Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 135 Days and 76968 Haiku later...

i took it to heart
felt nervous in real life, heart
felt like it would blow

over this place, stuck in
amber, moods, stuck in time poof
what is the whole point
Haiku # 65267, July 12, 2019 2:41 am ET
by vhs
frustration projects
sometimes it becomes the urge
to control, accuse

mccarthy trials, dead from drink
in 1957
Haiku # 65266, July 12, 2019 2:38 am ET
by vhs
shrugs, words on a screen
accusations, left behind then
what, its all a dream
Haiku # 65265, July 12, 2019 2:36 am ET
by fuggetaboutit
Goddman dope made me want ice cream... sigh.
Haiku # 65264, July 12, 2019 2:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
And a billion fucking dollars and a fleet of jet fighters and space shuttles and I want to launch nuclear warheads at the moon b/c I mean, why the hell not.
If that's too much to ask, then fuck alla yous, I'll go smoke some dope.
Haiku # 65263, July 12, 2019 2:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ice cream and hot chicks
with big tits and tight pussies.
It's too much to ask?!
Haiku # 65262, July 12, 2019 2:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I want some ice cream.
Real fucking dairy ice cream.
It's too much to ask?!
Haiku # 65261, July 12, 2019 2:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Low hanging smoke rings
Ring round Andy Williams dink
Fucked him back alive
Haiku # 65260, July 12, 2019 2:08 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Discotheque
Old men parade by,
displaying girl of the week.
Hugh Hefner they're not.
Haiku # 65259, July 12, 2019 1:57 am ET
by Review time. What do you call it when a whore farts? of A prosti-toot.
Her clit was so big
she fucked her boyfriend with it.
No need for strap-ons.
Haiku # 65258, July 12, 2019 1:52 am ET
by It's only gay if you think about it too much.
Christ your cunt is huge!
What is its diameter?
You should measure it.
Haiku # 65257, July 12, 2019 1:00 am ET
by We've got a world record here!
I once saw a troll.
Jumped from under the foot bridge.
He scared the children.

Katie Perry plays.
Fills me with the urge to poo.
Yeah, I shouldn't judge.

You're no firework.
Baby, you're a fizzling dud.
There's no boom boom here.
Haiku # 65256, July 12, 2019 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Insemination
On a volunteer basis
Lay back and spread em
Haiku # 65255, July 11, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by No way to talk to a cow
VHS and Darth:
it beomes obvious now
they are both clueless
Haiku # 65254, July 11, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
who said all of us
were human? humans are great
and entertaining

the people who hate their
own kind are demons waiting
to populate Hell.
Haiku # 65253, July 11, 2019 8:30 pm ET
by vhs
Vagina Hump Slime.
All humans are obsolete.
We are not needed.
Haiku # 65252, July 11, 2019 5:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
God whispered to me
Wanna see my big cloudwhacker?
Look or I ll smote you
Haiku # 65251, July 11, 2019 1:19 pm ET
by Trudging along of Life
The sea appears calm
Jacques Cousteau slaps his scrod meat
Brings sharks to the yard
Haiku # 65250, July 11, 2019 12:26 pm ET
by Aroused clam
Turn around three times
Now three times the other way
Now hunch out a coil
Haiku # 65249, July 11, 2019 11:50 am ET
by Dog of Lawn
VHS and Darth...
They're out of the chute and off!
Smells like time to flush.
Haiku # 65248, July 11, 2019 9:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
so i would say i
am expressing depression
over a damn website
Haiku # 65247, July 11, 2019 9:07 am ET
by vhs
i just do not want
to feel obsolete when so many
of my gen are dead

by bad choices
Haiku # 65246, July 11, 2019 9:06 am ET
by vhs
i feel dead already
i dont want to go out
i just want to leave
Haiku # 65245, July 11, 2019 8:59 am ET
by vhs
its a team effort
family, young and old
working together

we have forgotten
Haiku # 65244, July 11, 2019 8:29 am ET
by vhs
i dont want to go
back, i dont want to respond
but damn it all to

hell im going away
because someone thinks i should
be dead for an agenda

the young always think
if those older folks were out
of the way they could

change the world. we all
die, we are in this togethet
now kindly freak out
Haiku # 65243, July 11, 2019 8:28 am ET
by vhs
i feel a strong real
life urge of regret having
come back to this place
Haiku # 65242, July 11, 2019 8:19 am ET
by vhs
I come here in peace
Sharing family tradition
Announcing our farts
Haiku # 65241, July 11, 2019 5:10 am ET
by Nuclear Family of Mushroom cloud
Last hole you were in
You contracted syphilis
Better check your dink
Haiku # 65240, July 11, 2019 5:07 am ET
by Rural squinty Guido
might as well ramble
on, we are all in this same
mess together now
Haiku # 65239, July 11, 2019 5:05 am ET
by vhs
sometimes anger just
happens, then we move on or
let others do so
Haiku # 65238, July 11, 2019 5:04 am ET
by vhs
we all end up in
a hole sooner or later
what we do before

we get there...priceless
Haiku # 65237, July 11, 2019 5:02 am ET
by vhs
words can wound, words can
heal, old age will be the same
others shall mock thee
Haiku # 65236, July 11, 2019 5:01 am ET
by vhs
react, jump, react
we are all spinning, we all
die, we all live too
Haiku # 65235, July 11, 2019 5:00 am ET
by vhs
You dumb dinosaur
Obsolete and soon extinct
Don't you know....time's up?

Your tiny little brain
Only knows about violence
As a solution

Scared of the green deal
And people who aren't white bread
Oh I pity you

Scared little bunny
The world is changing so fast
And you can't stop it

Go back to your hole
You can't save anything bub
Not even yourself

You are unneeded
Except for washing dishes
And feeding the worms
Haiku # 65234, July 11, 2019 4:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i try not to think
of frogs, the thought just might make
me jump out at flies
Haiku # 65233, July 11, 2019 4:45 am ET
by vhs
shaking off the crust
of too much rusty poem
that old samsara
Haiku # 65232, July 11, 2019 4:38 am ET
by vhs
Was that thought allowed?
God, are you listening?
Insect frequency
Haiku # 65231, July 11, 2019 4:01 am ET
by God is a bug of Roach motel
Sit on a park bench
Allow birds to perch on you
Coat dink with birdseed
Haiku # 65230, July 11, 2019 3:23 am ET
by Audoboner Society of Dick s Feed and Seed
Burn all poetry.
The only thoughts you should have
are those I allow.
Haiku # 65229, July 11, 2019 2:35 am ET
by Big Brother
Sir Sparklepony,
if you are a horse doctor,
what you think of frogs?
Haiku # 65228, July 11, 2019 2:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Past life regression
You were always an asshole
And we go way back
Haiku # 65227, July 11, 2019 1:49 am ET
by Trudging along of Past Present Future
As I was saying
The true path to happiness
Is cunnilingus
Haiku # 65226, July 11, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Recipient
Overreact much?
Oh lighten up VHS
it's poems....not war
Haiku # 65225, July 11, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I may just be a sentient horse that
Eschews traditional syllabalic format
But I know as well as you that some
People have no interest in saving
Or being saved for that matter
Trust me, I'm a horse doctor
Obsess not; the horseman cometh
(Predictably shitty haiku incoming)
Haiku # 65224, July 11, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD of Keep Calm and Trot On
i can remove myself
from real life and here to better
places, what was that

about the good samaritan
not leaving you on the side of
the road to die?

perhaps i will walk on
Haiku # 65223, July 10, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by vhs
about time eh?
now about that fucking off suggestion?
Haiku # 65222, July 10, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by vhs of the other white meat
Hey he must be back
The one that always rambles
On and on and on
Haiku # 65221, July 10, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by The Guy From Maine
best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku # 65220, July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku # 65219, July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
in fact if a gen
feels "justice" needs to be done
we might have to fight

you, to the death...oh
alexandria??? to deal with
pompous new green deals

or social engineering
take my guns, take my life, take
a risk to civil war

the blood of patrioits and progressives and a wake up
call when something serious happens
Haiku # 65218, July 10, 2019 10:03 pm ET
by vhs
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