BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
310 Days
and
65990 Haikus
later...
Everyone forgot.
But they said that they would not.
Must have been the Jews.
Haiku #65894, by
September 11, 2019 8:30 pm ET

Crime fighting choices.
Catwoman in area.
Batman packs condoms.
Haiku #65893, by Holy spermicide, Batman!
September 11, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Last slurp of coffee
Moth caught between two soft paws
Catwoman's day starts
Haiku #65892, by Catwoman of Gotham
September 11, 2019 12:23 pm ET

Criminals in fear.
Batman's shadow on the wall.
Moth near the light bulb.
Haiku #65891, by
September 11, 2019 8:50 am ET

Write shitty haiku
What?....nothing better to do
While taking a poo
Haiku #65890, by Captain Kirk
September 11, 2019 7:19 am ET

Talked to a phone ho
Fell asleep before I came
Just like in real life
Haiku #65889, by I make love to my wife.I just fuck yours.
September 11, 2019 7:15 am ET

That chop suey place
The Board of Health shut them down
I still have the shits
Haiku #65888, by Still Shitting of Near the nearest terlit
September 11, 2019 1:32 am ET

My wedding picture
But I have replaced the bride
With a new Fleshlight
Haiku #65887, by Spark Plugfucker of Man Cave
September 10, 2019 11:20 pm ET

But for the grace of
Something or other you know
Burp there would go I
Haiku #65886, by Drunk of Barstool
September 10, 2019 11:17 pm ET

Detached my penis
Sucked on it a few minutes
Swallowed the contents
Haiku #65885, by I can't believe it's not butter
September 10, 2019 11:17 pm ET

Smelly cheese, like feet
Rancid perfume worn by whores
Top notes of chair seat
Haiku #65884, by Nose of Apparently near you
September 10, 2019 11:15 pm ET

nothing really matters on line as much
as those you loved, can love, lost and remembered irl
Haiku #65883, by vhs
September 10, 2019 11:05 pm ET

Do you like it when
someone plays with your testes?
Does nothing for me.
Haiku #65882, by Shut up and suck it!
September 10, 2019 10:11 pm ET

How can you tell if
you're friend's homosexual?
His dick tastes like shit!
Haiku #65881, by Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
September 10, 2019 10:09 pm ET

I don't understand.
What aspect of anal sex
appeals to you.
Haiku #65880, by Stuck up, closed-minded straight man preaching The Word of Jesus Christ and The Gospel from God!
September 10, 2019 10:01 pm ET

I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I feel you watching me
Over there
Come to me
If you care
Don't sit and stare
It's just not fair
Make your move
If you dare
What, what
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
It's okay
To have a little fight
Don't you worry
I won't bite
(Not that hard)
If you want it
I'll give you power
Just be gentle
I'm delicate like a flower
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
I will give you what you need
All I want is your big fat seed
Give it to me, if you please
Give it to me, if you please
What what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
I said, what what, in the butt
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay
Haiku #65879, by Samwell & Butters of In the butt! Where else would you put it, silly buns?!
September 10, 2019 9:34 pm ET

Did you come in me?
Yes, but it's okay; I'm clean.
Said the gay boy toy.
Haiku #65878, by Noticer of the Glaringly Obvious of Behind your backside pumping away
September 10, 2019 9:22 pm ET

Robert Smith's goth taint
How did we overlook it?
It's the 8th wonder
Haiku #65877, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 10, 2019 8:46 pm ET

This site is worst site
Worst site in all of China
and also Hong Kong
Haiku #65876, by No Tickee No Laundry of Opium Den
September 10, 2019 12:24 pm ET

Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream she said
The one that makes me laugh she said
Threw her arms around my neck
Show me how you do it and I'll promise you
I'll promise that I'll run away with you, I'll run away with you
Spinning on that dizzy edge
Kissed her face and kissed her head
Dreamed of all the different ways, I had to make her glow
Why are you so far away she said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?
You, soft and only, you lost and lonely
You, strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone, alone, alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved and drowned her deep inside of me
You soft and only
You lost and lonely
You just like heaven
Haiku #65875, by evil bastard of Sing it!
September 10, 2019 10:54 am ET

I don't think you can
Find better poems online
This site has it all
Haiku #65874, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 10, 2019 1:22 am ET

Hey, at least they don't put the monitor on your "dink"... aka COCK!... well, I guess in your case it's a dink.

Cock Piercing device
lets cops know when you're naughty
The gay cops show up.
Haiku #65873, by At the YMCA... sing it! of Ha, now you'll have that tune in your head all day.
September 9, 2019 7:45 pm ET

What else would you do?
That leg monitoring thing
A dead giveaway
Haiku #65872, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 9, 2019 5:11 am ET

Why do we do this?
It's so counterproductive.
Tell me that I'm wrong.
Haiku #65871, by
September 9, 2019 5:05 am ET

ATTENTION LADIES
TODAY ONLY! ONE FREE HUG
WITH EVERY BLOW JOB!
Haiku #65870, by Proof of Purchase of Required
September 9, 2019 4:47 am ET

All poets should die.
Dye their hair bright pink and orange.
Get drunk and pass out.

Stand at a corner.
Pass out flowers to strangers.
Then they should kill them
Haiku #65869, by selves.
September 9, 2019 4:46 am ET

Strawberry dink spray.
You do not smell like a man.
You smell like some jam.

Don't cum on my toast.
I like jelly without seeds.
Forskin vacuum seal.
Haiku #65868, by
September 9, 2019 4:38 am ET

Penis Odor Spray
Do you have a stinky dink?
Pick some up today!
Haiku #65867, by Advertisement of Billboard
September 9, 2019 3:37 am ET

Antibiotics.
Preemptive STD drugs.
Viagra and meth.

Sometimes LSD.
But that's not easy to find
at "The Earth's Asshole".

Mountains of mushrooms.
Occasionally some pot.
Multivitamins.

Sometimes I take the
local witch doctor mixture.
Mountain tribe madman.
Haiku #65866, by I don't need the Viagra, but it makes the meth more intense.
September 9, 2019 1:28 am ET

CUUUUUUUUUUUNT!
Haiku #65865, by
September 9, 2019 12:40 am ET

Live in the moment
Steal garden gnomes from Kmart
Fill them with your spew
Haiku #65864, by Life Coach of Haiku Central
September 8, 2019 10:36 pm ET

we all will die, how
when, why, what and who are up
to each passing flesh
Haiku #65863, by vhs of so fuck off
September 8, 2019 10:23 pm ET

What medication
And how many different pills
Does Darth take? Let's guess.
Haiku #65862, by Stench of Figpucker Crosses Oceans
September 8, 2019 10:16 pm ET

Of all enemas
Chef Boyardee loved the MOST
Stuffed Ravioli
Haiku #65861, by Rural Guido of Boot
September 8, 2019 9:45 pm ET

Of all enemies
The Ultra Cuck hated one
Most... Reality
Haiku #65860, by Morgan Freeman of Narrating Ultra Cuck Movie Franchise
September 8, 2019 9:09 pm ET

No need for sidekick
All are inferior... still
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65859, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Roof, gazing in contempt at all you plebs
September 8, 2019 9:02 pm ET

I'm saving the world
Pick up litter... to relax:
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65858, by Ultra Cuck of focusing on the garbage outside, not inside
September 8, 2019 8:55 pm ET

The best at being
Very worst superhero
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65857, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
September 8, 2019 8:50 pm ET

Wait, God isn't real
And I guess neither is "bad"
*shrugs* Beating off to porn
Haiku #65856, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
September 8, 2019 8:47 pm ET

Guns are really bad
God is really really bad
Beating off to porn
Haiku #65855, by Ultra Cuck of The Cuck Lair: Pornography Department
September 8, 2019 8:45 pm ET

Someone's fee-fees got hurt
The gamma male must lash out
You, The Ultra Cuck
Haiku #65854, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2019 8:29 pm ET

Ripe figs that pucker
Like hemorrhoids of a trucker
Save those ones for me
Haiku #65853, by Fignacious D of Newton, MA
September 8, 2019 7:53 pm ET

I remember that
The handlebars on the bike
Smelled like E.T.'s bum
Haiku #65852, by Noticer of Details of Behind binoculars
September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Nationalism.
Homosexuality.
Simultaneous.

A flag stuck in dirt.
A tree that sprouts dead bodies.
Oozing money sap.
Haiku #65851, by Ozzy Osbourne Oozing Oodles of Nude Noodles.
September 8, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Grabbed onto a bus.
Was riding my bicycle.
50 mph.

Wiped out and still lived.
Thrown myself under a bus.
And still didn't die.

Lingers like Herpes.
Poems of mental patient.
And smells like pig shit.

But the smell's not mine.
I got that from your wife's cunt.
Stench will not wash off.
Haiku #65850, by And no fucking helmet!
September 8, 2019 6:53 pm ET

Christ poets are fags.
Faggots, trolls, and drama queens.
I hope you all die.
Haiku #65849, by Anonymous Poet
September 8, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Wouldn't be easy
Even if you had a gun
Cuz you're a pussy
Haiku #65848, by Seriously Kidding of Lighten Up You Faggot
September 8, 2019 6:07 pm ET

They were Flintstone kids
Ten million strong and growing
They ran down Fred's leg
Haiku #65847, by Wilma of Bedrock
September 8, 2019 4:07 pm ET

Someone just gave me
Seventeen free syllables
To write this haiku
Haiku #65846, by Starkitten of PNW
September 8, 2019 3:59 pm ET

Warming the church pew
Release of methane in wood
Ass Exorcism
Haiku #65845, by Smelly Kelli Ripper of Undisclosed
September 8, 2019 12:37 pm ET