Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 318 Days and 76713 Haiku later...

Past life regression
You were always an asshole
And we go way back
Haiku # 65227, July 11, 2019 1:49 am ET
by Trudging along of Past Present Future
As I was saying
The true path to happiness
Is cunnilingus
Haiku # 65226, July 11, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Recipient
Overreact much?
Oh lighten up VHS
it's poems....not war
Haiku # 65225, July 11, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I may just be a sentient horse that
Eschews traditional syllabalic format
But I know as well as you that some
People have no interest in saving
Or being saved for that matter
Trust me, I'm a horse doctor
Obsess not; the horseman cometh
(Predictably shitty haiku incoming)
Haiku # 65224, July 11, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD of Keep Calm and Trot On
i can remove myself
from real life and here to better
places, what was that

about the good samaritan
not leaving you on the side of
the road to die?

perhaps i will walk on
Haiku # 65223, July 10, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by vhs
about time eh?
now about that fucking off suggestion?
Haiku # 65222, July 10, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by vhs of the other white meat
Hey he must be back
The one that always rambles
On and on and on
Haiku # 65221, July 10, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by The Guy From Maine
best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku # 65220, July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku # 65219, July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
in fact if a gen
feels "justice" needs to be done
we might have to fight

you, to the death...oh
alexandria??? to deal with
pompous new green deals

or social engineering
take my guns, take my life, take
a risk to civil war

the blood of patrioits and progressives and a wake up
call when something serious happens
Haiku # 65218, July 10, 2019 10:03 pm ET
by vhs
the words "triggered" or
warnings for a gen
trained to overreact

addicted to outrage
my gen didn't always care if
you killed yourself on

the other end, our
privacy was more important
this is wrong but it

it was so, and how
many times might i myself have
hated myself deeply like that?
Haiku # 65217, July 10, 2019 10:01 pm ET
by vhs
the most repulsive
people in the world tempt me
to desire their deaths

of course that is mad
and does no one any good
some felt that of me

we are all not the
same but we are all the same
good and evil, there
Haiku # 65216, July 10, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by vhs
scowls... so you'd rather
see the malls vacated
amazon wins the

game, as a monopoly
this place is gotten together
because a generation

needs "rules" (seriously,
Seig Heil has the same reaction
from me, or political correctness)

Being i assume the person who posted the we need rules here idea wasn't born during the zeitgeist of the birth of Internet
one which had people and things
you could easily interact with you could get arrested for.

Let's start burning people at
the stake again, or let's start dunking people to see if they float or not

Sharia law, or fuck off and get over it. Sorry if you might just be a friend of mine.
Haiku # 65215, July 10, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by vhs
Was that too racist?
You never can tell these days.
Damn PC snowflakes.
Haiku # 65214, July 10, 2019 9:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's quite difficult.
You'll likely need a black girl.
Or boy, if you like.
Haiku # 65213, July 10, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That is not the truth.
You haven't tried the nostril.
Go on, stuff it in.
Haiku # 65212, July 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Those bedroom shenanigans
Tried in every hole
Haiku # 65211, July 10, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Tired and chafed
Sounds like censorship
But I do agree with you
This place is childish
Haiku # 65210, July 9, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Captain Kirk
Grandma wore a bib
When she was eating lobster
Or blowing Grandpa
Haiku # 65209, July 9, 2019 8:34 pm ET
by Neat Freak
Excuse me... 23 year experiment.
Haiku # 65208, July 9, 2019 8:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Well, you don't make people log in, any old angry bastard with erectile dysfunction or zit-face virgin living with mommy can get on here and say whatever.... Yeah, this site needs a serious overhaul.
(1) Log in.
(2) Poems only go public once approved.

I mean, this fucking turds and "Jesus fucks your grandma" and all that garbage... If you want to read the thoughts of sick demented worms, then keep it as is.

Otherwise, I'd just assume see this 21 year experiment shitcanned if it can't be upgraded.
Haiku # 65207, July 9, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All you Facebook clowns
Instead of Mark Zuckerberg
Haiku # 65206, July 9, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by Duck Face
His shaft was rock hard
Bit off the end with a SNAP!
Like Essem hot dogs
Haiku # 65205, July 9, 2019 6:43 pm ET
by Warm bun of Your oven
Father's suck off little boys
Banners burnt after eating the literal shit of my fesis

He asked if he/she could eat me
But I was grossed out by the fact that the pics tacs did nothing to cover up
His shit breath

Must've been from sucking off his own shit from Jesus the big head Lucifer's dick
Haiku # 65204, July 9, 2019 6:39 pm ET
by Jesus InYour of Your RearEnd
This just came to mind
Has anyone ever fucked
A chunk of feces?
Haiku # 65203, July 9, 2019 6:32 pm ET
by Brown Moan of Porch glider
Historic outhouse
Our founding fathers made splat
On this splintered slat
Haiku # 65202, July 9, 2019 6:28 pm ET
by Flag Waving Anus of Puckerupper
Amazing volume:
the sheer verbiage you type...
most of it boring
Haiku # 65201, July 9, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by Boring Infantile Imagery Repeated Ad Nauseum
Haiku erection
FIVE inches plus SEVEN plus
FIVE more hard inches
Haiku # 65199, July 9, 2019 10:08 am ET
by Walkin Funny of Zucchini in my pants
So I looked it up.
DINK -- Dual income, no kids.
And there you have it.

Now Google for "cock".
You'll find huge shlongs all over
your computer screen.
Haiku # 65198, July 9, 2019 6:06 am ET
by My god, this is gay.
Popping pimpled pores
From the edge of Moher Cliffs
Flying face guano
Haiku # 65197, July 9, 2019 2:37 am ET
by ShemegHmah O Toole of Taint
Life hands you lemons
Open a lemonade stand
In your own trousers
Haiku # 65196, July 9, 2019 2:30 am ET
by Silver Lining of Gunty and the Guntettes
More entertaining
if we superglued his "dink"
down between his legs.

No more urinal.
He'd have to pee like a girl.
Forget erections.
Haiku # 65194, July 9, 2019 12:55 am ET
by "dink" is so gay... can we just say cock like normal people... oh, but of course, I forgot, you're a "poet".
Hanging by his hat
Old Superglue commercial
Someone suck his dink
Haiku # 65193, July 8, 2019 11:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Is it just bad luck
If the church steeple falls off
And lands right on you
Haiku # 65192, July 8, 2019 10:28 pm ET
by Heathen
High at work today
Smelling coworkers armpits
I wear Birkenstocks
Haiku # 65191, July 8, 2019 9:39 pm ET
by Bev of Walking on a tilt
When killing someone
Be sure to cut the head off
Before eating it
Haiku # 65190, July 8, 2019 2:43 pm ET
by Have a nice day
When shooting oneself
Make sure the walls are covered
In case blood splatters
Haiku # 65189, July 8, 2019 7:53 am ET
by Be courteous to others
At the Last Supper
Jesus pulled the tablecloth
Oh, what a showman!
Haiku # 65188, July 8, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Doug Henning of High AF
Let's diss Muhammad.
I mean, he fucked little girls.
And quite likely goats.
Haiku # 65187, July 8, 2019 7:11 am ET
by Ooooo, so edgy!
Jesus wiped for thee
Behold the Shroud of Turin
Prototype Charmin
Haiku # 65186, July 8, 2019 2:54 am ET
by Holy Chit of 2ply Heavenly Soft
Those tears that you see
Running down my leg are pee
Holy water s free
Haiku # 65185, July 8, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Laughing Jesus of 1900 DirtyJoke
Cry boo hoo
Says weeping Jesus
We enjoy your tears keep giving us Fame
You're nothing but a fucking lame
Haiku # 65184, July 8, 2019 2:04 am ET
by Jesus Wept of For Me
No virgin I see
Nothing but a crawling whore to us that see.
Don't worry bout him he's with me
Haiku # 65183, July 8, 2019 2:01 am ET
by We get money of U Lose
Put it in your mouth
If you want to kill yourself
Not to your temple
Haiku # 65182, July 8, 2019 1:57 am ET
by Suicide 101
Greatest touch without being there
I felt his presence in the air
Through the mind it was taken there
And burst of pleasure in the air
Virgin twin woah water everywhere
Haiku # 65181, July 8, 2019 1:57 am ET
by How did u do it of Amazing
The only way to do this is to get a new car and then get a new truck and then get a new one for me to go to shop for a new house
Haiku # 65180, July 8, 2019 1:34 am ET
by Greedy
Morning health smoothie
Made from elite athlete s poop
You will get the runs
Haiku # 65179, July 8, 2019 1:30 am ET
by Juice Brenner of Yule Log in terlit
And I thought if it fucked me in spirit it at least would've had a dick
Haiku # 65178, July 8, 2019 12:55 am ET
by My Cup Over Floweth of From Had To Use My Mind
And I thought if it fucked me in spirit it at least would've had a dick
Haiku # 65177, July 8, 2019 12:54 am ET
by My Cup Over Floweth of From Had To Use My Mind
People are funny
When they think you aren t looking

They like to jerk off
Haiku # 65176, July 8, 2019 12:42 am ET
by Peripheral Visionary of Church
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