Slide down banisters
Read Darth Figpucker poems
Go straight to climax
by Satisfied
Sometimes I wonder
How do women masturbate?
They don't have a dick
by In dire need of A shower
At least it's not pork.
Jesus approves your diet.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP
But they taste so gooood!
Cassowary casserole.
It's well worth the fight.
by Anonymous Poet
Put your pecker in
Something might happen to it
You'll get goo on stuff
by Anonymous Poet
Most dangerous bird
Be wary! Cassowary
Very,Very, Very scary
by Very Very Very Very of Tremendous
The next president
Not a buffoon with dementia
Not a big LOSER
by Anonymous Poet
Debora ding the plane
Pulled into Sacramento
Next up: shoplift bread
Gluten free Jesus
Next time you take excrement
Report on the smell
by Funny fella
When you next take bread
contemplate the sacrament.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP
I think U sayin
Something about lightning bolts
Anal greased lightning
by Back end smote
Oral Roberts. Cream
Full facial oil of Olay
You look marvelous
by Aesthetician
I am missing the
connection to Usain Bolt.
Best I do not know.
Ignorance is bliss.
Not in the Bible, but still,
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP of Holding my collection of Oral Roberts prayer cloths.
Before I give blood
I always say "I have AIDS"
But nobody laughs
by On the verge of A nervous breakdown
Engraved on the cross
Property of Squeaky Fromme
Cross smells like tuna
by Vincent Bugliosi's pissed off of Apparition
Hi kisses his cross.
And then looks up to Heaven.
Praise be to Jesus.
by Usain Bolt is awesome. of But shooting a blank starts the race. Ironic, no?
Usain Bolt for sperm
Like a creamsickle with legs
You ain't shooting blanks
by Anonymous Poet of Long English or short Mexican
perm(46,2)\
=46!/((46-2)!2!)
= 2070
by So now you know
It's imperative
One understands that fucking
Sometimes makes babies
by Last of The Mohicans
Physical exam
Listen Mr. Figpucker
Your penis is HUGE
by Doc
Jesus knows THE Way.
As opposed to just "de way".
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP of Dragging my, ahem, knuckles through the dirt.
And, no, you wise guys,
Jesus is not Ugandan.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP
Ozzy knows nothing.
Only Jesus knows the way.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP of TL Osborn's Museum of Evangelical Oddities
Lets go all the way
Enough fingering the clam
Shove it right in there
by Voice of Encouragement
Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind ?
(Better ask Ozzy)
by Black Haiku Sabbath of Fuzz Guitar
Haiku Janitor
So hard to clean up in here
Which poems are good?
by Haiku Janitor of End of my rope
Move over Fleshlight
Now, shaped like a carved pumpkin
The Jackoff Lantern
by Headless Hung like a horse man of Nose
I get the feeling
Jim Morrison always said
SUCK ON MY DIIIIIIIII...CCCCCCK!!
by Noticer of Details of Crystal Ship
Jesus, take the wheel
Drank too much of the water
You turned into wine
by Drunk of Passed out
A set of footprints
As I shuffle through the sand
Jesus got big feet!
by You know what that means
Are you there, God?
It's just me, Darth Figpucker
I have changed my ways
by Wayward Son of Carrying on
this is what df's obituary
will say:
by Anonymous Poet
Ok I get it:
Twink Toe Glit Fairy Princess
TTGFP
by I thoght it was " Talk To God Fig Pucker"
Short is our time here.
Eternal is The Kingdom.
Praise be to Jesus.
by TTGFP of My time here is two weeks.
You can't handle truth.
Truth of Our Lord and Savior.
Praise be to Jesus!
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Where have you been?
What would your wife think?
This giving the dog a bone
Sleep in the doghouse!
by My word!
What would your wife think?
This
by My word!
I was REAL horny
My wife was visiting friends
So I fucked our dog
by Carnival of Carnage
No no stop it Darth
Oh you are pure wickedness
Lord, slay him in wrath !
by Actually you're merely infantile
The apostles watched
As God sucked off the Devil
Crying the whole time
by One of Your wife's fucktoys
T - T - G - F - P
Five letters, five syllables.
What do they stand for?
by Anonymous Poet
Glory to the Lord!
The devil hates His shed blood
And atoning death.
by Figpucker's Grandmother of Course
Jesus would never
partake in the devil's weed.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP
What if you re so high
Can t even hold your head up
What would Jesus do?
by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
What if you
by One toke over the line, sweet jesus of Railway station
These are not poems.
These are the Words of The Lord!
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTFFP
You know what it is,
The miracle of Jesus?
Praise be to Jesus!
Walking on water.
Fish, wine and bread, that's all fine.
Praise be to Jesus!
But those are not it!
He looked to strangers as friends.
Praise be to Jesus!
Only God does that.
And men fill with His spirit.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP
When you have Jesus
you can walk with your head high.
Praise be to Jesus!
by TTGFP
The Big Kahuna.
I do love a good burger.
Praise be to Jesus!
by Make mine Kosher. No cheese or bacon. of Hold the katsup and mayo.
Benny Mardones
Carpet Cleaning Services
I wouldn't trust him
by Primal scream of Into the night
Don't be do sure,bud
Might be conjoined headless twins
With a double cunt
by You the daddy
