For a good time call...
We went to the fair, skating,
and then a concert.
by Glad I called that number.
Am I missing out?
I never use the restroom.
Yes, I'm full of shit.
by Literally or figuratively?
Be a bug hunter.
A promiscuous person
who wants STDs.
Share it with your spouse.
But you must keep it secret.
Prolong the surprise.
You can die smiling,
twisted grin across your face,
just like the Joker.
by Sharing is Caring
I saw your number
Written on the bathroom wall
Show me a good time
by Restroom goer of Restroom
Simplify your life
Just eat until you explode
Get it over with
by Face Filler of Trough
The problem with math
Is all those numbers they have
So many problems
by Math student of Undisclosed
Heaven heaven God
The Lord's Kingdom of Heaven
Jesus Christ judgement
by A Backslidden Atheist of Tourette Syndrome
Fuck this cold cruel world
Another day of the same
Pain and suffering
by Had it of Up to here
Walking really fast
Can't get away from myself
Running backwards now
by Me of Trying to get away
Do you exercise?
Can you play and instrument?
What books do you like?
by That's cool. Lets fuck.
Solving a chem test.
Butt naked; air-con blowing.
Answers with dick pic.
Client's freaking out.
Shit, I thought it was funny.
No sense of humor.
Maybe it's the pus
oozing from my Prince Albert.
Pure titanium.
That's an element.
So, chemistry related.
What did she expect?
by
Every write a haiku
when you're really fucking stoned.
It's aliens, man.
by
I just shit my pants
Waiting for a commercial
Thank god for diapers
by Fuck pampers,buy huggies!
Every afternoon
Grandpa sucks his Werthers
Werthers is his dink
by Grandsonny boy of Porch glider
I yelled jump because
I wanted something to eat.
A bit messy though.
by
Eating soy hot dogs,
pretending that they are "dinks".
You're no cannibal.
Granola hippie.
Birkenstock wearing hipster.
Man-bun on your head.
The mountain witches
will cook the fat stray children
that you bring to them.
Eat their flesh and souls.
Be one with forest devils.
Drunk on demon cum.
Online tour package.
Jungle-cannibal dot com.
Offering group rates.
by Jimmy Dean's spicy dink links. of Organically grown and ethically slaughtered long pig. Order yours today!
You didn't listen
You didn't think I would jump
Why did you yell, "Jump!??"
by Splat of Sidewalk
I just eat the dinks
Too many preservatives
In store brand hot dogs
by Not Ralph Nader of Wiener Roast
You're an amateur.
That's why you eat the bodies.
There's no evidence.
And you gain power
by devouring their souls.
Trust me on this one.
by Darth Figpucker
People ask questions
When your neighbor turns up dead
And you're drenched with blood
by Neighbor of Neighborhood
G
E
T
N
A
K
E
D
!
!
!
by In the shopping mall.
Feel my rig shaking
So I pull over real quick
Unburden my load
by Mack of Roadside
Coming to Netflix
The Brother and Sister Ride.
And Cousin Orgy
by Satisfied of Couch
Cowboy Mexicans
Playing their Naco music
On Telemundo
by El guiro of Huitlihuachapatenzontletitlan
Canned meat is grotesque.
Trailer park hicks and Asian.
Only they enjoy.
by df
I don't think that's mud.
Grandpa ate some Fiber One
for breakfast today.
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate of Math Whore, Inc.
No no no silly
poet, I'm no professor,
but I'll do homework.
All you need to do
is open up your wallet.
Or your tight asshole.
I'm just a math whore.
I'll even do their exams.
Call for scheduling.
Fifty bucks per hour.
Your parents will never know.
You've heard that before.
by
On the wrestling mat
The grandparents caked in mud
Don't look, you'll go blind
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
The can of salmon
Was considered a member
Of the family
by Half sister of can of salmon of Kitchen
So glad I cut class
Professor Darth Figpucker
Should be castrated
by Student of School of semi hard knocks
Let's discuss waffles.
What are the best recipes?
I like them crispy.
by
All those tight students
bending over for a grade.
Goosh goosh goosh goosh goosh.
by
I know this is strange.
Math makes my penis feel big.
Exponentiate!
by
A point charge of q=5.0x10^8C is placed at the center of an uncharged spherical conducting shell of inner radius 6.0 cm and outer radius 9.0 cm. Find the electric potential at (a) r = 4.0 cm (b) r = 8.0 cm (c) r = 12.0 cm.
After solving, jack off onto the quiz and turn in your spooge-soaked paper so the professor can have a hot nutritious meal in the faculty lounge.
Female students get an automatic grade of F.
by Gay Physics Professor
A point charge of q=5.0Ã
by Gay Physics Professor
Just started work here
They told me to write haiku
And to make it bad
by New Poet of Workplace
toddlers will behave.
just play The Devil's Rejects.
they won't stop watching.
by Good Parent.
My math lab dot com.
Pay me to do your homework.
I am a math whore.
by
Emasculated.
Homosexuality.
Defenestration.
by of
I'd like to meet him.
Why does his mind work that way?
Nipress, Ash, Star Wars.
I do not get it.
I'm not gay, but I'd fuck him.
Down in my basement.
by Deliverance Poets. of *Cue hillbilly music.
NIPPRESS BLIPPRESS
ASH GRAASH
SMISH SMASH
NIPPRESS STARWARS THEMED
DARTH JAWA
by iamback
Electrocution
You're relaxing in the bath
Catch this hair dryer
by Zappy of Grounded
When the dark clouds burst
brown shit raindrops plop down
Then, hold out your tongue
by Grub of Earth
Remember the time
You tripped on that super ball
And broke your femur
by It was my of Pink super ball
Reindeer are tripping.
Children are being bullied.
Chinese counterfeit.
by Amazing!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu............
Falling down an infinite well.
Well, well, well, well, well, well...
Die of old age before hitting the bottom.
by
Going for goat milk.
Craving me some real dairy.
Maybe I'm preggers!
by
Nobody expects
the Spanish Inquisition.
Nor sardine lattes.
by
