BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
245 Days
and
65331 Haikus
later...
I don't have a wife
And I ain't a lesbian
You ain't a poet
Haiku #63812, by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
April 15, 2019 10:52 pm ET

Listed side effects
Of fucking your wife include
Severe vomiting
Haiku #63811, by Let go of My arm
April 15, 2019 10:46 pm ET

I just want to know
How is The Hunchback doing?
Has anyone heard?
Haiku #63810, by That foolish moustache tickles of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
April 15, 2019 9:51 pm ET

Next time we leave here
We will walk in to the sea
And just keep walking
Haiku #63809, by Big Plans
April 15, 2019 7:36 pm ET

As if she would care
Like envying the plumber
Unclogging the drain
Haiku #63808, by What women want of No toucha da mushrooms
April 15, 2019 7:00 pm ET

Blowjobs are simple
One gives,the other receives
Then your wife walks in
Haiku #63807, by Out of My element
April 15, 2019 6:23 pm ET

Vocabulary
Terrible, terrible fire
Enormous asshole
Haiku #63806, by Very very tremendous terrific of The best words
April 15, 2019 6:22 pm ET

Save time and feel great!
Orgasmic bowel movements
Sexcrement! Why not?
Haiku #63805, by Efficiency Expert of Jerking off while I write this
April 15, 2019 2:31 pm ET

That was no orgy
Ladies Bible Study Group
We meet next week, too
Haiku #63804, by Naomi the Moner of Spread eagled
April 15, 2019 12:27 pm ET

My wife wasn't home
So I went to an orgy
Guess where my wife was
Haiku #63803, by The Joy of Sex
April 15, 2019 10:23 am ET

When your wife walks in
As you're fucking your girlfriend
That can be awkward
Haiku #63802, by World Series of Poker
April 15, 2019 10:07 am ET

Darth's infantile mind
Displays two basic settings:
Sex and excrement
Haiku #63801, by He Never Gets Bored... But We Do
April 15, 2019 7:03 am ET

How can anyone
Produce so much bad haiku?
It must be software.
Haiku #63800, by DF is an algorithm
April 15, 2019 5:34 am ET

Tiger woods boner
He fucks subway sandwiches
Makes his own Mayo
Haiku #63799, by Anonymous Poet
April 15, 2019 2:29 am ET

Your pa diddled fish
Right at the dinner table
Up in Granny s cunt
Haiku #63798, by Anonymous Poet
April 15, 2019 2:01 am ET

Grandchildren are proof
Your kids were as dumb as you
So don't have either
Haiku #63797, by Proof of My parents having fucked
April 15, 2019 1:54 am ET

come wrestle in mud
there's one catch though - it's not mud
not chocolate either
Haiku #63796, by what's it called when you wrestle alone in a pile of shit?
April 15, 2019 1:48 am ET


I live in the woods
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku #63795, by Rural Dickbutt
April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET

Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
Haiku #63794, by People person
April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET

This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
Haiku #63793, by Visitors
April 15, 2019 1:41 am ET

I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku #63792, by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
April 15, 2019 1:38 am ET

I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
Haiku #63791, by Hans Ånd of haunted house
April 15, 2019 1:22 am ET

I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
Haiku #63790, by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
April 15, 2019 1:20 am ET

Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
Haiku #63789, by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
April 15, 2019 1:15 am ET

You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?
Haiku #63788, by Rural Guido of Here
April 15, 2019 1:12 am ET

Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed
Haiku #63787, by Grandma of Grandma's House
April 15, 2019 1:11 am ET

Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see
Haiku #63786, by Garth Fagtackler of The Deep South
April 15, 2019 1:07 am ET

I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up
Haiku #63785, by Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
April 15, 2019 1:06 am ET

Wore out your welcome
You defecated full blast
In our pagoda
Haiku #63784, by Noticer of Details of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
April 15, 2019 12:14 am ET

Cunnilingus school
You never should have dropped out
Could have been someone
Haiku #63783, by That foolish moustache tickles of Under the milky way (2nite)
April 15, 2019 12:10 am ET

Rockefeller stew
When you get a hankering
Sample our long pig
Haiku #63782, by When God aint looking
April 15, 2019 12:08 am ET

But do you own a
shrunken head signed by Osbourn?
Heathen artifacts.
Haiku #63781, by Praise be to Jesus! of There's no "e" in Osborn's name.
April 14, 2019 11:52 pm ET

Being gay man's sex toy
Is sure not desirable
But there's free Wi-Fi
Haiku #63780, by Lemmywinks of Mr. Slave's Ass
April 14, 2019 11:50 pm ET

Wait a minute here!
You're saying that being Steve
Buscemi's butt beads

would not be heaven?!
You need your head examined!
Ghost pepper salsa!
Haiku #63779, by Holy Ghost Pepper Salsa of Praise be to Jesus!
April 14, 2019 11:45 pm ET

There's no Figpucker.
There is only Twinkle Toes.
Praise be to Jesus!

The gates of Heaven
open wide for believers!
Praise be to Jesus!

My sins washed away
by blood from The Lamb of God.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63778, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of I dropped my wand, be a gentleman and pick it up for me, will you.
April 14, 2019 11:40 pm ET

If I had a twat
I would show it to my friends
If I had any
Haiku #63777, by Death of A salesman
April 14, 2019 11:14 pm ET

Now then, where was I?
Speaking of cassowaries
Do they have big dinks?
Haiku #63776, by Rural Guido
April 14, 2019 10:31 pm ET

Cassowary sex
An unplanned vasectomy
Thug bird physician
Haiku #63775, by Very Wary
April 14, 2019 10:24 pm ET

I own a letter
that's signed by T.L. Osborne.
It's there on my shelf.
Haiku #63774, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 10:02 pm ET

when df dies he won't go to heaven
because of the bad things he did
he won't go to hell either because
he wasn't quite evil enough to molest his own children (right?) instead he will spend his next lifetime incarnated as steve buscemi's favorite set of anal beads... after he ate a lot of spicy food
Haiku #63773, by Sparklepony, MD of I'M BACK!!!
April 14, 2019 9:59 pm ET

Had I known better
I would not have attempted
Cassowary sex
Haiku #63772, by Messed up
April 14, 2019 9:57 pm ET

Gonna sit on you
Fat Mama Cassowary
Get me a sandwich!
Haiku #63771, by Rural Guido
April 14, 2019 9:21 pm ET

Writing poetry
Makes he have bowel movements
Then I get horny
Haiku #63770, by Watch out
April 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET

Slide down banisters
Read Darth Figpucker poems
Go straight to climax
Haiku #63769, by Satisfied
April 14, 2019 6:02 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
How do women masturbate?
They don't have a dick
Haiku #63768, by In dire need of A shower
April 14, 2019 5:29 pm ET

At least it's not pork.
Jesus approves your diet.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63767, by TTGFP
April 14, 2019 4:45 pm ET

But they taste so gooood!
Cassowary casserole.
It's well worth the fight.
Haiku #63766, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 4:43 pm ET

Put your pecker in
Something might happen to it
You'll get goo on stuff
Haiku #63765, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 4:28 pm ET

Most dangerous bird
Be wary! Cassowary
Very,Very, Very scary
Haiku #63764, by Very Very Very Very of Tremendous
April 14, 2019 2:44 pm ET

The next president
Not a buffoon with dementia
Not a big LOSER
Haiku #63763, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 2:39 pm ET