BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
237 Days
67690 Haikus
Addams Family "Thing".
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Lurch happy endings.
Haiku #65523, by df
August 10, 2019 7:06 pm ET

Do you like the phrase,
"testicular fortitude,"
as much as I do?
Haiku #65522, by Inquiring minds
August 10, 2019 12:17 pm ET

Please don't say "matrix".
Damn linear algebra.
Brain acrobatics.
Haiku #65521, by Compute the null space of the orthogonal span of your grandmothers saggy tits and the dingleberries of the Jolly Green Giant.
August 10, 2019 6:02 am ET

There are no victims.
They are all false flag events.
Subscribe and hit "like".
Haiku #65520, by Matrix Imperatrix of Dominatrix
August 10, 2019 4:19 am ET

If nobody died
shootings would be funnier
Not to mention fun
Haiku #65519, by Life's too stressful
August 10, 2019 2:23 am ET

Water buffalo calf
with a broken front leg.
Lions eat you up.
Haiku #65518, by I'm such a victim. of Look at me, feel sorry for me, I hope I taste good for you.
August 10, 2019 12:08 am ET

You ever feel like your entire life has been a waste of time and you're just here for the benefit of others?
Haiku #65517, by Anonymous Poet
August 9, 2019 10:17 pm ET

Of course nobody
Will vote for his cracker ass...
Nasty old racist.
Haiku #65516, by David Duke's Mother-in-law of Crackerland
August 9, 2019 9:43 pm ET

It's all dog-whistling.
That's what it is, yes siree.
Trump's calling racists.
Haiku #65515, by Haile Sellassie of Greater Abyssinia
August 9, 2019 9:40 pm ET

(soyboy whines about pronouns)
Haiku #65514, by Much worse than Hitler of course
August 9, 2019 6:42 pm ET

Please remove your tongue
from your boyfriend's tight asshole
when you speak to me.
Haiku #65513, by Melania Trump wrote that previous poem, I bet. of Going down on secret service agents.
August 9, 2019 4:18 am ET

Haiku #65512, by POIIUFH
August 8, 2019 2:01 pm ET

Have you considered
a career in poetry?
I didn't think so.
Haiku #65511, by df of Hustlin' fo' them dollas
August 8, 2019 10:37 am ET

Dead dog catapult.
Launching canine carcasses
at the local church.
Haiku #65510, by Dog-a-pult. of 5 am church bells are complete bullshit!
August 8, 2019 4:37 am ET

poo in my gloves
how did it get there you ask
its my secret bitch
Haiku #65509, by BodoBlaubeere of Germany
August 7, 2019 8:28 pm ET

Poetry is gay.
Feel your ass getting juicy?
That's 'cause you read this.
Haiku #65508, by df
August 7, 2019 7:40 pm ET

The voice of reason
Emanates from your sphincter
All else: Distraction
Haiku #65507, by Walkin Funny of Nerd Section
August 7, 2019 2:02 pm ET

Rolang and Lofan:
Two lone voices of reason
in this insane place.
Haiku #65506, by Takes Two to Figpucker of Dearth of Darth
August 7, 2019 11:56 am ET

Sexy library girl
Wanted to see my huge, vast
collection of books

Books stacked like her
All over the GD place
How'd she read my mind?..
Haiku #65505, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 7, 2019 5:40 am ET

You rotten devils
killed innocent people
evil to the core

Your mind and soul- vile
The price that you will soon pay
merciless karma

your way of thinking
from both of the two poles
led you into hell
Haiku #65504, by Rolang of Kong Ming
August 7, 2019 5:20 am ET

To avoid reading
she sucked off her professors.
Suckma cum loude.
Haiku #65503, by Professor Figpucker
August 7, 2019 3:06 am ET

Longpig afternoon
Casually picking my teeth
Cutting farts at will
Haiku #65502, by Hearth Cricketfucker of Chirpy Chirpy
August 6, 2019 6:18 pm ET

Trapped in Phillipines
Darth is in Purgatory
but doesn't know it.
Haiku #65501, by Anonymous Poet
August 6, 2019 9:59 am ET

Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku #65500, by Star Trek Historian
August 5, 2019 12:19 pm ET

Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku #65499, by Star Trek Historian
August 5, 2019 12:17 pm ET

It's quite fun to watch
fat women eating bacon.
But would you fuck them?
Haiku #65498, by df
August 5, 2019 6:47 am ET

Did you know that some
monkeys speak with their eyebrows.
That's an inside joke.
Haiku #65497, by df of I'm such a racist asshole. No apologies.
August 5, 2019 4:45 am ET

Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.
Haiku #65496, by df
August 5, 2019 4:43 am ET

Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.

I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!

Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!
Haiku #65495, by df of The Philippines sucks! Bad food, litter, shit everywhere, gold diggers as far as the eye can see.
August 5, 2019 4:41 am ET

Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.

I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.

But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get. Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs. One example. How long should a door knob last under normal conditions. 5 to 10 years? Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year. I mean, what the fuck?! One stupid example. Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries. The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place. Worse than the drug dealers or gangs. Fucking political corruption everywhere. The more corruption, the more poverty. Proportional.
Haiku #65494, by df
August 4, 2019 9:42 pm ET

Just ate Chinese food
Now, thoughts of Baryshnikov
That leotard bulge
Haiku #65493, by Hungry of Twenty minutes later
August 4, 2019 7:57 pm ET

China and Russia
Are battle for USA
Both make bad movie
Haiku #65492, by Long Brostrong of the Starship Enterprise
August 4, 2019 6:24 pm ET

Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
Then- take his money
Haiku #65491, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:38 am ET

Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
And taks his money
Haiku #65490, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:35 am ET

They yearn to be free
While back in the USA
Chumps- vote for Bernie
Haiku #65489, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:29 am ET

Right now in Hong Kong
One hundred thousand Tank Men
Saddle up for war
Haiku #65488, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:24 am ET

Poor Richard Gere
Told the truth about Chicom's
Never work again...
Haiku #65487, by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
August 4, 2019 9:17 am ET

Lost track of the time
Alone at the train station
Stray dog approaches

Who are you? I ask
I m Richard Gere s akita
I take him right therr
Haiku #65486, by Screwed
August 4, 2019 6:06 am ET

Spread your legs Grandma
Grandpa choked on the dust cloud
Knocked him off his feet

Confused and alone
John Boy Walton s mole beat off
With help from his host
Haiku #65485, by Respect for your elders of Walton s Mountain
August 4, 2019 5:49 am ET

Trudging through hot sand
Sore camel toe on display
Much talk of humping
Haiku #65484, by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
August 4, 2019 12:42 am ET

Calamine lotion
On the end of your penis
Now your dink is pink
Haiku #65483, by Rosy Gonadz of Under old willow
August 4, 2019 12:13 am ET

Summer camp pervert
Watching you defecating
And wiping with leaves
Haiku #65482, by Pervert of Camp
August 3, 2019 11:27 pm ET

Somebody once said
If you have really big feet
Your dink should be large
Haiku #65481, by Uber driver of Waiting and masturbating
August 3, 2019 10:33 pm ET

Haiku #65480, by throw those fags out the window!
August 3, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Opera theater.
Contemplate urinating.
From the balcony.
Haiku #65479, by BroMany thanks to our sponsors: General Electric, Exxon, and the Charlie Manson Foundation. of San Diego Opera Scenic Studio
August 3, 2019 10:14 pm ET

Make it hurt so good
Said John Cougar Menstrualcramp
Blood on the scarecrow
Haiku #65478, by If I only had a brain of Red brick road
August 3, 2019 5:08 am ET

Help me pop my cyst.
It's right under my nut sack.
Oh, you're sooo boring!

Real men love cyst pus.
What the fuck is wrong with you?!
You are so damn dull!

So are your haiku.
Stinky grandma twat curtains.
See, that's a poem!
Haiku #65477, by Funt Cart! The most awesome poet in the world!
August 2, 2019 8:46 am ET

You know you love it!
Testicle scab jerky flakes.
Better stop scratching.

Don't torture yourself.
Go away and don't return.
You must cure this itch.
Haiku #65476, by
August 1, 2019 11:04 pm ET

I've gotten to the
point where I cannot function
without strong coffee.

I am an addict.
But I am okay with that.
At least I'm not you.
Haiku #65475, by
August 1, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Why do I come here?
To read shit haiku's like these?
It would appear so
Haiku #65474, by This site fuckin sucks
August 1, 2019 10:55 pm ET