BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
6 Days
and
66434 Haikus
later...
And a billion fucking dollars and a fleet of jet fighters and space shuttles and I want to launch nuclear warheads at the moon b/c I mean, why the hell not.
If that's too much to ask, then fuck alla yous, I'll go smoke some dope.
Haiku #65263, by Anonymous Poet
July 12, 2019 2:15 am ET

Ice cream and hot chicks
with big tits and tight pussies.
It's too much to ask?!
Haiku #65262, by Anonymous Poet
July 12, 2019 2:12 am ET

I want some ice cream.
Real fucking dairy ice cream.
It's too much to ask?!
Haiku #65261, by Anonymous Poet
July 12, 2019 2:10 am ET

Low hanging smoke rings
Ring round Andy Williams dink
Fucked him back alive
Haiku #65260, by Walkin Funny of Discotheque
July 12, 2019 2:08 am ET

Old men parade by,
displaying girl of the week.
Hugh Hefner they're not.
Haiku #65259, by Review time. What do you call it when a whore farts? of A prosti-toot.
July 12, 2019 1:57 am ET

Her clit was so big
she fucked her boyfriend with it.
No need for strap-ons.
Haiku #65258, by It's only gay if you think about it too much.
July 12, 2019 1:52 am ET

Christ your cunt is huge!
What is its diameter?
You should measure it.
Haiku #65257, by We've got a world record here!
July 12, 2019 1:00 am ET

I once saw a troll.
Jumped from under the foot bridge.
He scared the children.

Katie Perry plays.
Fills me with the urge to poo.
Yeah, I shouldn't judge.

You're no firework.
Baby, you're a fizzling dud.
There's no boom boom here.
Haiku #65256, by Anonymous Poet
July 12, 2019 12:57 am ET

Insemination
On a volunteer basis
Lay back and spread em
Haiku #65255, by No way to talk to a cow
July 11, 2019 11:53 pm ET

VHS and Darth:
it beomes obvious now
they are both clueless
Haiku #65254, by Anonymous Poet
July 11, 2019 10:50 pm ET

who said all of us
were human? humans are great
and entertaining

the people who hate their
own kind are demons waiting
to populate Hell.
Haiku #65253, by vhs
July 11, 2019 8:30 pm ET

Vagina Hump Slime.
All humans are obsolete.
We are not needed.
Haiku #65252, by Anonymous Poet
July 11, 2019 5:25 pm ET

God whispered to me
Wanna see my big cloudwhacker?
Look or I ll smote you
Haiku #65251, by Trudging along of Life
July 11, 2019 1:19 pm ET

The sea appears calm
Jacques Cousteau slaps his scrod meat
Brings sharks to the yard
Haiku #65250, by Aroused clam
July 11, 2019 12:26 pm ET

Turn around three times
Now three times the other way
Now hunch out a coil
Haiku #65249, by Dog of Lawn
July 11, 2019 11:50 am ET

VHS and Darth...
They're out of the chute and off!
Smells like time to flush.
Haiku #65248, by Anonymous Poet
July 11, 2019 9:39 am ET

so i would say i
am expressing depression
over a damn website
Haiku #65247, by vhs
July 11, 2019 9:07 am ET

i just do not want
to feel obsolete when so many
of my gen are dead

by bad choices
Haiku #65246, by vhs
July 11, 2019 9:06 am ET

i feel dead already
i dont want to go out
i just want to leave
Haiku #65245, by vhs
July 11, 2019 8:59 am ET

its a team effort
family, young and old
working together

we have forgotten
Haiku #65244, by vhs
July 11, 2019 8:29 am ET

i dont want to go
back, i dont want to respond
but damn it all to

hell im going away
because someone thinks i should
be dead for an agenda

the young always think
if those older folks were out
of the way they could

change the world. we all
die, we are in this togethet
now kindly freak out
Haiku #65243, by vhs
July 11, 2019 8:28 am ET

i feel a strong real
life urge of regret having
come back to this place
Haiku #65242, by vhs
July 11, 2019 8:19 am ET

I come here in peace
Sharing family tradition
Announcing our farts
Haiku #65241, by Nuclear Family of Mushroom cloud
July 11, 2019 5:10 am ET

Last hole you were in
You contracted syphilis
Better check your dink
Haiku #65240, by Rural squinty Guido
July 11, 2019 5:07 am ET

might as well ramble
on, we are all in this same
mess together now
Haiku #65239, by vhs
July 11, 2019 5:05 am ET

sometimes anger just
happens, then we move on or
let others do so
Haiku #65238, by vhs
July 11, 2019 5:04 am ET

we all end up in
a hole sooner or later
what we do before

we get there...priceless
Haiku #65237, by vhs
July 11, 2019 5:02 am ET

words can wound, words can
heal, old age will be the same
others shall mock thee
Haiku #65236, by vhs
July 11, 2019 5:01 am ET

react, jump, react
we are all spinning, we all
die, we all live too
Haiku #65235, by vhs
July 11, 2019 5:00 am ET

You dumb dinosaur
Obsolete and soon extinct
Don't you know....time's up?

Your tiny little brain
Only knows about violence
As a solution

Scared of the green deal
And people who aren't white bread
Oh I pity you

Scared little bunny
The world is changing so fast
And you can't stop it

Go back to your hole
You can't save anything bub
Not even yourself

You are unneeded
Except for washing dishes
And feeding the worms
Haiku #65234, by Anonymous Poet
July 11, 2019 4:47 am ET

i try not to think
of frogs, the thought just might make
me jump out at flies
Haiku #65233, by vhs
July 11, 2019 4:45 am ET

shaking off the crust
of too much rusty poem
that old samsara
Haiku #65232, by vhs
July 11, 2019 4:38 am ET

Was that thought allowed?
God, are you listening?
Insect frequency
Haiku #65231, by God is a bug of Roach motel
July 11, 2019 4:01 am ET

Sit on a park bench
Allow birds to perch on you
Coat dink with birdseed
Haiku #65230, by Audoboner Society of Dick s Feed and Seed
July 11, 2019 3:23 am ET

Burn all poetry.
The only thoughts you should have
are those I allow.
Haiku #65229, by Big Brother
July 11, 2019 2:35 am ET

Sir Sparklepony,
if you are a horse doctor,
what you think of frogs?
Haiku #65228, by Anonymous Poet
July 11, 2019 2:31 am ET

Past life regression
You were always an asshole
And we go way back
Haiku #65227, by Trudging along of Past Present Future
July 11, 2019 1:49 am ET

As I was saying
The true path to happiness
Is cunnilingus
Haiku #65226, by Recipient
July 11, 2019 1:33 am ET

Overreact much?
Oh lighten up VHS
it's poems....not war
Haiku #65225, by Anonymous Poet
July 11, 2019 12:16 am ET

I may just be a sentient horse that
Eschews traditional syllabalic format
But I know as well as you that some
People have no interest in saving
Or being saved for that matter
Trust me, I'm a horse doctor
Obsess not; the horseman cometh
(Predictably shitty haiku incoming)
Haiku #65224, by Sparklepony, MD of Keep Calm and Trot On
July 11, 2019 12:14 am ET

i can remove myself
from real life and here to better
places, what was that

about the good samaritan
not leaving you on the side of
the road to die?

perhaps i will walk on
Haiku #65223, by vhs
July 10, 2019 11:54 pm ET

about time eh?
now about that fucking off suggestion?
Haiku #65222, by vhs of the other white meat
July 10, 2019 11:46 pm ET

Hey he must be back
The one that always rambles
On and on and on
Haiku #65221, by The Guy From Maine
July 10, 2019 10:31 pm ET

best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku #65220, by vhs
July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET

best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku #65219, by vhs
July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET

in fact if a gen
feels "justice" needs to be done
we might have to fight

you, to the death...oh
alexandria??? to deal with
pompous new green deals

or social engineering
take my guns, take my life, take
a risk to civil war

the blood of patrioits and progressives and a wake up
call when something serious happens
Haiku #65218, by vhs
July 10, 2019 10:03 pm ET

the words "triggered" or
warnings for a gen
trained to overreact

addicted to outrage
my gen didn't always care if
you killed yourself on

the other end, our
privacy was more important
this is wrong but it

it was so, and how
many times might i myself have
hated myself deeply like that?
Haiku #65217, by vhs
July 10, 2019 10:01 pm ET

the most repulsive
people in the world tempt me
to desire their deaths

of course that is mad
and does no one any good
some felt that of me

we are all not the
same but we are all the same
good and evil, there
Haiku #65216, by vhs
July 10, 2019 10:00 pm ET

scowls... so you'd rather
see the malls vacated
amazon wins the

game, as a monopoly
this place is gotten together
because a generation

needs "rules" (seriously,
Seig Heil has the same reaction
from me, or political correctness)

Being i assume the person who posted the we need rules here idea wasn't born during the zeitgeist of the birth of Internet
one which had people and things
you could easily interact with you could get arrested for.

Let's start burning people at
the stake again, or let's start dunking people to see if they float or not

Sharia law, or fuck off and get over it. Sorry if you might just be a friend of mine.
Haiku #65215, by vhs
July 10, 2019 9:58 pm ET

Was that too racist?
You never can tell these days.
Damn PC snowflakes.
Haiku #65214, by Anonymous Poet
July 10, 2019 9:12 pm ET