth Figpucker of Looking for a new fetish. September 25, 2019 5:09 am ET
From inside his cage
The passenger pigeon learned
How to solve crosswords
Haiku #66050, by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop September 25, 2019 2:03 am ET
Hi, we are conjoined twin haiku poets
So we get to use twice as many syllables as you
Don't even try to complain about this
Haiku #66049, by Conjoined twin poets of Together September 25, 2019 12:24 am ET
Breaking Haiku News
All new haiku submissions
Will earn fifty cents
Haiku #66048, by M.T. Pockets of Haiku Central September 24, 2019 11:21 pm ET
My good ethnic man,
your colloquial language
has me at a loss.
Haiku #66047, by Percibald Smith, Esq. III of Good Old London Town drinking tea before a bit of croquet. September 24, 2019 8:59 pm ET
Ima tell all y'all:
it aint like that fo nuthin.
You feel me? Nuthin.
Haiku #66046, by Reginald Percy D'Aubuissant of Ebonics 101 September 24, 2019 8:38 pm ET
Is it possible you can have a conjoined twin grow out of you? I mean like a mole that turn into a cyst that starts to sprout arms and legs and a head and likes to sing old show tunes? Fucking Giligan's Island theme song for the 8th time this morning. I need to have it removed, but the doctors say that I can't legally do that because it might die and since it can sing, it must have a consciousness of some kind and therefore be considered human even though it grew out of me and wasn't really born. I need to consult the Catholic Church on this one. Is it really considered a life? Or should it be removed? Oh the horrible ethics of it all!
Haiku #66045, by Will you scratch my ass, please -- I can't reach back that far. September 24, 2019 6:30 pm ET
Murder isn't sin.
All of God's creatures do it.
At least in some way.
Haiku #66044, by The boil on Satan's ass. September 24, 2019 6:24 pm ET
Well consarn it Clem,
pass that moonshine over here
and let's git cloggin' !
Haiku #66043, by Old Guy on his Porch of Great Smoky Mountains September 24, 2019 10:57 am ET
Nach der sich mit der
Das liegt an der Grenze zum
Das liegt an der
Haiku #66042, by Nach dem uppen of Undisclosed September 24, 2019 9:00 am ET
Well that's ironic.
Therapist or the rapist.
Better watch your gap.
Haiku #66041, by The ghost of Ted Bundy's underwear collection. September 24, 2019 8:05 am ET
I was a rapist.
Then I became a poet.
Far more invasive.
Feel my words in you.
Oh how they pound in your head.
Now get therapy.
I parked on your friend
to comfort the morning grass.
Not one person cared.
Haiku #66019, by Anonymous Poet September 22, 2019 7:34 pm ET
You parked in the grass
Now the windows are steamed up
Get a room next time
Haiku #66018, by Irate Homeowner of Behind binoculars September 22, 2019 3:57 pm ET
I parked in the grass
To comfort my mourning friend
He was mad at me
Haiku #66017, by Line of lines September 22, 2019 3:45 pm ET
Even the pussy
Of a vegetarian
Can taste quite meaty
Haiku #66016, by Cunnilingual cuisine September 22, 2019 9:45 am ET
Or you can rob banks.
Throw spaghetti at strangers.
Torture small insects.
You don't have to wank.
Just turn off the fucking phone!
Reconnect with trees.
Haiku #66015, by Anonymous Poet September 22, 2019 9:30 am ET
Worship any God
Because it doesn't matter
Pray to Hulk Hogan
Haiku #66014, by Anonymous Poet September 22, 2019 9:23 am ET
When you get real sick
Does the praying make you well
Or maybe doctors?
Haiku #66013, by Jesus is lard September 22, 2019 9:21 am ET
Jimmy junior lies
His daddy wouldn't care one bit
He lied all the time
Haiku #66012, by Anonymous Poet September 22, 2019 9:19 am ET
Well, you did make sense.
except about "go outside and..."
(You great wanker you.)
Haiku #66011, by Wankel Rotary Engine of One Piston Misfiring September 22, 2019 8:46 am ET
Which do you hate more,
poets or their poetry?
Haiku #66010, by Burn all Poetry! September 22, 2019 6:23 am ET
Go ahead, pollute!
The faster the earth is gone,
we'll be in heaven.
Haiku #66009, by Except for gays an poets. of They burn in hell forever. September 21, 2019 9:10 pm ET
Regardless if climate change is real or not, less pollution is a good thing. There are just too many people putting a strain on the planet for electricity, fuel, food, etc. Live simply, live clean, turn off the computer, go outside and masturbate. Do not be ashamed, start a new movement.