Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Piss molten lava.
Shit thermonuclear bombs.
Drink imported beer.
Haiku # 66005, September 21, 2019 3:00 pm ET
by
r'(t) = (dx/dt)i + (dy/dt)j + (dz/dt)k
Because your penis is small.
Snufflupagus.
Haiku # 66004, September 21, 2019 2:49 am ET
by Do you think The Count has a thing against irrational numbers?
So which one is worse,
if a person cannot read,
or can, but does not?
Haiku # 66003, September 21, 2019 2:43 am ET
by df
If you have the clap
orgasms are more intense.
Go and share the joy.
Haiku # 66002, September 21, 2019 2:38 am ET
by Satan's supervisor.
God is not happy.
He's not been since you were born.
Kill yourself today.
Haiku # 66001, September 21, 2019 2:35 am ET
by Enjoying a goat milk cappuccino in the back of a low class Asian whorehouse.
For a good time call...
We went to the fair, skating,
and then a concert.
Haiku # 66000, September 20, 2019 10:30 pm ET
by Glad I called that number.
Am I missing out?
I never use the restroom.
Yes, I'm full of shit.
Haiku # 65999, September 20, 2019 3:53 am ET
by Literally or figuratively?
Be a bug hunter.
A promiscuous person
who wants STDs.

Share it with your spouse.
But you must keep it secret.
Prolong the surprise.

You can die smiling,
twisted grin across your face,
just like the Joker.
Haiku # 65998, September 20, 2019 3:51 am ET
by Sharing is Caring
I saw your number
Written on the bathroom wall
Show me a good time
Haiku # 65997, September 19, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Restroom goer of Restroom
Simplify your life
Just eat until you explode
Get it over with
Haiku # 65996, September 19, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Face Filler of Trough
The problem with math
Is all those numbers they have
So many problems
Haiku # 65995, September 19, 2019 9:14 pm ET
by Math student of Undisclosed
Heaven heaven God
The Lord's Kingdom of Heaven
Jesus Christ judgement
Haiku # 65994, September 19, 2019 7:37 pm ET
by A Backslidden Atheist of Tourette Syndrome
Fuck this cold cruel world
Another day of the same
Pain and suffering
Haiku # 65993, September 19, 2019 4:47 pm ET
by Had it of Up to here
Walking really fast
Can't get away from myself
Running backwards now
Haiku # 65992, September 19, 2019 4:27 pm ET
by Me of Trying to get away
Do you exercise?
Can you play and instrument?
What books do you like?
Haiku # 65991, September 19, 2019 3:56 pm ET
by That's cool. Lets fuck.
Solving a chem test.
Butt naked; air-con blowing.
Answers with dick pic.

Client's freaking out.
Shit, I thought it was funny.
No sense of humor.

Maybe it's the pus
oozing from my Prince Albert.
Pure titanium.

That's an element.
So, chemistry related.
What did she expect?
Haiku # 65990, September 19, 2019 9:30 am ET
by
Every write a haiku
when you're really fucking stoned.
It's aliens, man.
Haiku # 65989, September 19, 2019 4:08 am ET
by
I just shit my pants
Waiting for a commercial
Thank god for diapers
Haiku # 65988, September 19, 2019 3:22 am ET
by Fuck pampers,buy huggies!
Every afternoon
Grandpa sucks his Werthers
Werthers is his dink
Haiku # 65987, September 19, 2019 1:46 am ET
by Grandsonny boy of Porch glider
Hello there.
Haiku # 65986, September 19, 2019 12:58 am ET
by
I yelled jump because
I wanted something to eat.
A bit messy though.
Haiku # 65985, September 19, 2019 12:55 am ET
by
Eating soy hot dogs,
pretending that they are "dinks".
You're no cannibal.

Granola hippie.
Birkenstock wearing hipster.
Man-bun on your head.

The mountain witches
will cook the fat stray children
that you bring to them.

Eat their flesh and souls.
Be one with forest devils.
Drunk on demon cum.

Online tour package.
Jungle-cannibal dot com.
Offering group rates.
Haiku # 65984, September 19, 2019 12:53 am ET
by Jimmy Dean's spicy dink links. of Organically grown and ethically slaughtered long pig. Order yours today!
You didn't listen
You didn't think I would jump
Why did you yell, "Jump!??"
Haiku # 65983, September 18, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by Splat of Sidewalk
I just eat the dinks
Too many preservatives
In store brand hot dogs
Haiku # 65982, September 18, 2019 8:10 pm ET
by Not Ralph Nader of Wiener Roast
You're an amateur.
That's why you eat the bodies.
There's no evidence.

And you gain power
by devouring their souls.
Trust me on this one.
Haiku # 65981, September 18, 2019 7:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
People ask questions
When your neighbor turns up dead
And you're drenched with blood
Haiku # 65980, September 18, 2019 6:50 pm ET
by Neighbor of Neighborhood
G
E
T

N
A
K
E
D
!
!
!
Haiku # 65979, September 18, 2019 6:09 pm ET
by In the shopping mall.
Feel my rig shaking
So I pull over real quick
Unburden my load
Haiku # 65978, September 18, 2019 4:23 pm ET
by Mack of Roadside
Coming to Netflix
The Brother and Sister Ride.
And Cousin Orgy
Haiku # 65977, September 18, 2019 4:16 pm ET
by Satisfied of Couch
Cowboy Mexicans
Playing their Naco music
On Telemundo
Haiku # 65976, September 18, 2019 12:06 pm ET
by El guiro of Huitlihuachapatenzontletitlan
Canned meat is grotesque.
Trailer park hicks and Asian.
Only they enjoy.
Haiku # 65975, September 18, 2019 7:40 am ET
by df
I don't think that's mud.
Grandpa ate some Fiber One
for breakfast today.
Haiku # 65974, September 18, 2019 7:34 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate of Math Whore, Inc.
Hello there.
Haiku # 65973, September 18, 2019 7:30 am ET
by
No no no silly
poet, I'm no professor,
but I'll do homework.

All you need to do
is open up your wallet.
Or your tight asshole.

I'm just a math whore.
I'll even do their exams.
Call for scheduling.

Fifty bucks per hour.
Your parents will never know.
You've heard that before.
Haiku # 65972, September 18, 2019 3:59 am ET
by
On the wrestling mat
The grandparents caked in mud
Don't look, you'll go blind
Haiku # 65971, September 17, 2019 11:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
The can of salmon
Was considered a member
Of the family
Haiku # 65970, September 17, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by Half sister of can of salmon of Kitchen
So glad I cut class
Professor Darth Figpucker
Should be castrated
Haiku # 65969, September 17, 2019 10:36 pm ET
by Student of School of semi hard knocks
Let's discuss waffles.
What are the best recipes?
I like them crispy.
Haiku # 65968, September 17, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by
All those tight students
bending over for a grade.
Goosh goosh goosh goosh goosh.
Haiku # 65967, September 17, 2019 9:22 pm ET
by
I know this is strange.
Math makes my penis feel big.
Exponentiate!
Haiku # 65966, September 17, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by
A point charge of q=5.0x10^8C is placed at the center of an uncharged spherical conducting shell of inner radius 6.0 cm and outer radius 9.0 cm. Find the electric potential at (a) r = 4.0 cm (b) r = 8.0 cm (c) r = 12.0 cm.

After solving, jack off onto the quiz and turn in your spooge-soaked paper so the professor can have a hot nutritious meal in the faculty lounge.

Female students get an automatic grade of F.
Haiku # 65965, September 17, 2019 8:55 pm ET
by Gay Physics Professor
A point charge of q=5.0Ã
Haiku # 65964, September 17, 2019 8:52 pm ET
by Gay Physics Professor
Just started work here
They told me to write haiku
And to make it bad
Haiku # 65963, September 17, 2019 8:04 pm ET
by New Poet of Workplace
toddlers will behave.
just play The Devil's Rejects.
they won't stop watching.
Haiku # 65962, September 17, 2019 7:56 pm ET
by Good Parent.
My math lab dot com.
Pay me to do your homework.
I am a math whore.
Haiku # 65961, September 17, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by
Emasculated.
Homosexuality.
Defenestration.
Haiku # 65960, September 17, 2019 7:21 pm ET
by of
I'd like to meet him.
Why does his mind work that way?
Nipress, Ash, Star Wars.

I do not get it.
I'm not gay, but I'd fuck him.
Down in my basement.
Haiku # 65959, September 17, 2019 6:59 pm ET
by Deliverance Poets. of *Cue hillbilly music.
NIPPRESS BLIPPRESS
ASH GRAASH
SMISH SMASH
NIPPRESS STARWARS THEMED
DARTH JAWA
Haiku # 65958, September 17, 2019 5:09 pm ET
by iamback
Electrocution
You're relaxing in the bath
Catch this hair dryer
Haiku # 65957, September 17, 2019 4:34 pm ET
by Zappy of Grounded
When the dark clouds burst
brown shit raindrops plop down
Then, hold out your tongue
Haiku # 65956, September 17, 2019 3:51 pm ET
by Grub of Earth
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