BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
247 Days
and
65348 Haikus
later...
Thrilling to behold
A man doing a handstand
With his erect dink
Haiku #64749, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest
May 10, 2019 6:17 am ET

Modern Poetry
Generated by robot
Robot named Satan
Haiku #64748, by Cassowary bird of Bird bath
May 10, 2019 3:16 am ET

His view was bovine
No wonder he looked at porn
And farm magazines
Haiku #64747, by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
May 10, 2019 3:11 am ET

Sound carried for miles
The Booming Climax of God
Fucking us over
Haiku #64746, by smite Runner
May 10, 2019 2:04 am ET

They never washed up
Enjoyed their mutual stench
Spotlight on Coitus
Haiku #64745, by colitis
May 10, 2019 2:02 am ET

Say what you want
Just keep moving your big mouth
On my clitoris
Haiku #64744, by puffy of Mmm Mmm Good
May 10, 2019 12:39 am ET

Pubic Hair Harvest
A bumper crop this season
Pulled under moonlight
Haiku #64743, by Anonymous Poet
May 10, 2019 12:33 am ET

Some parishioners
Had complained about the host
Wafers smelled like carp
Haiku #64742, by Noticer of Details of First pew
May 9, 2019 9:36 pm ET

Church let out early
Sister Margaret O'Mackerel
Had a smelly cunt
Haiku #64741, by Father Paul Pullingpud of Jerking off while I write this in the confessional
May 9, 2019 9:33 pm ET

What a great idea
Lord God Almighty and Son
New TV sitcom
Haiku #64740, by Like Sanford and Son of But Souls instead of junk
May 9, 2019 9:30 pm ET

Need to let Darth know
that CHRIST is his Lord and God
and will judge his ass.
Haiku #64739, by good luck of good night
May 9, 2019 8:42 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64738, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 8:10 pm ET

He closed the barn door
Felt around in the darkness
Found the warm sow's cunt
Haiku #64737, by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
May 9, 2019 7:46 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64736, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64735, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64734, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64733, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64732, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:09 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64731, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:08 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64730, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:08 pm ET

Cassowary.
Haiku #64729, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 5:07 pm ET

Darth is so boring.
Predictable as always.
Same old shit and cum.

Never new topics.
Cannibal, eat dogs, shit, cum,
beastiality.

"I hate my fat wife."
"My kids are annoying turds."
And "all poets suck."

Oh, and brain damage.
Drugs, alcohol, and hookers.
Anything missing?
Haiku #64728, by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
May 9, 2019 5:05 pm ET

However, I don't
make burgers out of dog meat.
I like burgers rare.
Haiku #64727, by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
May 9, 2019 4:59 pm ET

Cat/dog difference.
Dogs make for a tasty stew.
Cats have diseases.

Well, dogs do also,
but cats carry diseases
that can pass to us.

Dogs not near as much.
Just cook them for a long time.
You will be okay.

Seriously, though, the funny thing about eating dog is that somehow dogs know if you're a dog-eater and they will bark at you or try to pee on you. That's no lie. Dogs are vicious little cunts. But they sure do taste good. Better than beef, and cheaper too.
Haiku #64726, by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
May 9, 2019 4:57 pm ET

You don't light hotplates.
Do you mean Bunsen burner?
I am so confused.

If you need to get
the heat up inside the butt,
use a curling rod.

Your wife might get mad.
Her hair will smell like feces.
And attract insects.
Haiku #64725, by DARTH FIGPUCKER!
May 9, 2019 4:51 pm ET

Stuff in dried corn cob
Dab coconut oil in bum
Sit on lit hotplate
Haiku #64724, by Movie Theatre Poopcorn of Aurora, Colorado
May 9, 2019 2:10 pm ET

The difference between cats and dogs,
Dogs want to be somewhere else,
Cats just want to be where they are.
Haiku #64723, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 2:10 pm ET

I enjoy the arts
I'd like to make some with farts
I am a f'artist
Haiku #64722, by The new artistic medium of Farts
May 9, 2019 1:52 pm ET

Ultimate corn hole
How Orville Redenbacher died
Went out with a BANG
Haiku #64721, by No batteries of No distractions
May 9, 2019 1:00 pm ET

Darth makes Haiku (yawn)
Shooting off his potty-mouth
from the Phillipines
Haiku #64720, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 11:30 am ET

The best part about
corn holing is eating the
corn after the fact.
Haiku #64719, by DARTH FIGPUCKER!!!! of And then there's poop in your corn that's in your poop that in your corn that's in your poop that's in your corn that's...
May 9, 2019 11:14 am ET

Saw a boy mooning
from the back of a jeep/bus.
People were laughing.
Haiku #64718, by Maybe there is hope for this backwards place.
May 9, 2019 8:27 am ET

All I can say is
What a day for corn holing
God is really good
Haiku #64717, by Rural Guido
May 9, 2019 8:24 am ET

Two E P L teams
In the Champions League final
Makes me wanna puke
Haiku #64716, by Should be Barca vs Ajax
May 9, 2019 7:37 am ET

I sucked both grandpas.
And simultaneously!
My parents were proud.
Haiku #64715, by Darth Figpucker!
May 9, 2019 7:29 am ET

Grandpa Mossy dink
When will you suck his old bone?
Sip his bleach chai drip
Haiku #64714, by Dankendstank of Rank end's tank
May 9, 2019 6:00 am ET

Or you could say that
I am really coming in.
Coming in YOUR ASS!
Haiku #64713, by Thank you for dropping the soap. of Prison shower high jinx.
May 9, 2019 4:22 am ET

Have you ever tried
single origin chocolate
that made you climax?
Haiku #64712, by I know, I know, that's gay. I'm coming out.
May 9, 2019 3:44 am ET

I changed the cat box.
One of the turds was golden.
I melted it down.

Pawn shop says it's brass.
Fucking cat's getting dry food!
Make a fool of me!
Haiku #64711, by Starvhscasswarykittencunt
May 9, 2019 3:38 am ET

Do you like sushi?
If not, you're a goddamn douche.
Real men eat sushi!
Haiku #64710, by I miss vhs calling me a douche. of I guess he doesn't want to insult the douches.
May 9, 2019 3:36 am ET

Sculpted bonzai plants.
Made to look like a huge dink.
Japs compensating.
Haiku #64709, by Why the fuck am I saying "dink"... was that starkitten that started that shit? Everyone knows it should be COCK!
May 9, 2019 3:30 am ET

Mount Fuji Erupts!
Or Godzilla jacking off.
Same-y same white boy!
Haiku #64708, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 2:53 am ET

Writing haiku is so gay that I feel like I should be paid for it. Every haiku that I write I can feel my asshole widening just a little more. I need some cash for this. Send money via paypal.
darthfigpucker2@gmail.com.
thanks in advance

If I get enough money I can buy myself an ultra-sized dildo and I won't need to write haiku any more.
Haiku #64707, by Darth Figpucker!
May 9, 2019 2:49 am ET

I still wish you had AIDS.
Please go out and get some.
Haiku #64706, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 2:43 am ET

I want a gerbil.
When I am done fucking it,
feed it to the cat.
Haiku #64705, by Makes your tiny cock feel sooooo HUGE!
May 9, 2019 2:41 am ET

Cass
O
Fucking
Wary
Haiku #64704, by Funtcart Funtcart Funt!
May 9, 2019 2:39 am ET

Anal lube flavor enhancer
Jollibee additive.
Substandard artificial monkey jizz.
Haiku #64703, by Darth Figpucker!
May 9, 2019 2:38 am ET

Goddamn your hand sanitizer!
It reeks like thrice used anal lube.
Oh... it is? I see.
Haiku #64702, by Darth Figpucker!
May 9, 2019 2:35 am ET

Goddamn
Haiku #64701, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 2:33 am ET

Stinky Dink!
Haiku #64700, by Anonymous Poet
May 9, 2019 2:17 am ET