BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
248 Days
and
65352 Haikus
later...
Milky meat people
Pounding their puds against walls
Those are my people
Haiku #63794, by People person
April 15, 2019 1:44 am ET

This world is all shit
All the people smell like shit
Are you their leader?
Haiku #63793, by Visitors
April 15, 2019 1:41 am ET

I am an agent
I also have a dickbutt
Which is relevant
Haiku #63792, by Secret Agent Dickbutt of Langley, VA
April 15, 2019 1:38 am ET

I am a ghost, ånd
I sometimes speak Norwegian
Og jeg vet ikke
Haiku #63791, by Hans Ånd of haunted house
April 15, 2019 1:22 am ET

I am a duck, and
I like to browse internet
I also have hands
Haiku #63790, by Hans And of local toxic chemical spill
April 15, 2019 1:20 am ET

Bitching bastard birds
Evil Cassowary
Ostrich and Emu
Haiku #63789, by Rural Guido of I wanted to fuck them
April 15, 2019 1:15 am ET

You got a sandwich
Buttcheecks for bread. Big pickle
What would the meat be?
Haiku #63788, by Rural Guido of Here
April 15, 2019 1:12 am ET

Come pet the puppy
And then you'll have a nice bath
Get ready for bed
Haiku #63787, by Grandma of Grandma's House
April 15, 2019 1:11 am ET

Where I come from we
Tackle fairies like you boy
Hence my last name, see
Haiku #63786, by Garth Fagtackler of The Deep South
April 15, 2019 1:07 am ET

I've never had kids
For a very good reason
Cuz they'd be fucked up
Haiku #63785, by Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
April 15, 2019 1:06 am ET

Wore out your welcome
You defecated full blast
In our pagoda
Haiku #63784, by Noticer of Details of Wherever you find smelly arthritis
April 15, 2019 12:14 am ET

Cunnilingus school
You never should have dropped out
Could have been someone
Haiku #63783, by That foolish moustache tickles of Under the milky way (2nite)
April 15, 2019 12:10 am ET

Rockefeller stew
When you get a hankering
Sample our long pig
Haiku #63782, by When God aint looking
April 15, 2019 12:08 am ET

But do you own a
shrunken head signed by Osbourn?
Heathen artifacts.
Haiku #63781, by Praise be to Jesus! of There's no "e" in Osborn's name.
April 14, 2019 11:52 pm ET

Being gay man's sex toy
Is sure not desirable
But there's free Wi-Fi
Haiku #63780, by Lemmywinks of Mr. Slave's Ass
April 14, 2019 11:50 pm ET

Wait a minute here!
You're saying that being Steve
Buscemi's butt beads

would not be heaven?!
You need your head examined!
Ghost pepper salsa!
Haiku #63779, by Holy Ghost Pepper Salsa of Praise be to Jesus!
April 14, 2019 11:45 pm ET

There's no Figpucker.
There is only Twinkle Toes.
Praise be to Jesus!

The gates of Heaven
open wide for believers!
Praise be to Jesus!

My sins washed away
by blood from The Lamb of God.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63778, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of I dropped my wand, be a gentleman and pick it up for me, will you.
April 14, 2019 11:40 pm ET

If I had a twat
I would show it to my friends
If I had any
Haiku #63777, by Death of A salesman
April 14, 2019 11:14 pm ET

Now then, where was I?
Speaking of cassowaries
Do they have big dinks?
Haiku #63776, by Rural Guido
April 14, 2019 10:31 pm ET

Cassowary sex
An unplanned vasectomy
Thug bird physician
Haiku #63775, by Very Wary
April 14, 2019 10:24 pm ET

I own a letter
that's signed by T.L. Osborne.
It's there on my shelf.
Haiku #63774, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 10:02 pm ET

when df dies he won't go to heaven
because of the bad things he did
he won't go to hell either because
he wasn't quite evil enough to molest his own children (right?) instead he will spend his next lifetime incarnated as steve buscemi's favorite set of anal beads... after he ate a lot of spicy food
Haiku #63773, by Sparklepony, MD of I'M BACK!!!
April 14, 2019 9:59 pm ET

Had I known better
I would not have attempted
Cassowary sex
Haiku #63772, by Messed up
April 14, 2019 9:57 pm ET

Gonna sit on you
Fat Mama Cassowary
Get me a sandwich!
Haiku #63771, by Rural Guido
April 14, 2019 9:21 pm ET

Writing poetry
Makes he have bowel movements
Then I get horny
Haiku #63770, by Watch out
April 14, 2019 6:41 pm ET

Slide down banisters
Read Darth Figpucker poems
Go straight to climax
Haiku #63769, by Satisfied
April 14, 2019 6:02 pm ET

Sometimes I wonder
How do women masturbate?
They don't have a dick
Haiku #63768, by In dire need of A shower
April 14, 2019 5:29 pm ET

At least it's not pork.
Jesus approves your diet.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63767, by TTGFP
April 14, 2019 4:45 pm ET

But they taste so gooood!
Cassowary casserole.
It's well worth the fight.
Haiku #63766, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 4:43 pm ET

Put your pecker in
Something might happen to it
You'll get goo on stuff
Haiku #63765, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 4:28 pm ET

Most dangerous bird
Be wary! Cassowary
Very,Very, Very scary
Haiku #63764, by Very Very Very Very of Tremendous
April 14, 2019 2:44 pm ET

The next president
Not a buffoon with dementia
Not a big LOSER
Haiku #63763, by Anonymous Poet
April 14, 2019 2:39 pm ET

Debora ding the plane
Pulled into Sacramento
Next up: shoplift bread

Gluten free Jesus
Next time you take excrement
Report on the smell
Haiku #63762, by Funny fella
April 14, 2019 2:37 pm ET

When you next take bread
contemplate the sacrament.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63761, by TTGFP
April 14, 2019 10:51 am ET

I think U sayin
Something about lightning bolts
Anal greased lightning
Haiku #63760, by Back end smote
April 14, 2019 6:05 am ET

Oral Roberts. Cream
Full facial oil of Olay
You look marvelous
Haiku #63759, by Aesthetician
April 14, 2019 6:03 am ET

I am missing the
connection to Usain Bolt.
Best I do not know.

Ignorance is bliss.
Not in the Bible, but still,
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63758, by TTGFP of Holding my collection of Oral Roberts prayer cloths.
April 14, 2019 5:09 am ET

Before I give blood
I always say "I have AIDS"
But nobody laughs
Haiku #63757, by On the verge of A nervous breakdown
April 14, 2019 1:44 am ET

Engraved on the cross
Property of Squeaky Fromme
Cross smells like tuna
Haiku #63756, by Vincent Bugliosi's pissed off of Apparition
April 13, 2019 11:46 pm ET

Hi kisses his cross.
And then looks up to Heaven.
Praise be to Jesus.
Haiku #63755, by Usain Bolt is awesome. of But shooting a blank starts the race. Ironic, no?
April 13, 2019 11:37 pm ET

Usain Bolt for sperm
Like a creamsickle with legs
You ain't shooting blanks
Haiku #63754, by Anonymous Poet of Long English or short Mexican
April 13, 2019 11:21 pm ET

perm(46,2)\
=46!/((46-2)!2!)
= 2070
Haiku #63753, by So now you know
April 13, 2019 11:15 pm ET

It's imperative
One understands that fucking
Sometimes makes babies
Haiku #63752, by Last of The Mohicans
April 13, 2019 11:13 pm ET

Physical exam
Listen Mr. Figpucker
Your penis is HUGE
Haiku #63751, by Doc
April 13, 2019 11:10 pm ET

Jesus knows THE Way.
As opposed to just "de way".
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63750, by TTGFP of Dragging my, ahem, knuckles through the dirt.
April 13, 2019 11:09 pm ET

And, no, you wise guys,
Jesus is not Ugandan.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63749, by TTGFP
April 13, 2019 11:06 pm ET

Ozzy knows nothing.
Only Jesus knows the way.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku #63748, by TTGFP of TL Osborn's Museum of Evangelical Oddities
April 13, 2019 11:03 pm ET

Lets go all the way
Enough fingering the clam
Shove it right in there
Haiku #63747, by Voice of Encouragement
April 13, 2019 10:59 pm ET

Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind ?
(Better ask Ozzy)
Haiku #63746, by Black Haiku Sabbath of Fuzz Guitar
April 13, 2019 10:55 pm ET

Haiku Janitor
So hard to clean up in here
Which poems are good?
Haiku #63745, by Haiku Janitor of End of my rope
April 13, 2019 10:31 pm ET