I changed the cat box.
One of the turds was golden.
I melted it down.

Pawn shop says it's brass.
Fucking cat's getting dry food!
Make a fool of me!

Do you like sushi?
If not, you're a goddamn douche.
Real men eat sushi!

Sculpted bonzai plants.
Made to look like a huge dink.
Japs compensating.

Mount Fuji Erupts!
Or Godzilla jacking off.
Same-y same white boy!

Writing haiku is so gay that I feel like I should be paid for it. Every haiku that I write I can feel my asshole widening just a little more. I need some cash for this. Send money via paypal.
darthfigpucker2@gmail.com.
thanks in advance

If I get enough money I can buy myself an ultra-sized dildo and I won't need to write haiku any more.

I still wish you had AIDS.
Please go out and get some.

I want a gerbil.
When I am done fucking it,
feed it to the cat.

Cass
O
Fucking
Wary

Anal lube flavor enhancer
Jollibee additive.
Substandard artificial monkey jizz.

Goddamn your hand sanitizer!
It reeks like thrice used anal lube.
Oh... it is? I see.

Goddamn

Stinky Dink!

V H fuckin' S!

Cassowary!

Is your snatch sealed shut?
Is your cunt crusted over?
You need Twat-Snot-Gone!

So stale, so monotonous.
He should go for a walk.
Feed the pigeons.
Let them shit on his shoes.
Commune with nature.

I smell a stinky old poet.
Put him in the nursing home.
Let him pretend to write.

I smell a stinky old poet.
Put him in the nursing home.
Let him pretend to write.

I'm eating cheesecake.
Oreo cheesecake, that is.
And it ain't too bad.

Excuse me, I meant Inuit.
I'm not very PC.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.

Inside Gram-gram's cane
was 10 grams of pure cocaine!
Nursing home party!

You will overdose
cane broken off in your ass
We tried to warn you

What do you call an Eskimo hooker?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
A Frostitute!

Casso-fucking-wary!
Murdering fucking giant.
It ain't Big Bird.

Stuffitupyourass
Extinct pachyderm proboscis
8 foot cocaine line

Snuffitupyournose
You elephant's prostitute!
Snuffpornawfulbust

Mangina fajita burrito.
Mojito Dorito fluoresce vomitus.
Launch pad testicle rope tie.

Soggy old taco.
Distended rectum him whore roids.
Like a baboon's cunt.

Have you ever jacked off to the Numa Numa guy on YouTube?
Well then you haven't lived!

money drugs pussy
overdose twat snot corpse fuck
cocaine cunt smuggler

FARRRTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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This is your fantasy:
https://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/goosh-goosh/81394416/

Go jack off to it.
Write a haiku about it.
Bloody mangina.

Filled out my time card
Umpteen hours of poetry
Rich Cassowary

I opened the book
Saw lots of dirty pictures
Then I jerked off

It was a long read
Thanks for letting me borrow
Your Holy Bible

Your small genitals
Under investigation
Check is in the mail

Be on the lookout
For a crybaby poet
With a short penis

DARTH all over here.
The truth is, well, you're boring.
(And predictable)

Playing with myself
In my rig at the truck stop
The oversized load

Humiliation
You have your meat hanging out
But no one wants it

How Jesus got AIDS
Is a mystery to me
Was it drugs or sex?

I am watching you
But you don t think I see you
Look into my eyes

I am watching you
But you don

Who was that one freak?
Roamed the world eating strange stuff.
Made a TV show.

Snake semen latte.
They drink that in India.
Mixed with sweet chai tea.

Commune with Shiva.
Puts a wiggle in your hips.
The spirits of snakes.

The ejaculate
Brought forth from ten thousand snakes
I smirk as you gag

Do you drink weird bier?
No, I much prefer wierd beir.
That's what's in my stien.

Wearing a t-shirt
that says "Stay Weird" upside down
does not make you weird.

Bodily functions
do not make for good topics
of fine poetry.

Middle-aged women
should probably not dye their
hair bright pink and blue.

I wish you had AIDS
so I could anticipate
your suffering death.

Excuse me, monkeys.
Did you see my banana?
I know it was here.

It all boils down to
Penis of a certain length
Turns red like lobster