Wait, that was the speech
Now I recognize the guy
Yuge back end of Trump

An important speech
Punctuated by loud farts
Abruptly canceled

Throw away your pills
Kittens and Cats videos
Your health is restored

White socks with flip flops
Keeping Up With The
Pacific Northwest

The wet grass whispered
I'll ruin your shoes, you bastard
That's just what happened

Whispered words foster
Your thoughts and desires captured
Package On the Way!

Mexican corn dogs
rained over London last night
while clowns ate sushi.

You need to get laid.
But I need to get laid too.
Let's fuck each other.

I am so happy.
I just killed a mosquito.
Fucking parasites!

I spilled some acid.
The grass achieved sentience.
So I imagine.

The grass spoke to me.
It said vote for Donald Trump.
Perhaps I was wrong.

But I understand.
Grass doesn't like Mexicans.
And can you blame it.

I went to the park
and smoked some grass with your friend.
We're glad you weren't there.

Homosexual.
I grassed your friend at the park.
Elmo in Grouchland.

I parked on your friend
to comfort the morning grass.
Not one person cared.

You parked in the grass
Now the windows are steamed up
Get a room next time

I parked in the grass
To comfort my mourning friend
He was mad at me

Even the pussy
Of a vegetarian
Can taste quite meaty

Or you can rob banks.
Throw spaghetti at strangers.
Torture small insects.

You don't have to wank.
Just turn off the fucking phone!
Reconnect with trees.

Worship any God
Because it doesn't matter
Pray to Hulk Hogan

When you get real sick
Does the praying make you well
Or maybe doctors?

Jimmy junior lies
His daddy wouldn't care one bit
He lied all the time

Well, you did make sense.
except about "go outside and..."
(You great wanker you.)

Which do you hate more,
poets or their poetry?
Or fifty-fifty?

Go ahead, pollute!
The faster the earth is gone,
we'll be in heaven.

Regardless if climate change is real or not, less pollution is a good thing. There are just too many people putting a strain on the planet for electricity, fuel, food, etc. Live simply, live clean, turn off the computer, go outside and masturbate. Do not be ashamed, start a new movement.

I could not care less
about so-called climate change.
That's YOUR religion.

I'm not interested
in your fake apocalypse.
You need to get saved.

You substituted
this silly theory of doom
for Faith and true Hope.

God the Holy Lord.
He gives you every heartbeat.
Repent and seek Him.

Piss molten lava.
Shit thermonuclear bombs.
Drink imported beer.

r'(t) = (dx/dt)i + (dy/dt)j + (dz/dt)k
Because your penis is small.
Snufflupagus.

So which one is worse,
if a person cannot read,
or can, but does not?

If you have the clap
orgasms are more intense.
Go and share the joy.

God is not happy.
He's not been since you were born.
Kill yourself today.

For a good time call...
We went to the fair, skating,
and then a concert.

Am I missing out?
I never use the restroom.
Yes, I'm full of shit.

Be a bug hunter.
A promiscuous person
who wants STDs.

Share it with your spouse.
But you must keep it secret.
Prolong the surprise.

You can die smiling,
twisted grin across your face,
just like the Joker.

I saw your number
Written on the bathroom wall
Show me a good time

Simplify your life
Just eat until you explode
Get it over with

The problem with math
Is all those numbers they have
So many problems

Heaven heaven God
The Lord's Kingdom of Heaven
Jesus Christ judgement

Fuck this cold cruel world
Another day of the same
Pain and suffering

Walking really fast
Can't get away from myself
Running backwards now

Do you exercise?
Can you play and instrument?
What books do you like?

Solving a chem test.
Butt naked; air-con blowing.
Answers with dick pic.

Client's freaking out.
Shit, I thought it was funny.
No sense of humor.

Maybe it's the pus
oozing from my Prince Albert.
Pure titanium.

That's an element.
So, chemistry related.
What did she expect?

Every write a haiku
when you're really fucking stoned.
It's aliens, man.

I just shit my pants
Waiting for a commercial
Thank god for diapers

Every afternoon
Grandpa sucks his Werthers
Werthers is his dink

Hello there.

I yelled jump because
I wanted something to eat.
A bit messy though.

Eating soy hot dogs,
pretending that they are "dinks".
You're no cannibal.

Granola hippie.
Birkenstock wearing hipster.
Man-bun on your head.

The mountain witches
will cook the fat stray children
that you bring to them.

Eat their flesh and souls.
Be one with forest devils.
Drunk on demon cum.

Online tour package.
Jungle-cannibal dot com.
Offering group rates.

You didn't listen
You didn't think I would jump
Why did you yell, "Jump!??"

I just eat the dinks
Too many preservatives
In store brand hot dogs