Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 39 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I'm eating cheesecake.
Oreo cheesecake, that is.
And it ain't too bad.
Haiku # 64693, May 9, 2019 1:58 am ET
by You dried twat snot
Excuse me, I meant Inuit.
I'm not very PC.
Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.
Haiku # 64692, May 9, 2019 1:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Inside Gram-gram's cane
was 10 grams of pure cocaine!
Nursing home party!

You will overdose
cane broken off in your ass
We tried to warn you
Haiku # 64691, May 9, 2019 1:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
What do you call an Eskimo hooker?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
A Frostitute!
Haiku # 64690, May 9, 2019 1:47 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Casso-fucking-wary!
Murdering fucking giant.
It ain't Big Bird.

Stuffitupyourass
Extinct pachyderm proboscis
8 foot cocaine line

Snuffitupyournose
You elephant's prostitute!
Snuffpornawfulbust
Haiku # 64689, May 9, 2019 1:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Mangina fajita burrito.
Mojito Dorito fluoresce vomitus.
Launch pad testicle rope tie.

Soggy old taco.
Distended rectum him whore roids.
Like a baboon's cunt.
Haiku # 64688, May 9, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Have you ever jacked off to the Numa Numa guy on YouTube?
Well then you haven't lived!
Haiku # 64687, May 9, 2019 1:35 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
money drugs pussy
overdose twat snot corpse fuck
cocaine cunt smuggler
Haiku # 64686, May 9, 2019 1:34 am ET
by crass ass gas
FARRRTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 64685, May 9, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Cum shit ladyboy bitch cassowary
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Haiku # 64684, May 9, 2019 1:30 am ET
by Darth is everywhere and soooooo boring!!!!! of Darth is soooooo boring!!! Darth is dull! Tire old cum shit verse!
Cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary cassowary
Haiku # 64683, May 9, 2019 1:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
This is your fantasy:
https://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/goosh-goosh/81394416/

Go jack off to it.
Write a haiku about it.
Bloody mangina.
Haiku # 64682, May 9, 2019 1:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Filled out my time card
Umpteen hours of poetry
Rich Cassowary
Haiku # 64680, May 8, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Cassowary bird of Golden Eggs
I opened the book
Saw lots of dirty pictures
Then I jerked off

It was a long read
Thanks for letting me borrow
Your Holy Bible
Haiku # 64679, May 8, 2019 8:50 pm ET
by Avid reader
Your small genitals
Under investigation
Check is in the mail
Haiku # 64678, May 8, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by God of Sent u a refund cause I gave u tiny junk
Be on the lookout
For a crybaby poet
With a short penis
Haiku # 64677, May 8, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of His feet are small, too
DARTH all over here.
The truth is, well, you're boring.
(And predictable)
Haiku # 64676, May 8, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Master oF arts
Playing with myself
In my rig at the truck stop
The oversized load
Haiku # 64675, May 8, 2019 1:54 pm ET
by Mack of Truck Stop
Humiliation
You have your meat hanging out
But no one wants it
Haiku # 64674, May 8, 2019 1:50 pm ET
by Smelly fart
How Jesus got AIDS
Is a mystery to me
Was it drugs or sex?
Haiku # 64673, May 8, 2019 8:17 am ET
by Memoirs of A geisha
I am watching you
But you don t think I see you
Look into my eyes
Haiku # 64672, May 8, 2019 7:24 am ET
by You will
I am watching you
But you don
Haiku # 64671, May 8, 2019 7:23 am ET
by You
Who was that one freak?
Roamed the world eating strange stuff.
Made a TV show.
Haiku # 64670, May 8, 2019 3:51 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Snake semen latte.
They drink that in India.
Mixed with sweet chai tea.

Commune with Shiva.
Puts a wiggle in your hips.
The spirits of snakes.
Haiku # 64669, May 8, 2019 3:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The ejaculate
Brought forth from ten thousand snakes
I smirk as you gag
Haiku # 64668, May 8, 2019 2:36 am ET
by Lavatory Laureate of Lavatory
Do you drink weird bier?
No, I much prefer wierd beir.
That's what's in my stien.
Haiku # 64667, May 8, 2019 2:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wearing a t-shirt
that says "Stay Weird" upside down
does not make you weird.
Haiku # 64666, May 8, 2019 2:19 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bodily functions
do not make for good topics
of fine poetry.
Haiku # 64665, May 8, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Middle-aged women
should probably not dye their
hair bright pink and blue.
Haiku # 64664, May 8, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wish you had AIDS
so I could anticipate
your suffering death.
Haiku # 64663, May 8, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Excuse me, monkeys.
Did you see my banana?
I know it was here.
Haiku # 64662, May 8, 2019 1:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It all boils down to
Penis of a certain length
Turns red like lobster
Haiku # 64661, May 7, 2019 6:39 pm ET
by Snapper
Alcoholic fool
Plenty more where that came from
Be sure not to drive
Haiku # 64660, May 7, 2019 6:37 pm ET
by Smarten up
Haiku are so gay.
Just one small haiku equals
a hundred sucked cocks.
Haiku # 64659, May 7, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by oops!
Update to really bad Haiku

it is 5 p m
a blue planet revolving
gin and tonic bliss
Haiku # 64658, May 7, 2019 4:09 pm ET
by SacScratcher of Milky Way Galaxy
it is five p m
somewhere on this blue planet
gin and tonic is born
Haiku # 64657, May 7, 2019 4:02 pm ET
by SacScratcher of Milky Way Galaxy
I wish I had AIDS
So I could kill somebody
Just by fucking them
Haiku # 64656, May 7, 2019 1:43 pm ET
by Gulity of 1st degree murder
Haiku is like gold:
it is totally worthless
except for the shine.
Haiku # 64655, May 7, 2019 12:26 pm ET
by Goldy Himmelfarb
When playing in other people's poop
you've made a better choice
than writing haiku.
Haiku # 64654, May 7, 2019 6:48 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
When playing in other people's poop
it is important to forget
that they might have strange diseases.
Haiku # 64653, May 7, 2019 6:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The bible was wrong
Mary wasn't a virgin
She was fucked plenty
Haiku # 64652, May 7, 2019 4:39 am ET
by Going out of Business sale
Chief Diarrhea
His bravery remembered
He walked the Brown Trail
Haiku # 64651, May 7, 2019 2:51 am ET
by Fecal Historians Society
Jesus must be happy to be slandered
by a petulant scumbag who has
the charisma of a rodent gloating
about the poison it's eating
I've met rats with better personalities
which says a lot because rats eat their own shit and you might too but at least rats don't brag about it
Haiku # 64650, May 7, 2019 2:11 am ET
by Anonymous Prophet
When playing in your own poop
It is important to remember
You are the only one covered in poop
Haiku # 64649, May 7, 2019 1:17 am ET
by Advice for Retarded Satanist
Somersault Handstand
Jumping Jack Jumping Jack split
Wank. Ejaculate
Haiku # 64648, May 6, 2019 7:24 pm ET
by Darthrobics of Fitness Gymnasium
Tsunami of filth
syllabic, dull, moronic:
lyric mind of Darth
Haiku # 64647, May 6, 2019 6:06 pm ET
by Haiku Antiseptic Spray of Poetic Hygiene Vigilante Squad
Inconsolable
Sehnsucht identified now
It's Cedric; Mark him
Haiku # 64646, May 6, 2019 4:44 pm ET
by Ledge of Kentucky
Jesus is hairless
He keeps a flavor savor
On his chin sometimes
Haiku # 64645, May 6, 2019 3:39 pm ET
by Tuna
Jesus has a beard
To cover the cum splotches
Gotten through the years
Haiku # 64644, May 6, 2019 2:43 pm ET
by Failure of The mental health system
I'm in the next stall
I'm shitting like a racehorse
I'm scratched from the race
Haiku # 64643, May 6, 2019 12:00 pm ET
by All bets are off
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