Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 45 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Throw down some haiku
The Lord forgives all your sins
Say some dirty words
Haiku # 63838, April 16, 2019 2:10 am ET
by Cunt Scribe
My time here is short.
I fear the monster's return.
It is what you want.
Haiku # 63837, April 16, 2019 2:07 am ET
by TTGFP of Lord have mercy on these sinful poets!
Praise be to the Lord!
My only friend in this world
Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 63836, April 16, 2019 2:05 am ET
by Starkitten of Glitter pan
Been chasing dollars.
For the church collection plate.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 63835, April 16, 2019 2:01 am ET
by TTGFP of No, seriously! I mean it!
Figpucker is gone
His dirty thoughts and prayers
Our consolation
Haiku # 63834, April 16, 2019 1:59 am ET
by Poet
Believe me, I try
Holding back the haiku flow
That time of the month
Haiku # 63833, April 16, 2019 1:55 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of cunt
Genital bonsai
Mutilation or high art
On the cutting edge
Haiku # 63832, April 16, 2019 1:46 am ET
by That foolish moustache tickles
No other art form
Brings the artist such pleasure
As masturbation
Haiku # 63831, April 16, 2019 1:39 am ET
by Self portrait
Turning Japanese
Left my shoes parked at the door
Dick origami
Haiku # 63830, April 16, 2019 1:35 am ET
by Spitting Crane
A lonely pursuit
Arrangement of syllables
Might as well beat off
Haiku # 63829, April 16, 2019 1:33 am ET
by Punk of Chewation
CB Radios
Mom standing in the kitchen
What a cameltoe
Haiku # 63828, April 16, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Beside myself
I thought they were pets
Rabbits down in the cellar
They were for dinner
Haiku # 63827, April 16, 2019 1:16 am ET
by Just a kid
Pissed off Italian
The chain link fence broom attack
Yard vigilante
Haiku # 63826, April 16, 2019 1:11 am ET
by Rural Guido of Backyard
Heads bowed in prayer
Fresh Halibut Homily
Homely as a cunt
Haiku # 63825, April 16, 2019 1:08 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
At the slot machine
Pulled the wrong handle again
Jackpot of Jizzum
Haiku # 63824, April 16, 2019 1:04 am ET
by Winner winner choked chicken dinner
Sticks rubbed together
No more electricity
Modern day loin cloth
Haiku # 63823, April 16, 2019 12:37 am ET
by Largest size pouch of Selfie Stick
Hibernation ends
Groggy grizzly bears hunched
Spring bowel movements
Haiku # 63822, April 16, 2019 12:31 am ET
by Nose of Nose
Executioner
Like Big Bird high on bath salts
Bad Cassowary
Haiku # 63821, April 16, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Bad Egg of Dead End Street
Got a telegram
"I DIDN'T START THE FIRE" STOP
SENDER:BILLY JOEL
Haiku # 63820, April 16, 2019 12:18 am ET
by S. Cargo of Notre Dame
Polyester shorts
Your dad's penis snaking out
I better go home
Haiku # 63819, April 16, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Rural Guido
Wait I have no friend
Not even Lord Jesus Christ
Nor Father Christmas
Haiku # 63818, April 16, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Lone wolf
So what's the deal with
Lizard people? They're lizards?
Or are they people?
Haiku # 63817, April 16, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Jerry Seinfeld of 5 hits of acid
Bad Haiku poets
Have any met in real life?
Do you have real lives?
Haiku # 63816, April 15, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Asking for a friend
No one cares enough
About you to be happy
Or sad when you die

And this is mostly
Your fault because you've chosen
To be a scumbag
Haiku # 63815, April 15, 2019 11:56 pm ET
by Ghost of Christmas
The train whistle blows
And so does your grandmother
Just ask the mailman
Haiku # 63814, April 15, 2019 10:59 pm ET
by The Mailman of Porch
Warming my cold feet
Against your hot testicles
You're good for something
Haiku # 63813, April 15, 2019 10:55 pm ET
by What women want of Dad's anteater
I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet
Haiku # 63812, April 15, 2019 10:52 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting
Haiku # 63811, April 15, 2019 10:46 pm ET
by Let go of My arm
I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?
Haiku # 63810, April 15, 2019 9:51 pm ET
by That foolish moustache tickles of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking
Haiku # 63809, April 15, 2019 7:36 pm ET
by Big Plans
As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain
Haiku # 63808, April 15, 2019 7:00 pm ET
by What women want of No toucha da mushrooms
Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in
Haiku # 63807, April 15, 2019 6:23 pm ET
by Out of My element
Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole
Haiku # 63806, April 15, 2019 6:22 pm ET
by Very very tremendous terrific of The best words
Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?
Haiku # 63805, April 15, 2019 2:31 pm ET
by Efficiency Expert of Jerking off while I write this
That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too
Haiku # 63804, April 15, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by Naomi the Moner of Spread eagled
My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was
Haiku # 63803, April 15, 2019 10:23 am ET
by The Joy of Sex
When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward
Haiku # 63802, April 15, 2019 10:07 am ET
by World Series of Poker
Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement
Haiku # 63801, April 15, 2019 7:03 am ET
by He Never Gets Bored... But We Do
How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.
Haiku # 63800, April 15, 2019 5:34 am ET
by DF is an algorithm
Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo
Haiku # 63799, April 15, 2019 2:29 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt
Haiku # 63798, April 15, 2019 2:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either
Haiku # 63797, April 15, 2019 1:54 am ET
by Proof of My parents having fucked
come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either
Haiku # 63796, April 15, 2019 1:48 am ET
by what's it called when you wrestle alone in a pile of shit?

I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku # 63795, April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET
by Rural Dickbutt
Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
Haiku # 63794, April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET
by People person
This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
Haiku # 63793, April 15, 2019 1:41 am ET
by Visitors
I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku # 63792, April 15, 2019 1:38 am ET
by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
Haiku # 63791, April 15, 2019 1:22 am ET
by Hans Ånd of haunted house
I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
Haiku # 63790, April 15, 2019 1:20 am ET
by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
Haiku # 63789, April 15, 2019 1:15 am ET
by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
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