Even the pussy
Of a vegetarian
Can taste quite meaty
by Cunnilingual cuisine
Or you can rob banks.
Throw spaghetti at strangers.
Torture small insects.
You don't have to wank.
Just turn off the fucking phone!
Reconnect with trees.
by Anonymous Poet
Worship any God
Because it doesn't matter
Pray to Hulk Hogan
by Anonymous Poet
When you get real sick
Does the praying make you well
Or maybe doctors?
by Jesus is lard
Jimmy junior lies
His daddy wouldn't care one bit
He lied all the time
by Anonymous Poet
Well, you did make sense.
except about "go outside and..."
(You great wanker you.)
by Wankel Rotary Engine of One Piston Misfiring
Which do you hate more,
poets or their poetry?
Or fifty-fifty?
by Burn all Poetry!
Go ahead, pollute!
The faster the earth is gone,
we'll be in heaven.
by Except for gays an poets. of They burn in hell forever.
Regardless if climate change is real or not, less pollution is a good thing. There are just too many people putting a strain on the planet for electricity, fuel, food, etc. Live simply, live clean, turn off the computer, go outside and masturbate. Do not be ashamed, start a new movement.
by
I could not care less
about so-called climate change.
That's YOUR religion.
I'm not interested
in your fake apocalypse.
You need to get saved.
You substituted
this silly theory of doom
for Faith and true Hope.
by Need a Religion of Urgency and Lies
God the Holy Lord.
He gives you every heartbeat.
Repent and seek Him.
by It's not Over of Fat Lady Singing
Piss molten lava.
Shit thermonuclear bombs.
Drink imported beer.
by
r'(t) = (dx/dt)i + (dy/dt)j + (dz/dt)k
Because your penis is small.
Snufflupagus.
by Do you think The Count has a thing against irrational numbers?
So which one is worse,
if a person cannot read,
or can, but does not?
by df
If you have the clap
orgasms are more intense.
Go and share the joy.
by Satan's supervisor.
God is not happy.
He's not been since you were born.
Kill yourself today.
by Enjoying a goat milk cappuccino in the back of a low class Asian whorehouse.
For a good time call...
We went to the fair, skating,
and then a concert.
by Glad I called that number.
Am I missing out?
I never use the restroom.
Yes, I'm full of shit.
by Literally or figuratively?
Be a bug hunter.
A promiscuous person
who wants STDs.
Share it with your spouse.
But you must keep it secret.
Prolong the surprise.
You can die smiling,
twisted grin across your face,
just like the Joker.
by Sharing is Caring
I saw your number
Written on the bathroom wall
Show me a good time
by Restroom goer of Restroom
Simplify your life
Just eat until you explode
Get it over with
by Face Filler of Trough
The problem with math
Is all those numbers they have
So many problems
by Math student of Undisclosed
Heaven heaven God
The Lord's Kingdom of Heaven
Jesus Christ judgement
by A Backslidden Atheist of Tourette Syndrome
Fuck this cold cruel world
Another day of the same
Pain and suffering
by Had it of Up to here
Walking really fast
Can't get away from myself
Running backwards now
by Me of Trying to get away
Do you exercise?
Can you play and instrument?
What books do you like?
by That's cool. Lets fuck.
Solving a chem test.
Butt naked; air-con blowing.
Answers with dick pic.
Client's freaking out.
Shit, I thought it was funny.
No sense of humor.
Maybe it's the pus
oozing from my Prince Albert.
Pure titanium.
That's an element.
So, chemistry related.
What did she expect?
by
Every write a haiku
when you're really fucking stoned.
It's aliens, man.
by
I just shit my pants
Waiting for a commercial
Thank god for diapers
by Fuck pampers,buy huggies!
Every afternoon
Grandpa sucks his Werthers
Werthers is his dink
by Grandsonny boy of Porch glider
I yelled jump because
I wanted something to eat.
A bit messy though.
by
Eating soy hot dogs,
pretending that they are "dinks".
You're no cannibal.
Granola hippie.
Birkenstock wearing hipster.
Man-bun on your head.
The mountain witches
will cook the fat stray children
that you bring to them.
Eat their flesh and souls.
Be one with forest devils.
Drunk on demon cum.
Online tour package.
Jungle-cannibal dot com.
Offering group rates.
by Jimmy Dean's spicy dink links. of Organically grown and ethically slaughtered long pig. Order yours today!
You didn't listen
You didn't think I would jump
Why did you yell, "Jump!??"
by Splat of Sidewalk
I just eat the dinks
Too many preservatives
In store brand hot dogs
by Not Ralph Nader of Wiener Roast
You're an amateur.
That's why you eat the bodies.
There's no evidence.
And you gain power
by devouring their souls.
Trust me on this one.
by Darth Figpucker
People ask questions
When your neighbor turns up dead
And you're drenched with blood
by Neighbor of Neighborhood
G
E
T
N
A
K
E
D
!
!
!
by In the shopping mall.
Feel my rig shaking
So I pull over real quick
Unburden my load
by Mack of Roadside
Coming to Netflix
The Brother and Sister Ride.
And Cousin Orgy
by Satisfied of Couch
Cowboy Mexicans
Playing their Naco music
On Telemundo
by El guiro of Huitlihuachapatenzontletitlan
Canned meat is grotesque.
Trailer park hicks and Asian.
Only they enjoy.
by df
I don't think that's mud.
Grandpa ate some Fiber One
for breakfast today.
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate of Math Whore, Inc.
No no no silly
poet, I'm no professor,
but I'll do homework.
All you need to do
is open up your wallet.
Or your tight asshole.
I'm just a math whore.
I'll even do their exams.
Call for scheduling.
Fifty bucks per hour.
Your parents will never know.
You've heard that before.
by
On the wrestling mat
The grandparents caked in mud
Don't look, you'll go blind
by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
The can of salmon
Was considered a member
Of the family
by Half sister of can of salmon of Kitchen
So glad I cut class
Professor Darth Figpucker
Should be castrated
by Student of School of semi hard knocks
Let's discuss waffles.
What are the best recipes?
I like them crispy.
by
All those tight students
bending over for a grade.
Goosh goosh goosh goosh goosh.
by
