Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

So glad I cut class
Professor Darth Figpucker
Should be castrated
Haiku # 65969, September 17, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Student of School of semi hard knocks
Let's discuss waffles.
What are the best recipes?
I like them crispy.
Haiku # 65968, September 17, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by
All those tight students
bending over for a grade.
Goosh goosh goosh goosh goosh.
Haiku # 65967, September 17, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by
I know this is strange.
Math makes my penis feel big.
Exponentiate!
Haiku # 65966, September 17, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by
A point charge of q=5.0x10^8C is placed at the center of an uncharged spherical conducting shell of inner radius 6.0 cm and outer radius 9.0 cm. Find the electric potential at (a) r = 4.0 cm (b) r = 8.0 cm (c) r = 12.0 cm.

After solving, jack off onto the quiz and turn in your spooge-soaked paper so the professor can have a hot nutritious meal in the faculty lounge.

Female students get an automatic grade of F.
Haiku # 65965, September 17, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Gay Physics Professor
A point charge of q=5.0Ã
Haiku # 65964, September 17, 2019 8:52 pm ET
by Gay Physics Professor
Just started work here
They told me to write haiku
And to make it bad
Haiku # 65963, September 17, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by New Poet of Workplace
toddlers will behave.
just play The Devil's Rejects.
they won't stop watching.
Haiku # 65962, September 17, 2019 7:56 pm ET
by Good Parent.
My math lab dot com.
Pay me to do your homework.
I am a math whore.
Haiku # 65961, September 17, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by
Emasculated.
Homosexuality.
Defenestration.
Haiku # 65960, September 17, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by of
I'd like to meet him.
Why does his mind work that way?
Nipress, Ash, Star Wars.

I do not get it.
I'm not gay, but I'd fuck him.
Down in my basement.
Haiku # 65959, September 17, 2019 6:59 pm ET
by Deliverance Poets. of *Cue hillbilly music.
NIPPRESS BLIPPRESS
ASH GRAASH
SMISH SMASH
NIPPRESS STARWARS THEMED
DARTH JAWA
Haiku # 65958, September 17, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by iamback
Electrocution
You're relaxing in the bath
Catch this hair dryer
Haiku # 65957, September 17, 2019 4:34 pm ET
by Zappy of Grounded
When the dark clouds burst
brown shit raindrops plop down
Then, hold out your tongue
Haiku # 65956, September 17, 2019 3:51 pm ET
by Grub of Earth
Remember the time
You tripped on that super ball
And broke your femur
Haiku # 65955, September 17, 2019 1:42 pm ET
by It was my of Pink super ball
Reindeer are tripping.
Children are being bullied.
Chinese counterfeit.
Haiku # 65954, September 17, 2019 7:58 am ET
by Amazing!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu............
Falling down an infinite well.
Well, well, well, well, well, well...
Die of old age before hitting the bottom.
Haiku # 65953, September 17, 2019 6:35 am ET
by
Going for goat milk.
Craving me some real dairy.
Maybe I'm preggers!
Haiku # 65952, September 17, 2019 5:17 am ET
by
Nobody expects
the Spanish Inquisition.
Nor sardine lattes.
Haiku # 65951, September 17, 2019 5:15 am ET
by
Ghost pepper latte.
Unexpected beverage.
Predictable itch.
Haiku # 65950, September 17, 2019 5:11 am ET
by I love ordering the ghost pepper sardine garlic latte at Starbucks. of Especially when there's a long line.
Pumpkin Spice Latte
Predictable beverage
Predictable bitch
Haiku # 65949, September 17, 2019 3:26 am ET
by Shouldn't drink coffee of Seattle
My cock stopped breathing
So I gave it mouth to mouth
And injured my back
Haiku # 65948, September 17, 2019 1:42 am ET
by know CPR
My wife is a corpse
Yet the bitch still sucks my dick
That's entertainment
Haiku # 65947, September 17, 2019 12:43 am ET
by tsemen tsunami
Hello there.
Haiku # 65946, September 16, 2019 10:04 pm ET
by
"Is this offensive?"
The man showed us a picture
of his spread ass cheeks.

"No, good sir, that's art!"
We didn't want to be rude.
He became famous.
Haiku # 65945, September 16, 2019 8:14 pm ET
by
Blippi needs a huge cock up his ass.
Seriously.
Haiku # 65944, September 16, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Today my penis fell off and onto my shoe.
So I picked up and reattached it with glue.
But then as I did my hand fell off too.
Now when I get an erection, I wave "yoo hoo",
my hand stuck to it with super glue.
What will you do if I wave it at you?

Would you laugh, or scream, or run away?
Maybe you'll like it, maybe you'll stay.
Maybe you want to be amputee fisted.
Shit, I'm twisted.
Blacklisted bastard.
Evade Dave is Evade Dave backward.
Haiku # 65943, September 16, 2019 6:21 pm ET
by
Hello there.
Haiku # 65942, September 16, 2019 6:11 pm ET
by
I'd like to see a global infestation of worms.
It would, of course, be called "Global Worming".
Parasitic worms of all shapes and sizes taking over the planet.
Because, when you think about it, they deserve it more than we do.
Hug a tape worm today.
Haiku # 65941, September 16, 2019 6:11 pm ET
by
Its hot as fuck now
Clouds hate you more than you know
Tell them to suck it
Haiku # 65940, September 16, 2019 3:04 pm ET
by WTF Weather of Not sure �
Mugabe dessert:
Africa flambee'd in rum:
Red rum, red rum. Red.
Haiku # 65939, September 16, 2019 11:58 am ET
by Kijongo Mvumakijikoliwili of pronounceable names
Hello there.
Haiku # 65938, September 16, 2019 3:34 am ET
by
That is just not true.
Werther's candy still exists.
Here's the ugly truth.

Grandpa hated you.
The ugliest grandson.
He left out of shame.

So your parents lied.
He told me this over beer.
So I know it's true.
Haiku # 65937, September 16, 2019 3:34 am ET
by
Grandpa wiped a year
There were no more Werther's left
So he killed himself
Haiku # 65936, September 16, 2019 1:43 am ET
by The of End
Hello there.
Haiku # 65935, September 16, 2019 1:10 am ET
by
Once upon a time...
a poet had Alzheimer's.
So I guess "The End."
Haiku # 65934, September 16, 2019 1:00 am ET
by
It was raining dead prostitutes.
The perverts had a heyday.
So did the canibals.
The frogs were upset.
They just wanted some real rain.
So they could fuck, of course.
Haiku # 65933, September 16, 2019 12:57 am ET
by
It will not come out.
I'm trying to shit a brick.
The baby's crying.
Haiku # 65932, September 15, 2019 8:22 pm ET
by Clinched sphincter and constipation. of I need Fiber One.
Hello there.
Haiku # 65931, September 15, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by
I just got dessert.
Chocolate mousse with espresso.
Just like Mugabe.
Haiku # 65930, September 15, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by
Robert Mugabe:
Now the once-great dictator
Gets his just desserts.
Haiku # 65929, September 15, 2019 12:55 pm ET
by Mfulemi Kijungawili of Copenhagen
Hello there.
Haiku # 65928, September 15, 2019 4:38 am ET
by
I have been told that
the aliens monitor
and rate each haiku

according to its
intensity of badness.
They won't tell me why.
Haiku # 65927, September 15, 2019 4:37 am ET
by
Unsure what to do?
Rhyming haiku stick with you.
Much like super glue.
Haiku # 65926, September 15, 2019 4:27 am ET
by
The stink of the dink,
be it purple, red, or pink,
means you should take zinc.

I think, therefore I spam.

Online zinc supplements and Viagra.
onlinestinkydinkpillsfromcanada.com
Haiku # 65925, September 15, 2019 4:25 am ET
by
They made a mistake
And wished they were sea monkeys
And they got their wish
Haiku # 65924, September 14, 2019 6:47 pm ET
by Casual Observer of Behind binoculars
I will rend your limbs.
You will be a pile of blood
After this haiku
Haiku # 65923, September 14, 2019 6:16 pm ET
by Chingis Khan of Mongolia
I'ma git me some...
Some a dat BAD BAD haiku.
What I'm talkin' bout.
Haiku # 65922, September 14, 2019 8:31 am ET
by Tyrone in a Fine Cadillac of 42nd Street in the 70s
So Cal, so go surf.
Mavericks would be awesome.
Just kidding; don't die.
Haiku # 65921, September 14, 2019 7:26 am ET
by
I'm back in SoCal
But I won't be here too long
Just biding my time.
Haiku # 65920, September 14, 2019 2:32 am ET
by mean d. of So Cal
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