Dork Lard. Hey! Dork Lard.
I'm talking right to YOU, girl.
YOU need more dork lard.
by Suet Grease of Bacon Drippings
How do I get paid
For this fucking masterpiece?
Gimme some bitcoin
by Anonymous Poet
Sasquatch hunters ask
Does Bigfoot crap in the woods?
Photo all blurry
by Uncle Morty of Rhode Island
How about "Dork Lard"
As in "Dork Lard Figpucker"?
Could be your new name.
by Boutros Boutros Ghali of Where's Wally?
After submission
I counted the syllables
There were too many
by Sorry
You know what's more fun
Than an ejaculating shit?
A fecal cumshot
by Best of Both worlds
turbulent sea waves
washes my feet, then recedes . . .
I remember him.
by Sunita Sahoo of Odisha, India
Yes I think we should
Be paid for the poems here
Especially me
by Underpaid of Under the overpass
It took a few years
But I finally finished
Growing this mustache
by The all new Daryl Hall of Been out of touch
Fall makes me crazy
A seasonal adjustment
I'm out of my gourd
by Trudging along of PNW
Whatever you do,
Don't be an ignoramus,
Unless in poems.
by Darth FonkeyMister of But it's pronounced FunkyMister.... should I spell if FunkyMister?
Beyond Figpucker
Poetry without cuss words
Cannibal free zone
by Edgar Allan Poem of Creepville
Beyond Figpucker
Poetry without cuss words
Cannibal free zone
by Edgar Allan Poem of Creepville
Beyond Furburgers
Let's plant chia seed gardens
Where the sun don't shine
by Head full of crazy of Undisclosed
Spin! Land on bankrupt.
Wheel is a harsh mistress.
Vanna never speaks.
by Uncle Morty of Rhode Island
Infectious disease
Carried by a gentle breeze
Azmodius, sneeze!
by Ruana of Ella Ella Ella ay ay
Proboscis monkeys
look just like Bert and Ernie.
Am I right or what?
by Master FonkeyMister, Evil Dark Lord of the Sith of They love me, those silly monkeys.
As a conjoined twin
I feel it is my duty
To always flush twice
by Conjoined twin of Other twin is asleep
Not at all prepared
For the laxative effects
Of this large coffee
by Batten Downthehatches of Nowhere near a restroom
Chia Pet owners
This is like watching paint dry
Foaming at the mouth
by Ch ch ch chia of At these fine stores
I'm reminded of
Being buttfucked by a horse
When I try to sit
by Too beaucoup,too beaucoup
I hope she's okay!
One of the best actresses.
One night in Paris.
Fantastic movie!
It's an absolute must see.
Think I'll watch it now.
by Pres. Donald Trump
Exploding vape pipes
Paris Hilton's My Life score
Think of nothing else
by Life Coach of Life
Y'know... living in a 3rd world pig-sty where more than half the women look like pigs from eating so much goddamn greasy fatty pork... Somehow... I don't know "Figpucker" kind of loses its appeal to me. I need something equally disgusting.... what can it be?
Fickenchucker? Huzzincumper? Roatgaper? FonkeyMister.
The Dark Lord FonkeyMister. I like that one... what do you think?
Suggestions are appreciated.
by The Artist Formerly Known As Darth Figpucker
Conjoined twin poet,
do you possess one or two
sets of genitals?
by Darth Figpucker of Looking for a new fetish.
From inside his cage
The passenger pigeon learned
How to solve crosswords
by Mike Tyson of Pigeon Coop
Hi, we are conjoined twin haiku poets
So we get to use twice as many syllables as you
Don't even try to complain about this
by Conjoined twin poets of Together
Breaking Haiku News
All new haiku submissions
Will earn fifty cents
by M.T. Pockets of Haiku Central
My good ethnic man,
your colloquial language
has me at a loss.
by Percibald Smith, Esq. III of Good Old London Town drinking tea before a bit of croquet.
Ima tell all y'all:
it aint like that fo nuthin.
You feel me? Nuthin.
by Reginald Percy D'Aubuissant of Ebonics 101
Is it possible you can have a conjoined twin grow out of you? I mean like a mole that turn into a cyst that starts to sprout arms and legs and a head and likes to sing old show tunes? Fucking Giligan's Island theme song for the 8th time this morning. I need to have it removed, but the doctors say that I can't legally do that because it might die and since it can sing, it must have a consciousness of some kind and therefore be considered human even though it grew out of me and wasn't really born. I need to consult the Catholic Church on this one. Is it really considered a life? Or should it be removed? Oh the horrible ethics of it all!
by Will you scratch my ass, please -- I can't reach back that far.
Murder isn't sin.
All of God's creatures do it.
At least in some way.
by The boil on Satan's ass.
Well consarn it Clem,
pass that moonshine over here
and let's git cloggin' !
by Old Guy on his Porch of Great Smoky Mountains
Nach der sich mit der
Das liegt an der Grenze zum
Das liegt an der
by Nach dem uppen of Undisclosed
Well that's ironic.
Therapist or the rapist.
Better watch your gap.
by The ghost of Ted Bundy's underwear collection.
I was a rapist.
Then I became a poet.
Far more invasive.
Feel my words in you.
Oh how they pound in your head.
Now get therapy.
by
The next president
Should be a severed penis
Kept in a glass jar
by C. YA of On erection day
You, sir, ARE old cheese.
Go on over to Iran.
Take your guns with you.
You'll likely succeed
and become their new ruler.
Oil billionaire.
by
Though these poems suck,
they are not "slam poetry".
That shit's hideous.
by df
I smell like old cheese
I demand war with Iran
I smell like old cheese
by John Bolton's Mustache
He who masturbates
eighteen times every day...
Hold on, be right back.
by
I replaced my cum
With battery acid once
And burned my wife's mouth
by Tragic sense of humour
Autumn upon us
Fallen leaves hide soft dung
Warm coils, steam rises
by Trudging along of Undisclosed location
I cannot decide.
What's more sexy about Trump,
his ass or his mouth.
by Deliverance Hillbilly of A good reason to vote for Trump.
Wait, that was the speech
Now I recognize the guy
Yuge back end of Trump
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
An important speech
Punctuated by loud farts
Abruptly canceled
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
Throw away your pills
Kittens and Cats videos
Your health is restored
by Felix Toebeans of Under old willow
White socks with flip flops
Keeping Up With The
Pacific Northwest
by Shoe Fetish of Undisclosed
The wet grass whispered
I'll ruin your shoes, you bastard
That's just what happened
by Trudging along bastard of Wet grass
Whispered words foster
Your thoughts and desires captured
Package On the Way!
by Ledge of Kentucky
