Start the day off right
Face down in my hot pussy
Good Morning Birdsong
by Cassowary Bird
Satan is God's ape.
The Lord keeps him on His leash.
Ask Martin Luther...
by Frederick the Elector of Saxony
I'm at the end zone
Scoping out some tight end meat
Wearing pantyhose
by Joe Namath of Sexy
Thrilling to behold
A man doing a handstand
With his erect dink
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
Modern Poetry
Generated by robot
Robot named Satan
by Cassowary bird of Bird bath
His view was bovine
No wonder he looked at porn
And farm magazines
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Sound carried for miles
The Booming Climax of God
Fucking us over
by smite Runner
They never washed up
Enjoyed their mutual stench
Spotlight on Coitus
by colitis
Say what you want
Just keep moving your big mouth
On my clitoris
by puffy of Mmm Mmm Good
Pubic Hair Harvest
A bumper crop this season
Pulled under moonlight
by Anonymous Poet
Some parishioners
Had complained about the host
Wafers smelled like carp
by Noticer of Details of First pew
Church let out early
Sister Margaret O'Mackerel
Had a smelly cunt
by Father Paul Pullingpud of Jerking off while I write this in the confessional
What a great idea
Lord God Almighty and Son
New TV sitcom
by Like Sanford and Son of But Souls instead of junk
Need to let Darth know
that CHRIST is his Lord and God
and will judge his ass.
by good luck of good night
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
He closed the barn door
Felt around in the darkness
Found the warm sow's cunt
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Cassowary.
by Anonymous Poet
Darth is so boring.
Predictable as always.
Same old shit and cum.
Never new topics.
Cannibal, eat dogs, shit, cum,
beastiality.
"I hate my fat wife."
"My kids are annoying turds."
And "all poets suck."
Oh, and brain damage.
Drugs, alcohol, and hookers.
Anything missing?
by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
However, I don't
make burgers out of dog meat.
I like burgers rare.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
Cat/dog difference.
Dogs make for a tasty stew.
Cats have diseases.
Well, dogs do also,
but cats carry diseases
that can pass to us.
Dogs not near as much.
Just cook them for a long time.
You will be okay.
Seriously, though, the funny thing about eating dog is that somehow dogs know if you're a dog-eater and they will bark at you or try to pee on you. That's no lie. Dogs are vicious little cunts. But they sure do taste good. Better than beef, and cheaper too.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
You don't light hotplates.
Do you mean Bunsen burner?
I am so confused.
If you need to get
the heat up inside the butt,
use a curling rod.
Your wife might get mad.
Her hair will smell like feces.
And attract insects.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
Stuff in dried corn cob
Dab coconut oil in bum
Sit on lit hotplate
by Movie Theatre Poopcorn of Aurora, Colorado
The difference between cats and dogs,
Dogs want to be somewhere else,
Cats just want to be where they are.
by Anonymous Poet
I enjoy the arts
I'd like to make some with farts
I am a f'artist
by The new artistic medium of Farts
Ultimate corn hole
How Orville Redenbacher died
Went out with a BANG
by No batteries of No distractions
Darth makes Haiku (yawn)
Shooting off his potty-mouth
from the Phillipines
by Anonymous Poet
The best part about
corn holing is eating the
corn after the fact.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER!!!! of And then there's poop in your corn that's in your poop that in your corn that's in your poop that's in your corn that's...
Saw a boy mooning
from the back of a jeep/bus.
People were laughing.
by Maybe there is hope for this backwards place.
All I can say is
What a day for corn holing
God is really good
by Rural Guido
Two E P L teams
In the Champions League final
Makes me wanna puke
by Should be Barca vs Ajax
I sucked both grandpas.
And simultaneously!
My parents were proud.
by Darth Figpucker!
Grandpa Mossy dink
When will you suck his old bone?
Sip his bleach chai drip
by Dankendstank of Rank end's tank
Or you could say that
I am really coming in.
Coming in YOUR ASS!
by Thank you for dropping the soap. of Prison shower high jinx.
Have you ever tried
single origin chocolate
that made you climax?
by I know, I know, that's gay. I'm coming out.
I changed the cat box.
One of the turds was golden.
I melted it down.
Pawn shop says it's brass.
Fucking cat's getting dry food!
Make a fool of me!
by Starvhscasswarykittencunt
Do you like sushi?
If not, you're a goddamn douche.
Real men eat sushi!
by I miss vhs calling me a douche. of I guess he doesn't want to insult the douches.
Sculpted bonzai plants.
Made to look like a huge dink.
Japs compensating.
by Why the fuck am I saying "dink"... was that starkitten that started that shit? Everyone knows it should be COCK!
Mount Fuji Erupts!
Or Godzilla jacking off.
Same-y same white boy!
by Anonymous Poet
Writing haiku is so gay that I feel like I should be paid for it. Every haiku that I write I can feel my asshole widening just a little more. I need some cash for this. Send money via paypal.
darthfigpucker2@gmail.com.
thanks in advance
If I get enough money I can buy myself an ultra-sized dildo and I won't need to write haiku any more.
by Darth Figpucker!
I still wish you had AIDS.
Please go out and get some.
by Anonymous Poet
I want a gerbil.
When I am done fucking it,
feed it to the cat.
by Makes your tiny cock feel sooooo HUGE!
Cass
O
Fucking
Wary
by Funtcart Funtcart Funt!
Anal lube flavor enhancer
Jollibee additive.
Substandard artificial monkey jizz.
by Darth Figpucker!
