You're an amateur.
That's why you eat the bodies.
There's no evidence.
And you gain power
by devouring their souls.
Trust me on this one.
by Darth Figpucker
People ask questions
When your neighbor turns up dead
And you're drenched with blood
by Neighbor of Neighborhood
G
E
T
N
A
K
E
D
!
!
!
by In the shopping mall.
Feel my rig shaking
So I pull over real quick
Unburden my load
by Mack of Roadside
Coming to Netflix
The Brother and Sister Ride.
And Cousin Orgy
by Satisfied of Couch
Cowboy Mexicans
Playing their Naco music
On Telemundo
by El guiro of Huitlihuachapatenzontletitlan
Canned meat is grotesque.
Trailer park hicks and Asian.
Only they enjoy.
by df
I don't think that's mud.
Grandpa ate some Fiber One
for breakfast today.
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate of Math Whore, Inc.
No no no silly
poet, I'm no professor,
but I'll do homework.
All you need to do
is open up your wallet.
Or your tight asshole.
I'm just a math whore.
I'll even do their exams.
Call for scheduling.
Fifty bucks per hour.
Your parents will never know.
You've heard that before.
by
On the wrestling mat
The grandparents caked in mud
Don't look, you'll go blind
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
The can of salmon
Was considered a member
Of the family
by Half sister of can of salmon of Kitchen
So glad I cut class
Professor Darth Figpucker
Should be castrated
by Student of School of semi hard knocks
Let's discuss waffles.
What are the best recipes?
I like them crispy.
by
All those tight students
bending over for a grade.
Goosh goosh goosh goosh goosh.
by
I know this is strange.
Math makes my penis feel big.
Exponentiate!
by
A point charge of q=5.0x10^8C is placed at the center of an uncharged spherical conducting shell of inner radius 6.0 cm and outer radius 9.0 cm. Find the electric potential at (a) r = 4.0 cm (b) r = 8.0 cm (c) r = 12.0 cm.
After solving, jack off onto the quiz and turn in your spooge-soaked paper so the professor can have a hot nutritious meal in the faculty lounge.
Female students get an automatic grade of F.
by Gay Physics Professor
A point charge of q=5.0Ã
by Gay Physics Professor
Just started work here
They told me to write haiku
And to make it bad
by New Poet of Workplace
toddlers will behave.
just play The Devil's Rejects.
they won't stop watching.
by Good Parent.
My math lab dot com.
Pay me to do your homework.
I am a math whore.
by
Emasculated.
Homosexuality.
Defenestration.
by of
I'd like to meet him.
Why does his mind work that way?
Nipress, Ash, Star Wars.
I do not get it.
I'm not gay, but I'd fuck him.
Down in my basement.
by Deliverance Poets. of *Cue hillbilly music.
NIPPRESS BLIPPRESS
ASH GRAASH
SMISH SMASH
NIPPRESS STARWARS THEMED
DARTH JAWA
by iamback
Electrocution
You're relaxing in the bath
Catch this hair dryer
by Zappy of Grounded
When the dark clouds burst
brown shit raindrops plop down
Then, hold out your tongue
by Grub of Earth
Remember the time
You tripped on that super ball
And broke your femur
by It was my of Pink super ball
Reindeer are tripping.
Children are being bullied.
Chinese counterfeit.
by Amazing!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu............
Falling down an infinite well.
Well, well, well, well, well, well...
Die of old age before hitting the bottom.
by
Going for goat milk.
Craving me some real dairy.
Maybe I'm preggers!
by
Nobody expects
the Spanish Inquisition.
Nor sardine lattes.
by
Ghost pepper latte.
Unexpected beverage.
Predictable itch.
by I love ordering the ghost pepper sardine garlic latte at Starbucks. of Especially when there's a long line.
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Predictable beverage
Predictable bitch
by Shouldn't drink coffee of Seattle
My cock stopped breathing
So I gave it mouth to mouth
And injured my back
by know CPR
My wife is a corpse
Yet the bitch still sucks my dick
That's entertainment
by tsemen tsunami
"Is this offensive?"
The man showed us a picture
of his spread ass cheeks.
"No, good sir, that's art!"
We didn't want to be rude.
He became famous.
by
Blippi needs a huge cock up his ass.
Seriously.
by Anonymous Poet
Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection, I wave "yoo hoo",
my hand stuck to it with super glue.
What will you do if I wave it at you?
Would you laugh, or scream, or run away?
Maybe you'll like it, maybe you'll stay.
Maybe you want to be amputee fisted.
Shit, I'm twisted.
Blacklisted bastard.
Evade Dave is Evade Dave backward.
by
I'd like to see a global infestation of worms.
It would, of course, be called "Global Worming".
Parasitic worms of all shapes and sizes taking over the planet.
Because, when you think about it, they deserve it more than we do.
Hug a tape worm today.
by
Its hot as fuck now
Clouds hate you more than you know
Tell them to suck it
by WTF Weather of Not sure �
Mugabe dessert:
Africa flambee'd in rum:
Red rum, red rum. Red.
by Kijongo Mvumakijikoliwili of pronounceable names
That is just not true.
Werther's candy still exists.
Here's the ugly truth.
Grandpa hated you.
The ugliest grandson.
He left out of shame.
So your parents lied.
He told me this over beer.
So I know it's true.
by
Grandpa wiped a year
There were no more Werther's left
So he killed himself
by The of End
Once upon a time...
a poet had Alzheimer's.
So I guess "The End."
by
It was raining dead prostitutes.
The perverts had a heyday.
So did the canibals.
The frogs were upset.
They just wanted some real rain.
So they could fuck, of course.
by
It will not come out.
I'm trying to shit a brick.
The baby's crying.
by Clinched sphincter and constipation. of I need Fiber One.
