Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 262 Days and 71126 Haikus later...

On a volunteer basis
Lay back and spread em
Haiku # 65255, July 11, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by No way to talk to a cow
VHS and Darth:
it beomes obvious now
they are both clueless
Haiku # 65254, July 11, 2019 10:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
who said all of us
were human? humans are great
and entertaining

the people who hate their
own kind are demons waiting
to populate Hell.
Haiku # 65253, July 11, 2019 8:30 pm ET
by vhs
Vagina Hump Slime.
All humans are obsolete.
We are not needed.
Haiku # 65252, July 11, 2019 5:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
God whispered to me
Wanna see my big cloudwhacker?
Look or I ll smote you
Haiku # 65251, July 11, 2019 1:19 pm ET
by Trudging along of Life
The sea appears calm
Jacques Cousteau slaps his scrod meat
Brings sharks to the yard
Haiku # 65250, July 11, 2019 12:26 pm ET
by Aroused clam
Turn around three times
Now three times the other way
Now hunch out a coil
Haiku # 65249, July 11, 2019 11:50 am ET
by Dog of Lawn
VHS and Darth...
They're out of the chute and off!
Smells like time to flush.
Haiku # 65248, July 11, 2019 9:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
so i would say i
am expressing depression
over a damn website
Haiku # 65247, July 11, 2019 9:07 am ET
by vhs
i just do not want
to feel obsolete when so many
of my gen are dead

by bad choices
Haiku # 65246, July 11, 2019 9:06 am ET
by vhs
i feel dead already
i dont want to go out
i just want to leave
Haiku # 65245, July 11, 2019 8:59 am ET
by vhs
its a team effort
family, young and old
working together

we have forgotten
Haiku # 65244, July 11, 2019 8:29 am ET
by vhs
i dont want to go
back, i dont want to respond
but damn it all to

hell im going away
because someone thinks i should
be dead for an agenda

the young always think
if those older folks were out
of the way they could

change the world. we all
die, we are in this togethet
now kindly freak out
Haiku # 65243, July 11, 2019 8:28 am ET
by vhs
i feel a strong real
life urge of regret having
come back to this place
Haiku # 65242, July 11, 2019 8:19 am ET
by vhs
I come here in peace
Sharing family tradition
Announcing our farts
Haiku # 65241, July 11, 2019 5:10 am ET
by Nuclear Family of Mushroom cloud
Last hole you were in
You contracted syphilis
Better check your dink
Haiku # 65240, July 11, 2019 5:07 am ET
by Rural squinty Guido
might as well ramble
on, we are all in this same
mess together now
Haiku # 65239, July 11, 2019 5:05 am ET
by vhs
sometimes anger just
happens, then we move on or
let others do so
Haiku # 65238, July 11, 2019 5:04 am ET
by vhs
we all end up in
a hole sooner or later
what we do before

we get there...priceless
Haiku # 65237, July 11, 2019 5:02 am ET
by vhs
words can wound, words can
heal, old age will be the same
others shall mock thee
Haiku # 65236, July 11, 2019 5:01 am ET
by vhs
react, jump, react
we are all spinning, we all
die, we all live too
Haiku # 65235, July 11, 2019 5:00 am ET
by vhs
You dumb dinosaur
Obsolete and soon extinct
Don't you know....time's up?

Your tiny little brain
Only knows about violence
As a solution

Scared of the green deal
And people who aren't white bread
Oh I pity you

Scared little bunny
The world is changing so fast
And you can't stop it

Go back to your hole
You can't save anything bub
Not even yourself

You are unneeded
Except for washing dishes
And feeding the worms
Haiku # 65234, July 11, 2019 4:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
i try not to think
of frogs, the thought just might make
me jump out at flies
Haiku # 65233, July 11, 2019 4:45 am ET
by vhs
shaking off the crust
of too much rusty poem
that old samsara
Haiku # 65232, July 11, 2019 4:38 am ET
by vhs
Was that thought allowed?
God, are you listening?
Insect frequency
Haiku # 65231, July 11, 2019 4:01 am ET
by God is a bug of Roach motel
Sit on a park bench
Allow birds to perch on you
Coat dink with birdseed
Haiku # 65230, July 11, 2019 3:23 am ET
by Audoboner Society of Dick s Feed and Seed
Burn all poetry.
The only thoughts you should have
are those I allow.
Haiku # 65229, July 11, 2019 2:35 am ET
by Big Brother
Sir Sparklepony,
if you are a horse doctor,
what you think of frogs?
Haiku # 65228, July 11, 2019 2:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Past life regression
You were always an asshole
And we go way back
Haiku # 65227, July 11, 2019 1:49 am ET
by Trudging along of Past Present Future
As I was saying
The true path to happiness
Is cunnilingus
Haiku # 65226, July 11, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Recipient
Overreact much?
Oh lighten up VHS
it's poems....not war
Haiku # 65225, July 11, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I may just be a sentient horse that
Eschews traditional syllabalic format
But I know as well as you that some
People have no interest in saving
Or being saved for that matter
Trust me, I'm a horse doctor
Obsess not; the horseman cometh
(Predictably shitty haiku incoming)
Haiku # 65224, July 11, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD of Keep Calm and Trot On
i can remove myself
from real life and here to better
places, what was that

about the good samaritan
not leaving you on the side of
the road to die?

perhaps i will walk on
Haiku # 65223, July 10, 2019 11:54 pm ET
by vhs
about time eh?
now about that fucking off suggestion?
Haiku # 65222, July 10, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by vhs of the other white meat
Hey he must be back
The one that always rambles
On and on and on
Haiku # 65221, July 10, 2019 10:31 pm ET
by The Guy From Maine
best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku # 65220, July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
best say to ignore
this kind of thing which i have been
censorship breeds people

who burn books, topple
statues and don't end with burning
people till someone burns them back.
Haiku # 65219, July 10, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by vhs
in fact if a gen
feels "justice" needs to be done
we might have to fight

you, to the death...oh
alexandria??? to deal with
pompous new green deals

or social engineering
take my guns, take my life, take
a risk to civil war

the blood of patrioits and progressives and a wake up
call when something serious happens
Haiku # 65218, July 10, 2019 10:03 pm ET
by vhs
the words "triggered" or
warnings for a gen
trained to overreact

addicted to outrage
my gen didn't always care if
you killed yourself on

the other end, our
privacy was more important
this is wrong but it

it was so, and how
many times might i myself have
hated myself deeply like that?
Haiku # 65217, July 10, 2019 10:01 pm ET
by vhs
the most repulsive
people in the world tempt me
to desire their deaths

of course that is mad
and does no one any good
some felt that of me

we are all not the
same but we are all the same
good and evil, there
Haiku # 65216, July 10, 2019 10:00 pm ET
by vhs
scowls... so you'd rather
see the malls vacated
amazon wins the

game, as a monopoly
this place is gotten together
because a generation

needs "rules" (seriously,
Seig Heil has the same reaction
from me, or political correctness)

Being i assume the person who posted the we need rules here idea wasn't born during the zeitgeist of the birth of Internet
one which had people and things
you could easily interact with you could get arrested for.

Let's start burning people at
the stake again, or let's start dunking people to see if they float or not

Sharia law, or fuck off and get over it. Sorry if you might just be a friend of mine.
Haiku # 65215, July 10, 2019 9:58 pm ET
by vhs
Was that too racist?
You never can tell these days.
Damn PC snowflakes.
Haiku # 65214, July 10, 2019 9:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's quite difficult.
You'll likely need a black girl.
Or boy, if you like.
Haiku # 65213, July 10, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That is not the truth.
You haven't tried the nostril.
Go on, stuff it in.
Haiku # 65212, July 10, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Those bedroom shenanigans
Tried in every hole
Haiku # 65211, July 10, 2019 12:14 am ET
by Tired and chafed
Sounds like censorship
But I do agree with you
This place is childish
Haiku # 65210, July 9, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Captain Kirk
Grandma wore a bib
When she was eating lobster
Or blowing Grandpa
Haiku # 65209, July 9, 2019 8:34 pm ET
by Neat Freak
Excuse me... 23 year experiment.
Haiku # 65208, July 9, 2019 8:09 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Well, you don't make people log in, any old angry bastard with erectile dysfunction or zit-face virgin living with mommy can get on here and say whatever.... Yeah, this site needs a serious overhaul.
(1) Log in.
(2) Poems only go public once approved.

I mean, this fucking turds and "Jesus fucks your grandma" and all that garbage... If you want to read the thoughts of sick demented worms, then keep it as is.

Otherwise, I'd just assume see this 21 year experiment shitcanned if it can't be upgraded.
Haiku # 65207, July 9, 2019 8:08 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
All you Facebook clowns
Instead of Mark Zuckerberg
Haiku # 65206, July 9, 2019 7:58 pm ET
by Duck Face
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